Korean Job Discussion Forums

[buffygrrl1]

So I've been here a little over week and really missing my friends at home. I guess I just finally realized where I am and the fact that I'm going to be here for a while. I hate living by myself its making it so much worse. Does everyone go through this?

[peppermint]

of course. I ran up a half mil phone bill my first month in Korea ( didn't know better than to direct dial home from a land line) You're probably still a little jet lagged and that doesn't help matters.

Explore the new neighborhood, take lots of pics to show your friends and family, and eventually it will start to feel more like home

[princess]

[amberflannery]

i didnt get homesickness in the beginning- its hitting me now, its not that i dislike it here, just i miss them- especially with my dad getting married next month and i'm missing it. eventually though like peppermint said you'll sink into your new life and it will begin to feel like home.

[Adventurer]

[jambonsambo]

ive been here 9 months and i still get bouts of home sickness

try to keep yourself occupied , take up a hobby like a martial art or work on a hobby you already have . Soon youll be so busy youll forget your homesick .Try and get out to meet people there are a lot of people out there in the same boat ,try teach yourself some korean .

[beachbumNC]

one thing that has helped me is to find things here that remind me of home. i'm from North Carolina...so you would think that Korea is wildly different...

but the folks here love pork. it's cooked different, but still, they love the hog meat here. Korea is hot and humid as...well, yeah...hot and humid, just like home. there are green moutains, just like home. the people (at least in my province) come from farmer stock and are down-to-earth folk.

those are just a few examples. i think that if you look for the things about the people in your area that are like the people from your home, you will see that Korea is not so different from home after all.

anyway, that is something that has helped me a lot.

[VanIslander]

a week?

i was so busy and overwhelmed by the teaching and the culture, going out most nights with Koreans, learning so much

took me two months before i even had a free moment to think about back home

you don't need a hobby after one week, you need to be open to learning about Korea and Koreans, how amazingly different things are here

go out with your korean coworkers, adult students, Koreans you meet

(the only two waygooks who i recall lamenting about missing home after a mere week both bailed before they'd been here three months - maybe your homesickness after one week is a sign this isnt for you.... or maybe it's like when you break up with an ex-, of course you'll have fond memories and miss the presence, but the change is for the best, it's expected)

[buffygrrl1]

i have nothing against korea i just am not used to living alone and my korean coworkers dont migle with the whiteys in the school outside of school.

[IncognitoHFX]

I buried my loneliness early on with learning Hangul, learning about Korea, and trying to explore as much as possible. My situation is vastly different though, I have a room mate and had a good network the second I touched down.

I think the most important thing is taking a look around your area (maybe find some people close to you here on Dave's) and trying to meet people who are less into the bar scene and more into the "lets be friends" and "lets explore" thing. May be hard to find though, unfortunately drink is how most Westerners seem to be coping.

[Captain Corea]

[Bondgirl]

www.adventurekorea.com do interesting things on weekends. Lots of people go, they don't cost much and they aren't centred around drinking. Exploring the country and meeting other like-minded people helps. Homesickness takes time to overcome. Really, just time. The first 2 months is always the toughest. I have lived away from home for a long time now, in 4 different countries, and although I don't get homesick, i still suffer a little from mild culture shock everytime I move. Learning how to do the small things in a new country is always exhausting- everything is new to you- language, city, job, friends- and just doing the little things like going to the supermarket or catching a bus is hard.
It's very normal to feel isolated and sad occasionally, and it's important to have a good cry when you need to. You'll get through it, don't be too tough on yourself. This is a cool country, I am sure you'll make good friends and enjoy yourself.

[buffygrrl1]

i've lived away plenty of times just think it feels a little more isolated here

[just another day]

[princess]

I just have to be the first one to tell you this. Don't count on having REAL, I mean TRUE Korean friends. Korean women can be so evil and jealous if you are a pretty girl. And I can see from your avatar that you are quite attractive. Korean women think they are the prettiest girls in the whole freaking world, and when someone like you comes along and breaks the ugly, fat white girl stereotype, some of them will simply hate you for being pretty. It will be a competition of sorts to see who is the most princessy. I have so-called Korean girl friends who hardly ever talk to me or meet me. But then, they will put new pics of themselves on their cyworld pages, and they will send me a message to please come and look at their pics. They are fishing for my compliments and they want me to come and blow up their egos some more. That is what they need us for. They had ratehr hang regularly with their "own" kind.

I have had countless cancellations from so-called Korean friends. recently, I had a so-called Korean friend of mine make plans with me, and she cancelled at the last minute 3 times in a row. The last time, she gave me an excuse about being at the police station with her Mom, and this was like 5 hours before we were to meet. Yeah right. They can come up with all kinds of excuses as to why they can't meet the foreigner. Such as, my Mom is at the police station, my friend was in an accident, etc. Yeah right. It may be true, but I don't believe it's ALWAYS true.

Then, you will find the Koreans who act ashamed of you, and won't meet with you one on one. They will need to have another Korean with the two of you. Then, you will have the ones who keep saying "let's meet", but you never do. I go out alone A LOT here. But, I am used to it. I have been here on and off for 5+ years, so I am used to their little racist, xenophobic ways. It still bothers me, but I can tolerate it.

Many Korean men WON'T date you, even if they like you. Hey, they have mommy/popsy and society to please. Pray tell they date an evil foreeeeen girl. Or, they will date you, string you along for years, and then dump you because their family hates the idea of their preious baby boy with a foreeen girl. I've had both happen to me. I had aguy take me to his house and lie to his family, saying I was his English teacher. he strung me along for years, and I came close to trying to end my life over him. Rcently, I had a guy whom I thought liked me, turn around and choose a Korean girl, but he still can't keep his eyes off me.

And, last but not least, I recently had a guy on cyworld hide my message from the public, like he's ashamed of a foreeen girl. So, I just deleted him from my friends/ilchon list. You don't need me, I don't need you. I am getting better about this stuff. My ex would hurt me so much by putting pics of Korean girls he worked with or was friends with on his cyworld page, but he never put pics of me. I have decided I don't need stuff like this anymore in my life.