Korean Job Discussion Forums

kermo · Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 11:41 pm Post subject: Addicted to Gossip

What's your policy on gossip? Are you strict with yourself? Do you relish it?

As for me, I am a bit chatty about other people's lives, but I rarely dig for information about friends/strangers/celebrities, and I have a few ground-rules that I try to follow...

--Don't share an anecdote that would inflict undeserved harm
--Don't share an anecdote that I wouldn't tell in front of the people involved
--Don't share an anecdote that has been disclosed with the promise of discretion.

I don't always think before I speak though, and have probably broken these rules from time to time. Sometimes my attempts to tell stories anonymous turn out just pathetic, i.e., "...then Maria said 'Kermo, don't tell anyone but... oh. Sorry. I'm not allowed to finish this story.'"

I do think it's petty and small to discuss other people's business too much, and I try to refrain, but I've also got a weakness for a great story, a tragic human flaw, or a bit of news that keeps me feeling plugged into the community.

Nevertheless, reading this story made me feel a LOT better about myself in that regard:

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2007/09/03/gossip/index.html
(You may have to go through an ad feature to get to the story. I recommend reading the comments afterwards too.)

safeblad · Joined: 17 Jul 2006

One of the things i hated in Jeju was the fact that because of the small amount of foreigners there, everybody chatted about everyone elses business.

I hated it even more that i sometimes found myself doing the same, it was only the times when someone i didnt like showed other people her part and similar situations like that though. It wasnt habitual.

Some farking tard on Jeju even made a myspace page just to chat about people all over the internet, said person then claimed it to be an 'anthropological experiement', that was around the time I stopped spending time in the community.

*edited for stupidity*

mole · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Location: Act III

STOP ppl. I'm gonna pee or something. heh.

butlerian · Joined: 04 Sep 2006 Location: Korea

bejarano-korea · Joined: 13 Dec 2006

If I don't like the person, yeah I just slag them off with everyone else. If I like them and they are being talked about I just go 'well I think he is allright'

Jizzo T. Clown · Joined: 27 Mar 2006 Location: at my wit's end

My policy has always been this: If I wouldn't say it in front of the person we're talking about, I don't say it. But then, there isn't much I wouldn't say to anyone.

bejarano-korea · Joined: 13 Dec 2006

mole · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Location: Act III

I love Dave's. Can always find something to keep me amused.
Generally involving kermo.

Jizzo T. Clown · Joined: 27 Mar 2006 Location: at my wit's end

Speaking of gossip, I hear that one of the posters here is using an avatar from the Shirt Tales!

SeoulShakin · Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Location: Seoul

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Gosh my Gramma was smart. Hardly original, but smart.

I try not to say things about other people that I wouldn't like said about myself. I try not to say things to other people that I wouldn't say about the individual in question. If something is said in secret, it stays in secret.

I'm hardly perfect, and I have slipped accidently (or been tricked.... yes that can happen - ex. "oh yeah I know about that..." then you speak and it's "OHHHHH I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!!" - that's no fun).

I do try though.

storysinger81 · Joined: 25 Mar 2007 Location: Daegu

I think I accidentally started a rumor about someone I hated in high school because I was joking that he probably was a coke head in Vegas by now, and then a few months later I heard that story told back to me as gossip. Whoops!

My boss at my high school in the US was a BIG gossip, which could have caused problems if he hadn't been so obvious about it. When you learn who the biggest gossip is, your life can be pretty easygoing. Like when I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years and didn't feel like telling everyone the story over and over again at work (it was still fresh and would cause crying at random, unexpected moments, which I hate doing in front of co-workers), I just told my boss. Within two periods, everyone in our department knew without me having to break out the song-and-dance comedy routine over a difficult personal issue that I usually do so that I don't drag others down.

Gossip is often evil and petty, but it does have its place. I try not to participate, but there are some stories that are just too juicy not to hear and others you unintentionally share. It kind of depends on the intent. I try to avoid hurting others as much as I can.

oneofthesarahs · Joined: 05 Nov 2006 Location: Sacheon City

Gossip is obsolete. That's what God created Facebook for.

SeoulShakin · Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Location: Seoul

kermo · Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:28 am Post subject:

I think people gossip for different reasons. When I talk about other people, I try not to slag them off. If I'm angry at them, I'll try to cut them some slack and focus on my personal frustration, not their apparent short-comings. I hope I'm just as likely to discuss how amazing someone is.

People are interesting, goddamnit. They do surprising, horrifying and wondering things. They do things that affect me and my community. I think it would be interesting to get a finer definition of gossip and what different people find acceptable.

butlerian · Joined: 04 Sep 2006 Location: Korea