Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mole]

There was a fellow soldier in the army, a short, stocky Black man.
We all called him Tripod.

Maybe off-topic, but I couldn't resist.

[kimchi_pizza]

"Johnny Pockets"

Guy I was in the service with from the hills of Kentucky or Virginia. Not the shapest pencil, but sent every dime back home to his folks so all he would ever eat were those mircowaveable "Hot Pockets" of pizza or ham & cheese or something. Everyday, breakfast, lunch & dinner - Hot Pockets, so....."Johnny Pockets".

Later, he went home bought a stolen car with illegal plates and tags and brought it back to our fort. He was an MP. I think the magistrate took pity on him and gave him a medical or some kind of conditional discharge from the service.

...good'ole Johnny...cork for a brain and a jerk but I felt sorry for him.

"Corky" popped into my head from that TV series and that movie "The Jerk". I could go for a good comedy right about now.

[JMO]

There was a girl at our school called Sabrina salt & vinegar as there was a rumor she used a crisp packet as a condom. Looking back that seems highly implausible.

I had a mate who by accident I gave the prefix "fat". I came in and said wheres Bill(not his real name) and someone said which one, and I said fat Bill. Stuck all the way thru school and he seemed to accept it.

[mole]

Since we've gone military.. a guy in my boot camp platoon tended to gawk at others' 'units' in the shower.
One backwoods redneck once said, "He'll smoke a d1ck."

The gawker got recycled, not keeping up, but not bad enough to kick out, so moved to a later class.

Every time we marched by his new platoon and saw him, someone (or many) would yell,
"Light one up, Smokey~~!"

[robot]

This isn't about how her name came about, but I'll tell you about Fridge.

Fridge was this larger girl at my Catholic high school. I don't know who came up with that life-scarringly unfortunate name, but it certainly stuck.

We were once having this school mass in the auditorium, about 900 or so students and teachers in attendance. Fridge went up to read a Psalm or something. But on her way up the stairs to the stage, she tripped and fell awkwardly to the ground with a huge crash.

The room went silent. Then from the back, one guy yells out:

"Ha ha! FRIDGE!"

And the room exploded into laughter. I mean absolutely exploded.

I'm not sure that Fridge was ever the same after that...

[crusher_of_heads]

That last anecdote about Fridge is funny and tragic, Corporal. That's why fatass ala Southpark is preferable, in my humble opinion.

[uberscheisse]

this annoying, pretentious hippie trekkie/starwars freak/science dude i worked with would always give me these long lectures.

i'd make an observation like "wow, when you drop a rock into water, the waves do________________" and he'd end up talking for like 30 minutes. i generally don't like to hear people talk about anything.

he earned the nickname "science fair" because of his wealth of marginally interesting yet only partially useful trivia.

[paytonfan86]

"Syphilis Twins" - The two Heathers who hung out together in high school who always seemed to have cold sores on their upper lips.

"Log legs" - The poor girl who was thin everywhere but her giant legs.

"Penito" - For my best friend who stupidly measured his *beep* and then bragged to a room full of guys that he came in at 5 inches. Pen (*beep*) + ito (Spanish for small).

This last one is not a name I gave someone but one I came across in a timely and unexpected way. I was out on a date with a girl who volunteered that her nickname in school was "Squirrel"

"Why squirrel?" I asked innocently.

"Because I always had nuts in my mouth," she replied.

Me: , , ,

[darkhorse_NZ]

This guy at my uni was called 'Pickle' 'cos he had a small meat truncheon. His folks didn't know the backstory and they ended up putting it on the number plate of the car he got for his 21st birthday.

This guy I knew who was in the Airforce was called 'Sh*tdog'. He was inept and awkward as all hell but have no idea where he got it from.

One of my good mate's Ferret, because he accepted the oral services of a girl in his dorm who was nicknamed 'Feral' who was prone to offering her services randomly.

this chick we called 'Stomper' because of the way she used to waddle down the street in the videoed 'walk of shame' segment on our uni TV channel.

[The Bobster]

Um, there's a poster who comes around the CE Forums here sometimes with the handle "wannago." (Teaches in the ME now, but originally he was thinking of coming to Korea, and that's why he first showed up here and hence the name he chose.)

He was bloviating about Michael Moore and thinking he was witty by calling him Michael Moron ... so I decided to call him "wannacum."

Get it? wannago --> wannacum. Damn, haha, he can be witty, so I can be just as witty ... damn, I kill myself sometimes. Ahooo-ah!

[Young FRANKenstein]

There were a whole slew of nicknames around my high school. The one I can actually remember:

- debate team captain was called Master Debater, and later just Bater.
- the school horndog was Poon
- two guys with retro styles of dress; one dressed like he was Bowzer from ShaNaNa (minus the grease in the hair) so he was Do-wop, and the other dressed like he stepped of the set of Beach Blanket Bingo right down to the tuft of hair on the chin, the beret, and the circle shades, so we called him Moondog
- a guy who tried to give himself a mohawk, but didn't get it right was called Rooster
- two stoners: Bong and Dub (for Double-L... "Liquid Lunch")
- Spaz looked like the guy from Meatballs
- the math teacher was Buzzard... his breath was so bad, it would knock a buzzard off a shit wagon
- the school slag was named Doorknob (everyone gets a turn). Later, it was changed to Coathanger.

I know I'm forgetting loads of them. Most of the people I went through school with weren't called by their real names.

[mole]

Off-topic as usual.
In the TX National Guard, I was the guy supervising our fairly often urinalises.
Pi55-tests for you Noofies.

Due to the regulations, I became known as the Pecker Checker.

[jazblanc77]

In my first year, there was "One-Armed Pete", "Fat Dylan" or "Captain America", and my wonjangnim who we called BFW (Big Fish with Wig), also known as Mr.X (so called because he was spying in on our conversations via the intercom system and he couldn't figure out we were talking about him with that name... not so good at English!). There was also a sicko kiddie fiddler and we just called him "Nick" and avoided him as much as possible until he was fired. In my second year, there was a girl that we called "Crazy Susan" because she was living in a whole other world of reality.

One of my favourites for that year was a Korean girl who had studied in Canada for 6 years. While there, she adopted an English name, Kim. That's normal enough, but it just so happened that her last name was also Kim. So I always called her Kim Kim. She didn't like that very much! A friend of hers was called G.I. Ken.

A friend in university who was really tiny was called Kermit while another friend with a huge head was named Mellon-head.

Yeah, nicknames make my world go 'round!