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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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storysinger81
Joined: 25 Mar 2007
Location: Daegu
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 Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 9:00 am Post subject: |
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Maybe I'm being overly innocent here, having never been able to do the casual sex thing, but the one thing I can't do for myself is be held. (Yeah, we know the real thing is WAY better than manual stimulation, but the latter will do for handling--forgive the pun--my "needs" most of the time).
Does anyone have an opposite-sex cuddle buddy? That's what I'd want. A guy who will hold you and be held and exchange backrubs without it necessarily getting sexual. |
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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 2:27 pm Post subject: |
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| storysinger81 wrote: |
Does anyone have an opposite-sex cuddle buddy? That's what I'd want. A guy who will hold you and be held and exchange backrubs without it necessarily getting sexual. |
It's called a gay boyfriend. |
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gyopogirlfromtexas
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Location: Austin,Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Atavistic wrote: |
| gyopogirlfromtexas wrote: |
| Only way to be disease free is to be monogamous and to be tested together. |
Only way to be disease free is to wait until marriage. For some STDs (HPV cancer-type included), men are often symptom free and there is no test for them in males. Or the tests there are are not usually the ones performed.
And then even if you're a virgin and marry a virgin, one of you can cheat on the other and bring something home.
Sex can be more or less risky, but sex is ALWAYS risky. |
I think only 3percent wait until marriage. I saw a survey somewhere. I used to have that fantasy, until I realized it's not too easy. Plus, what if that peron never even gets married.
Yea, the symptom free part is really scary. Makes me paranoid. I knew a girl who got the bad kind of hpv. I hear it goes away on some people, but turns into cancer in some. There are 1000's of different types too. She had to have surgery to remove an ovarian tumor or something, because of it. Her bf cheated and gave it to her. He felt so bad that he cried, but she was saying she expects some action, when she gets home from the hospital.
I was like wtf? What if she regrows another one, and how does she think it's safe to have sex again with someone who gave it to her? Seems like there is no way to be safe from hpv, especially when the people don't know they have it. |
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gyopogirlfromtexas
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Location: Austin,Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Atavistic wrote: |
| gyopogirlfromtexas wrote: |
| I think men care about just performance, but women care about emotion. |
Not the right men.
And for that matter, the right women care about perfromance and not just emotions, too.  |
I forgot the performance part, it's just as important to have the emotional part too. The hard part is, finding a partner who can give you both the emotional sex along with the good performance. It takes awhile to find someone like that. Which makes me not like the f buddy thing.
If I was that horny, I can just do myself. And I think females aren't as interested in it like men are, because it's so easy for us to find a f buddy if we really want one. But what I'm trying to say is, women crave the passionate and emotional sex like in the romance novels, but most guys are more concerned with just getting off. |
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Big_Bird
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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It's very difficult to evade hpv. More than half the sexually active population have it.
http://www.healthywomen.org/healthtopics/humanpapillomavirus
That's why all sexually active women should have regular pap smears, whether they're married, promiscuous or whatever. The one that should always concerne you is chlamydia, because that too is often symptomless, but can have devastating consequences for fertility. So, if you want the option of having children, safe-guard that by always using condoms, even in a serious relationship until you've both been tested.
http://www.cdc.gov/std/Trends2000/chlamydia.htm
Those 2 diseases are part of everyday life now. Marriage is probably not (in most cases) going to save you!
Editted for spelling and formatting.
Last edited by Big_Bird on Wed Aug 01, 2007 3:43 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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twg
Joined: 02 Nov 2006
Location: Getting some fresh air...
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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| gyopogirlfromtexas wrote: |
| most guys are more concerned with just getting off. |
And afterwards we make you all fetch us a beer while we watch football and play poker... |
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Big_Bird
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:39 pm Post subject: |
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| gyopogirlfromtexas wrote: |
| But what I'm trying to say is, women crave the passionate and emotional sex like in the romance novels, but most guys are more concerned with just getting off. |
Men want this too ultimately. |
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the_beaver
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Big_Bird wrote: |
| Men want this too ultimately. |
My ass.
It's always been a source of amusement/wonder to me that people correlate sex and love. |
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Big_Bird wrote: |
| gyopogirlfromtexas wrote: |
| But what I'm trying to say is, women crave the passionate and emotional sex like in the romance novels, but most guys are more concerned with just getting off. |
Men want this too ultimately. |
Romance, schmomance. Tie me up. |
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gyopogirlfromtexas
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Location: Austin,Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Adventurer wrote: |
I am sure many soldiers are doing that over here.
I can say with FWB at least you are being upfront and honest with each other and not playing games. That is a good thing going for it, I'd say. It doesn't seem so different than casual dating. Does it? I suppose FWB is like dating, but you are not expecting a commitment. That's okay with me. |
Yea, my army friends warned me about that. I hear so many of those stories. Some(not all), soldiers acting single while they're in Korea when they really have a wife back home, and then not even letting the girl know when he's leaving and dissapearing. I couldn't do that to anyone, that is so wrong.
I have more respect for men who are upfront that they want a no strings thing. At least they're honest. One of my ex boyfriends just arrived from Korea when we met, and he told me how he dumped his korean gf because he was leaving after being with her for a year. I was like, "you waited until the last minute to tell her?" I dumped him mostly because of that. That's like saying, "I used her for sex, but waited to tell her a few days before leaving, so I can continue to get all I can before really leaving. "
I had one I was considering the f buddy thing with, and his rules were that we'd be exclusive, if one person wants to end it , let the other person know, and if one of us gets emotional, to let him know and see what happens from there. And if I find someone else, to let him know. We had to get to know eachother better to see if we wanted to do it, because we were both not the kind to just jump in, there had to be some kind of trust, friendship, etc, built before we started. He really understood how I wanted to know if there are guys out there who can perform better than my ex. When you spend 3 years with a guy who is done in 3-5 minutes and you have to fake pretty much all the time, you want to finally experience that there are good ones out there. I had a real good one before that bad ex. One of the best performers I've ever had, and I was hoping more guys out there are good like him, and that they're not a small percentage.
He had a really bad sex life with one of his exes too, and she would not give it up when she was mad, he did all the work, and they did the same boring position all the time. And porn was supposedly degrading to her(my ex thought that too and refused to watch it), and you're really thinking that the other person really needs to open up, stop being so closed minded, and they have a lot to watch and learn from porn.
I even had an air force officer friend who married a virgin. They weren't even married a full year and he wanted to cheat already, but I turned him down because I don't want to sleep with someone else's husband. I told him maybe he should teach her how she can perform, and we couldn't think of how, but to just pop in a movie and suggesting things from there. She didn't want to learn from movies, and she didn't realize that she can't lay there like a dead potatoe all the time. But he was too shy to teach her, so he was determined in messing around. |
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gyopogirlfromtexas
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Location: Austin,Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 6:29 pm Post subject: |
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| storysinger81 wrote: |
| Does anyone have an opposite-sex cuddle buddy? That's what I'd want. A guy who will hold you and be held and exchange backrubs without it necessarily getting sexual. |
Cuddling is good for you, makes you calm, salivate, and release serotonin. I was f buddies with my bestfriend, which is an unusual and also a great experience. I was so comfortable around him, we continue to be close friends still, and it never felt awkward, since we were so close already before we turned into very special friends.
We cuddled a lot during movies, after + during performances , and when we slept. He said that sometimes, he enjoys cuddling as much as the real thing. I think it'd be hard to have a cuddle bunny friend without the sexual part, because they wouldn't do that unless they were interested in you. It usually leads to something sexual, especially during the massaging.
One time, I was giving this real hot guy a backrub with his strawberry body warming oil. I left right after the massage, because I was getting tempted. His body was so hard and very sculpted.  He said, "you can't just leave me like this."I can't believe I did it either. I fantasized about him a lot and he was so flawless, but I was scared of being attached. He was unbelievably gorgeous, looked like a chippendale. |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 6:30 pm Post subject: |
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| gyopogirlfromtexas wrote: |
| Adventurer wrote: |
I am sure many soldiers are doing that over here.
I can say with FWB at least you are being upfront and honest with each other and not playing games. That is a good thing going for it, I'd say. It doesn't seem so different than casual dating. Does it? I suppose FWB is like dating, but you are not expecting a commitment. That's okay with me. |
Yea, my army friends warned me about that. I hear so many of those stories. Some(not all), soldiers acting single while they're in Korea when they really have a wife back home, and then not even letting the girl know when he's leaving and dissapearing. I couldn't do that to anyone, that is so wrong.
I have more respect for men who are upfront that they want a no strings thing. At least they're honest. One of my ex boyfriends just arrived from Korea when we met, and he told me how he dumped his korean gf because he was leaving after being with her for a year. I was like, "you waited until the last minute to tell her?" I dumped him mostly because of that. That's like saying, "I used her for sex, but waited to tell her a few days before leaving, so I can continue to get all I can before really leaving. "
I had one I was considering the f buddy thing with, and his rules were that we'd be exclusive, if one person wants to end it , let the other person know, and if one of us gets emotional, to let him know and see what happens from there. And if I find someone else, to let him know. We had to get to know eachother better to see if we wanted to do it, because we were both not the kind to just jump in, there had to be some kind of trust, friendship, etc, built before we started. He really understood how I wanted to know if there are guys out there who can perform better than my ex. When you spend 3 years with a guy who is done in 3-5 minutes and you have to fake pretty much all the time, you want to finally experience that there are good ones out there. I had a real good one before that bad ex. One of the best performers I've ever had, and I was hoping more guys out there are good like him, and that they're not a small percentage.
He had a really bad sex life with one of his exes too, and she would not give it up when she was mad, he did all the work, and they did the same boring position all the time. And porn was supposedly degrading to her(my ex thought that too and refused to watch it), and you're really thinking that the other person really needs to open up, stop being so closed minded, and they have a lot to watch and learn from porn.
I even had an air force officer friend who married a virgin. They weren't even married a full year and he wanted to cheat already, but I turned him down because I don't want to sleep with someone else's husband. I told him maybe he should teach her how she can perform, and we couldn't think of how, but to just pop in a movie and suggesting things from there. She didn't want to learn from movies, and she didn't realize that she can't lay there like a dead potatoe all the time. But he was too shy to teach her, so he was determined in messing around. |
I don't know if I would just go up to some girl and say "Do you want to be my f buddy". It is not my style. Now, if a woman said to me, I think you're nice, a guy I want to be around, but I don't want a heavy relationship, let's just enjoy each other... and she would have to be only seeing me. I don't want sloppy seconds or whatever. A girl who is honest that she wants TLC I can appreciate the honesty. Of course, you can tell if that's what a girl wants if she is getting physical with you.
What about doing that with a girl who is a friend? I think that would mess things up? Plus, one or both could end up liking each other. So the person can't really be a friend, right? I am sure there must have been plenty of simple relationships that blossomed... |
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gyopogirlfromtexas
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Location: Austin,Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Adventurer wrote: |
I don't know if I would just go up to some girl and say "Do you want to be my f buddy". It is not my style. Now, if a woman said to me, I think you're nice, a guy I want to be around, but I don't want a heavy relationship, let's just enjoy each other... and she would have to be only seeing me. I don't want sloppy seconds or whatever. A girl who is honest that she wants TLC I can appreciate the honesty. Of course, you can tell if that's what a girl wants if she is getting physical with you.
What about doing that with a girl who is a friend? I think that would mess things up? Plus, one or both could end up liking each other. So the person can't really be a friend, right? I am sure there must have been plenty of simple relationships that blossomed... |
Yea, it's a complicated process to find one who is worth it. The "hey you wanna be my f buddy," probably will get a guy to get slapped in the face. I think you always should know that person. It can't be a total stranger. Has to be someone you can trust. Because the sex will suck, if it isn't with someone who cares for you. Which makes it very complicated. It only goes well when you're totally honest and straightforward. But, how often do people run into situations like that? I don't think I'll ever have one again, because I don't think I can ever find a guy whom I can trust like my last one. Good men are a rare find. I guess you stay friends until one confesses, then they decide if they want to be together or not. The confessing part is hard sometimes, and I think one person always falls for the other. One is better off just finding a real mate, I think. |
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just another day
Joined: 12 Jul 2007
Location: Living with the Alaskan Inuits!!
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 6:56 pm Post subject: |
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| storysinger81 wrote: |
Maybe I'm being overly innocent here, having never been able to do the casual sex thing, but the one thing I can't do for myself is be held. (Yeah, we know the real thing is WAY better than manual stimulation, but the latter will do for handling--forgive the pun--my "needs" most of the time).
Does anyone have an opposite-sex cuddle buddy? That's what I'd want. A guy who will hold you and be held and exchange backrubs without it necessarily getting sexual. |
awww.... 
i've actually been meeting a lot of American women lately who agree with you. |
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gyopogirlfromtexas
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Location: Austin,Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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| kermo wrote: |
| Big_Bird wrote: |
| gyopogirlfromtexas wrote: |
| But what I'm trying to say is, women crave the passionate and emotional sex like in the romance novels, but most guys are more concerned with just getting off. |
Men want this too ultimately. |
Romance, schmomance. Tie me up. |
There is an Antonio Banderas movie called Tie me up, Tie me down. (atame)I always tried to get it but can't find it. It's about him kidnapping a pornstar whom he's obsessed with. I think I'll try to buy it on ebay since the "tie me up" part reminded me about how I've been looking for that movie forever. |
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