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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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 Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:32 pm Post subject: Could Mr. Right be White? |
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RICHMOND, Virginia (AP) -- For years, Toinetta Jones played the dating game by her mom's strict rule.
Whitney and Roslyn Holcomb watch as their 3-year-old son, Luke, plays.
"Mom always told me, 'Don't you ever bring a white man home,"' recalled Jones, echoing an edict issued by many Southern, black mothers.
But at 37, the Alexandria divorcee has shifted to dating "anyone who asks me out," regardless of race.
"I don't sit around dreaming about the perfect black man I'm going to marry," Jones said.
Black women around the country also are reconsidering deep-seated reservations toward interracial relationships, reservations rooted in America's history of slavery and segregation.
They're taking cues from their favorite stars -- from actress Shar Jackson to tennis pro Venus Williams -- as well as support blogs, how-to books and interracially themed novels telling them it's OK to "date out."
She reflects many black women frustrated as the field of marriageable black men narrows: They're nearly seven times more likely to be incarcerated than white men and more than twice as likely to be unemployed.
Census data showed 117,000 black wife-white husband couples in 2006, up from 95,000 in 2000.
There were just 26,000 such couples in 1960, before a Supreme Court ruling banished laws against mixed marriages.
Black female-white male romance has become a hot topic in black-geared magazines and on Web sites, even hitting the big screen in movies like last year's "Something New."
That film centers on an affluent black woman who falls for her white landscaper, a situation not unlikely as black women scale the corporate ladder, said Evia Moore, whose interracial marriage blog draws 1,000 visitors a day.
It features articles like "Could Mr. Right Be White?" and pictures of couples like white chef Wolfgang Puck and his new Ethiopian wife.
"Black women are refusing to comply with that message about just find yourself a good blue-collar man with a job, or just find a black man," Moore said.
She pointed to low rates of black men in college, a place where women of all races often meet their spouses.
Black women on campus largely are surrounded by non-black men: In 2004, 26.5 percent of black males ages 18 to 24 were enrolled in college versus 36.5 percent of black women that age, according to the American Council on Education's most recent statistics.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/personal/08/06/interracial.dating.ap/index.html |
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mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
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| Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Not a particularly complimentary article if you're a black man. |
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pkang0202
Joined: 09 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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How's this surprising?
Didn't anyone see Jungle Fever? |
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thepeel
Joined: 08 Aug 2004
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| Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:56 pm Post subject: |
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| If Black girls are meeting their future husbands on campus, I wonder if there is lots of Black woman married to Asian men in California, where East Asians can be more than 60% of the student body? |
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ChimpumCallao
Joined: 17 May 2005
Location: your mom
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| Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:59 pm Post subject: |
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| mindmetoo wrote: |
| Not a particularly complimentary article if you're a black man. |
Well, I dont see it as stretching the truth. It is a FACT that black men go to jail, are unemployed, and do not attend uni at higher rates than whites.
If a black woman wants an unemployed man who has never been to jail, she is better off widening her search. We can also bring up the fact that a very large amount of successful black men end up with white women.
If I was a black chick, I'd definitely be open to a little cream in my coffee. Why not? Callously put, why limit yourself to a very unsuccesful demographic in order to maintain cultural and racial purity. Nothing wrong with wanting to find a good partner. |
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darkhorse_NZ
Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Location: South Korea
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| Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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"Whateva happened to fallin' in love with a nigga wit' a bus pass, just 'cos you lovd the nigga"
-Eddie Griffin
i spose that applies to any race... |
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ChimpumCallao
Joined: 17 May 2005
Location: your mom
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| Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| "Mom always told me, 'Don't you ever bring a white man home,"' recalled Jones, echoing an edict issued by many Southern, black mother. |
Its amazing how candidly racist minorites are given the freedom to be. |
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Alyallen
Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Location: The 4th Greatest Place on Earth = Jeonju!!!
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| Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:27 pm Post subject: |
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I have a White Bulgarian boyfriend who I met in college but only been dating for the past year. I went to college in Vermont (where it's 97% White and 3% "other") and live in Korea where unless I'm near a military base, there isn't a Black man to be seen for miles.
I've dated White men in the past but I've never thought that it had anything to do with the availalbility (or lack thereof) of Black men. I feel fortunate that I was not raised to believe that I must perpetuate the "Black" race and that the man I ultimately marry must be Black.
My younger brother, who is a college graduate who is childless, doesn't do drugs and has never been to jail, is going to have his pick of the litter if he chooses to seek out Black ladies.  But he's like me....he just likes whoever interests him regardless of color....
Oh and I should point out that in the United States, Black women outnumber Black men. Oddly enough, this has only happened to Blacks and no other ethnic group has this problem.... |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Alyallen wrote: |
I have a White Bulgarian boyfriend who I met in college but only been dating for the past year. I went to college in Vermont (where it's 97% White and 3% "other") and live in Korea where unless I'm near a military base, there isn't a Black man to be seen for miles.
I've dated White men in the past but I've never thought that it had anything to do with the availalbility (or lack thereof) of Black men. I feel fortunate that I was not raised to believe that I must perpetuate the "Black" race and that the man I ultimately marry must be Black.
My younger brother, who is a college graduate who is childless, doesn't do drugs and has never been to jail, is going to have his pick of the litter if he chooses to seek out Black ladies. But he's like me....he just likes whoever interests him regardless of color....
Oh and I should point out that in the United States, Black women outnumber Black men. Oddly enough, this has only happened to Blacks and no other ethnic group has this problem.... |
Well, you were socialized in an area with mostly Caucasians and thus you had to be more open. Black people socialized in a heavily black area would be more likely to be inculcated at home with ideas that they should only bring a black male home just like someone from a closed white community would not want a black man brought home.
Since black females, especially middle class ones, see that it is much easier to date outside their race then they would be more likely to do as some ladies have done and look outside their race or be open to it in order to have a family, because having a man who is a good man for a woman even if she preferred initally a man from her race would be good, just like if a man didn't really think about dating a black female so much but saw a nice one and they connected well and then decided to date and the rest was history... The stereotype is black females do not date outside of their race in the eyes of many..Of course, something must be done to make more black males live up to their potential as American citizens. Many of the black females would marry more of those males who chose a bad path if they didn't go on that path. |
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Alyallen
Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Location: The 4th Greatest Place on Earth = Jeonju!!!
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| Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Adventurer wrote: |
| Alyallen wrote: |
I have a White Bulgarian boyfriend who I met in college but only been dating for the past year. I went to college in Vermont (where it's 97% White and 3% "other") and live in Korea where unless I'm near a military base, there isn't a Black man to be seen for miles.
I've dated White men in the past but I've never thought that it had anything to do with the availalbility (or lack thereof) of Black men. I feel fortunate that I was not raised to believe that I must perpetuate the "Black" race and that the man I ultimately marry must be Black.
My younger brother, who is a college graduate who is childless, doesn't do drugs and has never been to jail, is going to have his pick of the litter if he chooses to seek out Black ladies. But he's like me....he just likes whoever interests him regardless of color....
Oh and I should point out that in the United States, Black women outnumber Black men. Oddly enough, this has only happened to Blacks and no other ethnic group has this problem.... |
Well, you were socialized in an area with mostly Caucasians and thus you had to be more open. Black people socialized in a heavily black area would be more likely to be inculcated at home with ideas that they should only bring a black male home just like someone from a closed white community would not want a black man brought home.
Since black females, especially middle class ones, see that it is much easier to date outside their race then they would be more likely to do as some ladies have done and look outside their race or be open to it in order to have a family, because having a man who is a good man for a woman even if she preferred initally a man from her race would be good, just like if a man didn't really think about dating a black female so much but saw a nice one and they connected well and then decided to date and the rest was history... The stereotype is black females do not date outside of their race in the eyes of many..Of course, something must be done to make more black males live up to their potential as American citizens. Many of the black females would marry more of those males who chose a bad path if they didn't go on that path. |
Actually, I was raised in NYC in the Bronx in a mostly Caribbean neighborhood. My parents are originally from Jamaica.My mom has never said to me "Don't you dare bring home a White man." I've never felt like I must help carry on the race. I think a home with a lack of bullshit rhetoric has more to do with it than anything. My mom might say "Don't date a man who has children" or something like that but wouldn't toss in a particular race.
It is funny though....here's a list of sorts of the men I've dated....
High School
Half Korean/Half chinese
Half Egyptian/Half Indian
Black (Dominica and Barbados)
Polish
----------------------------------------
College and Beyond
Bulgarian
White American (German Heritage)
New Zealander (Scots heritage)
Bulgarian
In the end, I dated whoever the hell I wanted.... |
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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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| Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:15 pm Post subject: |
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I'm a white chick but I've gone on dates with whites, Africans (northern Africa), Indians, Asians. Oddly, black men have only ever asked me out when I was already involved with someone else.
My mom and dad both dated blacks after their divorced, and the first woman my dad slept with was Indian, so they don't much care who I date, sleep with, or marry. |
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LuckyNomad
Joined: 28 May 2007
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| Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 1:25 am Post subject: |
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| My mother is black/native american, my father is white. They married in 1979 New York. The only women I've ever dated were mixed: white/chinese/hawaiian, okinawan/filipino/hawaiian, white/japanese, hawaiian/pourtugese/white. Obviously race was never an issue. |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:02 am Post subject: |
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| Alyallen wrote: |
| Adventurer wrote: |
| Alyallen wrote: |
I have a White Bulgarian boyfriend who I met in college but only been dating for the past year. I went to college in Vermont (where it's 97% White and 3% "other") and live in Korea where unless I'm near a military base, there isn't a Black man to be seen for miles.
I've dated White men in the past but I've never thought that it had anything to do with the availalbility (or lack thereof) of Black men. I feel fortunate that I was not raised to believe that I must perpetuate the "Black" race and that the man I ultimately marry must be Black.
My younger brother, who is a college graduate who is childless, doesn't do drugs and has never been to jail, is going to have his pick of the litter if he chooses to seek out Black ladies. But he's like me....he just likes whoever interests him regardless of color....
Oh and I should point out that in the United States, Black women outnumber Black men. Oddly enough, this has only happened to Blacks and no other ethnic group has this problem.... |
Well, you were socialized in an area with mostly Caucasians and thus you had to be more open. Black people socialized in a heavily black area would be more likely to be inculcated at home with ideas that they should only bring a black male home just like someone from a closed white community would not want a black man brought home.
Since black females, especially middle class ones, see that it is much easier to date outside their race then they would be more likely to do as some ladies have done and look outside their race or be open to it in order to have a family, because having a man who is a good man for a woman even if she preferred initally a man from her race would be good, just like if a man didn't really think about dating a black female so much but saw a nice one and they connected well and then decided to date and the rest was history... The stereotype is black females do not date outside of their race in the eyes of many..Of course, something must be done to make more black males live up to their potential as American citizens. Many of the black females would marry more of those males who chose a bad path if they didn't go on that path. |
Actually, I was raised in NYC in the Bronx in a mostly Caribbean neighborhood. My parents are originally from Jamaica.My mom has never said to me "Don't you dare bring home a White man." I've never felt like I must help carry on the race. I think a home with a lack of *beep* rhetoric has more to do with it than anything. My mom might say "Don't date a man who has children" or something like that but wouldn't toss in a particular race.
It is funny though....here's a list of sorts of the men I've dated....
High School
Half Korean/Half chinese
Half Egyptian/Half Indian
Black (Dominica and Barbados)
Polish
----------------------------------------
College and Beyond
Bulgarian
White American (German Heritage)
New Zealander (Scots heritage)
Bulgarian
In the end, I dated whoever the hell I wanted.... |
I don't think Jamaicans have the same attitudes as the African Americans of the South or the North. That hostility towards interracial marriage doesn't seem to be quite there. I never got that impression that African Americans and Jamaicans generally have similar attitudes and ways of thinking. I believe Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice are both of Jamaican heritage... The article highlighted areas of the South where there is more of an opposition to mixing. I can understand that having lived for a period of time in the South. Things are changing down there, but too slowly. |
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Alyallen
Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Location: The 4th Greatest Place on Earth = Jeonju!!!
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| Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:24 am Post subject: |
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| Adventurer wrote: |
| Alyallen wrote: |
| Adventurer wrote: |
| Alyallen wrote: |
I have a White Bulgarian boyfriend who I met in college but only been dating for the past year. I went to college in Vermont (where it's 97% White and 3% "other") and live in Korea where unless I'm near a military base, there isn't a Black man to be seen for miles.
I've dated White men in the past but I've never thought that it had anything to do with the availalbility (or lack thereof) of Black men. I feel fortunate that I was not raised to believe that I must perpetuate the "Black" race and that the man I ultimately marry must be Black.
My younger brother, who is a college graduate who is childless, doesn't do drugs and has never been to jail, is going to have his pick of the litter if he chooses to seek out Black ladies. But he's like me....he just likes whoever interests him regardless of color....
Oh and I should point out that in the United States, Black women outnumber Black men. Oddly enough, this has only happened to Blacks and no other ethnic group has this problem.... |
Well, you were socialized in an area with mostly Caucasians and thus you had to be more open. Black people socialized in a heavily black area would be more likely to be inculcated at home with ideas that they should only bring a black male home just like someone from a closed white community would not want a black man brought home.
Since black females, especially middle class ones, see that it is much easier to date outside their race then they would be more likely to do as some ladies have done and look outside their race or be open to it in order to have a family, because having a man who is a good man for a woman even if she preferred initally a man from her race would be good, just like if a man didn't really think about dating a black female so much but saw a nice one and they connected well and then decided to date and the rest was history... The stereotype is black females do not date outside of their race in the eyes of many..Of course, something must be done to make more black males live up to their potential as American citizens. Many of the black females would marry more of those males who chose a bad path if they didn't go on that path. |
Actually, I was raised in NYC in the Bronx in a mostly Caribbean neighborhood. My parents are originally from Jamaica.My mom has never said to me "Don't you dare bring home a White man." I've never felt like I must help carry on the race. I think a home with a lack of *beep* rhetoric has more to do with it than anything. My mom might say "Don't date a man who has children" or something like that but wouldn't toss in a particular race.
It is funny though....here's a list of sorts of the men I've dated....
High School
Half Korean/Half chinese
Half Egyptian/Half Indian
Black (Dominica and Barbados)
Polish
----------------------------------------
College and Beyond
Bulgarian
White American (German Heritage)
New Zealander (Scots heritage)
Bulgarian
In the end, I dated whoever the hell I wanted.... |
I don't think Jamaicans have the same attitudes as the African Americans of the South or the North. That hostility towards interracial marriage doesn't seem to be quite there. I never got that impression that African Americans and Jamaicans generally have similar attitudes and ways of thinking. I believe Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice are both of Jamaican heritage... The article highlighted areas of the South where there is more of an opposition to mixing. I can understand that having lived for a period of time in the South. Things are changing down there, but too slowly. |
True true but we Carib folks are taking over...The native Black population in the U.S. is dropping (Despite the many claims about Blacks being welfare queens with 20 babies  ) so the numbers are buoyed by Blacks from outside the U.S. where race, while "important", isn't the centerpiece of self....if that makes any sense 
Apparently it does...Came across this...
| Quote: |
The black population in the United States is becoming more heterogeneous through immigration. Between 1970 and 2000, the share of foreign-born blacks in the overall black population rose nationwide (to 7.8 percent from 1.3 percent) and in all census regions. Among states, the greatest growth was seen in Florida
Note: "Foreign-born" excludes those born abroad to U.S. parents.
Source: Analysis of U.S. Census Bureau data (2001 CPS and 1970 Census) by William H. Frey, University of Michigan.
The immigrants come from many different countries in the Caribbean and Africa, with the largest percentages from Haiti (18 percent); Jamaica (15 percent); the Dominican Republic (7 percent); Trinidad & Tobago (4 percent); and Ghana, Guyana, other Caribbean countries, and Nigeria (roughly 3 percent each).
These population changes suggest that black Americans, like Hispanics, are a diverse group increasingly identifying more by culture and nationality than by skin color (see Darryl Fears, "A Diverse � and Divided � Black Community," Washington Post, Feb. 24, 2002). |
http://tinyurl.com/ys3e9f |
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Tiger Beer
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:25 am Post subject: |
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When I lived in New York City for two and half years. I dated many kinds of women (and many black women in particular) including Sudanese, Ethiopian, African-Brazilian, Jamaician, Haitian, and African-Colombian.
I really loved dating women of african descent, but never in my entire time was I able to get an African-American woman to give me the time of day. They just are not interested.
Carribbean women are gorgeous and love the accents though, so all was still very good. Ethiopian women as well - wow! |
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