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Die Hard 4.SUCK
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contrarian



Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Location: Nearly in NK

PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 9:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Die Hard 4 was great. I love Bruce Willis when his attitude gets going.

A good guy kicking the sh.. out of the bad guys is always so much fun.

Twisted Evil
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Jizzo T. Clown



Joined: 27 Mar 2006
Location: at my wit's end

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 1:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, and he can play the hell out of a harmonica too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctC8PKM_gdE

Shocked Laughing
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babtangee



Joined: 18 Dec 2004
Location: OMG! Charlie has me surrounded!

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mack the knife wrote:
Heat and Miami Vice were directed by Michael Mann, his dirty fingerprints are smeared all over both of them, and they follow precisely the same formula (long buildup leads to climatic firefight)...


That's the biggest load of horse shit I've ever read. I desperately wanted Miami Vice to be as cool as Heat (after the crapfest that was Collateral). Heat had everything a Heist movie could possibly have: A crew of coolheaded but murderous criminals, the psychotic accomplice, the veangeful Mob boss, the persistant Cop, two awesome shoot outs, three bitterly-ending relationships, tension to burn.

Miami Vice had two cops more interested in pu-ssy than their jobs, which just makes cops boooooring. Heat had two seperate primary narratives (the police procedural and the heist thriller) intertwined and headed on a collision course together. Miami Vice and a couple guys thinking about maybe infiltrating some drug ring, in between boat rides and hot showers, that is. MV had no tension and about 5 minutes of suspense (the hostage scene). The only good thing in the movie, besides the aforementioned .50 cal. assassination and the the hostage scene, was Gong Li's aged arse.

It's easy to tell when Michael Mann has got nothing to say. He resorts to boobs and bums. Ever seen The Keep? Snoresville. Boobs and bums. Ever seen Last of the Mohicans? Awesome movie, despite (and in Mann's case, because of) the total lack of boobs.

You know nothing about movies sir. Sure, you know what you live... but you can't even distinguish between different narrative formulas, let alone what's well made and what's not.

In short, You suck as a critic. I win.
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mack the knife



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: standing right behind you...

PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 6:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
You know nothing about movies sir. Sure, you know what you live... but you can't even distinguish between different narrative formulas, let alone what's well made and what's not


Heat sucked but had an epic firefight, which made it awesome.

Miami Vice sucked but had several epic firefights, which made it awesome.

Are you starting to get the big picture here?

Movies with epic firefights RAWK; ergo, I win.
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babtangee



Joined: 18 Dec 2004
Location: OMG! Charlie has me surrounded!

PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mack the knife wrote:
Quote:
You know nothing about movies sir. Sure, you know what you live... but you can't even distinguish between different narrative formulas, let alone what's well made and what's not


Heat sucked but had an epic firefight, which made it awesome.

Miami Vice sucked but had several epic firefights, which made it awesome.

Are you starting to get the big picture here?

Movies with epic firefights RAWK; ergo, I win.


Miami Vice had only one fire fight. The other two scenes were shootings, not firefights (no one shot back). I would watch the 2 shootings and 1 firefight again. That would be me watching Miami Vice for a total of 10 minutes. Because there is no build-up to these events, they just happen. Tension: negative 93. The story has no integrity, so I don't care to see it again.

Heat has three firefights (count em, three): one epic, one modest and one low key. All three of them are awesome. all three of them are lead to by a solid narrative drive. Tension builds as the events near, and it is relieved once the climax is over. This is why Heat Rahks: because the action is intelligently and satisfyingly integrated into the film, and the story's just that cool.

Everything's just tacked on in Miami Vice cause Mann presumedly just wanted to cover his house payments.

Thus the two films are worlds apart, and you lose, like losers do.

And before I forget: Predator 2 is the movie Predator 1 should have been.
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mack the knife



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: standing right behind you...

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 12:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
And before I forget: Predator 2 is the movie Predator 1 should have been


Congratulations! You just neutered yourself!

Only sissy-boys and freaks who watch their movies at the dollar theater liked Predator 2.

Are you looking to buy a sailor suit? There's one on sale in the buy/sell/trade forum.
Quote:

I would watch the 2 shootings and 1 firefight again. That would be me watching Miami Vice for a total of 10 minutes.


When that chick explained to that guy exactly how she was going to splatter his medulla oblongata all over the trailer wall and then proceeded to do just that....those 30 seconds were better than the entire movie Heat.

Game. Set. Match.
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babtangee



Joined: 18 Dec 2004
Location: OMG! Charlie has me surrounded!

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 4:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mack the knife wrote:
Quote:
And before I forget: Predator 2 is the movie Predator 1 should have been


Congratulations! You just neutered yourself!

Only sissy-boys and freaks who watch their movies at the dollar theater liked Predator 2.

Are you looking to buy a sailor suit? There's one on sale in the buy/sell/trade forum.


Sorry, I worded that wrong: "Predator 2 is the movie Predator 1 would have been if they removed all the homoerotica."


Quote:

I would watch the 2 shootings and 1 firefight again. That would be me watching Miami Vice for a total of 10 minutes.


Quote:
When that chick explained to that guy exactly how she was going to splatter his medulla oblongata all over the trailer wall and then proceeded to do just that....those 30 seconds were better than the entire movie Heat.

Game. Set. Match.


Bah. Clearly you just love the film for the nudy-man shower scenes (what we will from now refer to as The Predator Connection).

I'll take my excessive masculinity fully clothed, thank you very much.
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mack the knife



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: standing right behind you...

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 5:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Bah. Clearly you just love the film for the nudy-man shower scenes (what we will from now refer to as The Predator Connection).

I'll take my excessive masculinity fully clothed, thank you very much


Who to the what now? You dare push the specter of homo-eroticism into my corner when you're clearly down on your knees in front of the groinal area of the movie that stars the queen of homo-erotica, Val Kilmer? That's like claiming you watched Brokeback Mountain because of the beautiful story.

The shame of it...
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babtangee



Joined: 18 Dec 2004
Location: OMG! Charlie has me surrounded!

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 2:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aways enjoyed your posts, sir. For that reason alone I will allow your evasions and deflections to pass.

May all manly movies leave you feeling virile and invigorated.
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Jizzo T. Clown



Joined: 27 Mar 2006
Location: at my wit's end

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 2:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The cast says it all:

Heat


Al Pacino
Robert De Niro
Val Kilmer
Jon Voight
Tom Sizemore
Ashley Judd
Natalie Portman


Miami Vice


Colin Farrell
Jamie Foxx
Li Gong

I don't care who you are, Pacino and DeNiro (not to mention Ashley Judd and a young Natalie Portman)in the same movie=great film making.

fwiw, I liked the first Predator much better, for the cheesiness (not in terms of story). Plus Arnie makes a better action hero than Danny Glover.
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mack the knife



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: standing right behind you...

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
May all manly movies leave you feeling virile and invigorated


Indeed.

And, cheers. Smile
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