Korean Job Discussion Forums

[The evil penguin]

[squat toilet]

My go-to mental wank subject has been the same person for the last 6 months. The metamorphosis of that fantasy, however, is rather disturbing.

See, it's a 22 year old chick that works at my company. Almost all the broads that work here fit the typical gangam princess mold (5-6 face, 0-1 personality). Unlike a lot of the slap dick asiaphile losers on this site who slag western women and praise K-chicks, I find 99% of korean women to be a 5 or 6 at best (mediocre). Not this one -- she is the only korean girl in my 5 years in this country I would label a 9 or 9.5 (celebrities included). Her face is kind of a Jessica Alba meets Katie Holmes hybrid (if its possible to even picture that) and her body is a 19 year old Elle McPherson meets...uhm....well...bigger boobs. It's sick! Her ass sits up all perky-like and doesn't taper off like most asian girls -- you know, the way the bottom of the dumper just kinda melts and disappears into the legs without so much as a goodbye. I hate that. There needs to be clear differentiation damnit!

Anywhoo, I would make a point of making small talk with this chick once a day and truly believed I was making progress. Each day after work I would frolick home and spank it joyously with toddler-like glee.

Then, all of a sudden, she completely stopped chatting with me. No coffee room flirting, no smiles across the office floor, not even a response to my msn instant messages. I talked to one of her guy friends I knew fairly well and got the scoop. The older Korean managers didn't like her talking to me so much and ordered her to stop. To make matters even worse, I found out from the guy and a few other people (once I started to really dig to find some answers) that this girl had become famous for being the human load rag for upper managers at the company. Each night she would attend a different business dinner, fire back some soju, and cap off the evening getting railed at a love hotel by a random 55 year old adjossi with 3 kids. Lovely.

What's weird is that i still jerk off thinking about her but now its a bitter, hate-filled grudge spank. There is nothing at all positive about the experience. I put a death grip on my Breakfast Burrito and violently start tugging away like im trying to set a world record in one armed pull-the-rope-to-lift-the-bucket-out-of-the-well competition. Sometimes I even biatch slap the head of my cramstick and call him names -- even though the situation isn't at all his fault. Poor guy.

When i finally discharge my pickle juice, the scream i emit is a mix of pleasure, pain, agony and hatred. It's a quick and loud "Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh" followed immediately by sobbing. I then crawl into the shower, all jizzy and bloody, and curl up into the fetal position and weep.

That, right there, is my saturday night.

[Pligganease]

[Draz]

^^ Wow.

I've only fantasized about one person that I actually know. The rest is all celebrities. And "other".

[kermo]

[Draz]

[storysinger81]

Draz,

I think when it comes to "fantasy" there is no "weird" (ok, I'll admit I'm a bit disturbed by squat toilet and hope never to encounter him in real life without significant amounts of therapy, but I'd buy his book--what a great read).

I know exactly what you mean about feeling uncomfortable doing that to someone else.

How's this for a weird confession: When I'm single, like now, my fantasies tend to be pretty monogamous (like the same guy for a couple weeks/months, then switch), but whenever I've been in a relationship, they start getting... interesting...

[Pligganease]

[storysinger81]

It varies... but near the end of my last relationship I had this recurring fantasy involving Colin Firth (from the A&E Pride and Prejudice), Rupert Everett (the most beautiful gay man ever), and Jeri Ryan (yes... seven of nine... I'm a bit of a trekkie) all trying their darndest to please me... at the same time. Sometimes Portia di Rossi (first noticed her on Ally McBeal, but more recently she was on Arrested Development) or Shakira (Latin/American pop star) would join in the fun.

So apparently I have a thing for tall brits with dark, curly hair and shapely blondes with acting or dancing talent.

But, yes, I'm straight.

[squat toilet]

[itaewonguy]

I call on all for help when im trying to knock one out without the use of a tv or pc...

[Pligganease]

[Atavistic]

[squat toilet]

[Pligganease]