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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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xingyiman
Joined: 12 Jan 2006
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 Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 3:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Paji eh Wong wrote: |
This thread seems to have become a graveyard for guys who don't have their "heads in the game". I can say that because that was me, once upon a time. It took me 1.5 years to learn how to get a leg over properly. Then again, I'm a slow learner ...
Keep at it. You will either find what you want or find you can't get it here, and exit the scene. |
I think anybody can "succeed" here, it's just a matter of persistance and putting up with skewed odds. Not altogether different from what we are used to back in the West. I just always got tired of the mantra from posters on here constantly suggesting that guys who didn't have a GF 10 mins after landing in Korea were life's losers and burger flippers anywhere else. It took me about 1 1/2 month to find a GF in Korea once I got there. But she wasn't Korean and we are now happily married. I never held up a steady relationship with a Korean woman. In my view there was just entirely too much politics and head games in any arrangement. I simply didn't have the patience to see anything through. I have traveled throughout Asia and I know that there are way easier ways to get the same quality of woman that is in Korea(with respect to physical features) elsewhere so I must ask myself "why go Korean?" Nobody and I mean nobody gets a GF easy here and forking over money to a prostitute doesn't count. |
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Mix1
Joined: 08 May 2007
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| Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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The OP writes... "And I've decided to enjoy the experience even if I fail."
yes, you need to have this attitude... because sometimes things just don't naturally work out...and it doesn't mean you have failed anything. I think this attitude is particularly essential in Korea, since as a westerner there will be times in the dating scene you will be treated as essentially subhuman...while other times you will be treated like a mini celebrity or novelty. Just go with the flow and good luck. |
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pkang0202
Joined: 09 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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Korean women give out their phone numbers like we give out compliments. I think the new guys coming to Korea don't realize that getting a girl's phone number means nothing here.
I remember this one guy I know, he was so excited because he got like 5 girls' phone numbers in one night.
Not a single one of them called/texted him back. I told him "Welcome to Korea."
In my personal experience, Korean women are just too much trouble. They like to flirt and say things like "we should go out to dinner" or "we should go hang out". All of it is lies. Nothing but mind games. |
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Morton
Joined: 06 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 5:19 pm Post subject: |
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Women in general can be a tricky bunch to deal with. Korean women are no exception. Everyone has, or at one point will get burned by someone. All i'm hearing on this board is complaining sad sacks.
Instead of taking the girls number give her yours. And tell her straight, if you want to meet up get in touch. If not don't waste my time.
When you go out make her pay for at least one thing. If you buy dinner she should pay for the cinema.
If she doesn't like it then move onto the next girl. |
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Oreovictim
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
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| Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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| OneWayTraffic wrote: |
| Oreovictim wrote: |
| JZer wrote: |
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1. "You are so handsome. You look like a movie star."
Meaning - Nothing.
2. "Do you have a girlfriend?" (Said by a female who you would obviously be interested in )
Meaning - Nothing
3. "I have a friend I want to introduce you to."
Meaning - Nothing |
Add one more to that:
4. She gives you her number(unsolicited). One would think that would mean she wants you to call her but that is not often so in Korea. |
Add even one more to that:
5. "My name's so-and-so. I'd like to improve my TOEIC score. We should get together sometime."
Meaning - Her name's so-and-so. She'd like to improve her TOEIC score. She'd like to get together sometime. |
and another:
I want to talk to you.
Meaning- Since we're in the subway and that book you're reading can't be interesting, how about a free 20minute English lesson?
I've gone through so many people wanting free subway/bus English that I have taken up the Korean approach when someone's trying to sell them something. I keep my eyes on my UMPC or simply say: "I'm sorry, I'm busy." or "You want to speak better English? Try a hagwon." Works every time. I'd much rather play Baldur's gate than make meaningless conversation with a stranger who's basically using me. |
Yeah, I get tired of that crap, too. If I'm at a store and a cute little 2nd grader wants to talk to me, I'll be really friendly to him/her. But when an adult gives me the whole, "I want to work on my English-e. Let's be friends." I just get to the point where I say that I'm busy. There's an adult hagwon near my place. I should get a bunch of their business cards and just start handing them out to people who bug me. |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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| PeterDragon wrote: |
| I've got ten months left in my contract. I've had an ugly break up or two, some with lasting consequences, but it's always seemed worth it once the dust settles. |
 yep nothing more entertaining for all concerned than a complicated Korean workplace romance.. navigating the politics and logistics alone are deserving of a medal.I recommend them, just to pass the time. |
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Mix1
Joined: 08 May 2007
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| Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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| pkang0202 wrote: |
Korean women give out their phone numbers like we give out compliments. I think the new guys coming to Korea don't realize that getting a girl's phone number means nothing here.
I remember this one guy I know, he was so excited because he got like 5 girls' phone numbers in one night.
Not a single one of them called/texted him back. I told him "Welcome to Korea."
In my personal experience, Korean women are just too much trouble. They like to flirt and say things like "we should go out to dinner" or "we should go hang out". All of it is lies. Nothing but mind games. |
Don't be so jaded...only 99% of it is lies. 
And the number thing... I gotta agree. Last week I was on the subway and a girl sits next to me and we start talking. At first I thought nothing of it, but she seemed really interested and was telling me all this info about her, etc. So I figured I'd ask for her number. I got it, she was like..."call me." I texted...no response. I'm guessing it's called "Free Mini English Lesson"
This kind of thing happens a lot. No big deal...I actually had a date that night with someone else, so I wasn't too bothered. but it's easy to get jaded ...this is not unique to Korea though...but the K-Girls just do it sooo well.
It's funny...Women love to call men "players" but many of these same women are constantly getting offers from men, giving out their numbers, and weeding the men out constantly. In the process of doing this...they lie...while acting innocent, pure and vulnerable. It is natural to them. Yeah, weeding out potential mates (aka... "a healthy, rich man whom I can control...but I'll take what I can get...for now" )while looking to secure a mate is natural in the animal kingdom, but at least there it comes without lies and hypocracy.
"Do Korean women play hard to get?" ...that is just scratching the surface. |
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JZer
Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Location: South Korea
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 3:33 pm Post subject: |
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| In my personal experience, Korean women are just too much trouble. They like to flirt and say things like "we should go out to dinner" or "we should go hang out". All of it is lies. Nothing but mind games. |
My real question is why do Korean women like to play these mind games? What is the point of going out with a guy and telling him that you want to meet again and go out with his friends? What do women gain by doing this? |
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King Baeksu
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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| JZer wrote: |
| My real question is why do Korean women like to play these mind games? What is the point of going out with a guy and telling him that you want to meet again and go out with his friends? What do women gain by doing this? |
Because these kind of women are vampires. Because this kind of behavior is more of a turn-on for them than actual sex. Because Korean women generally lack power in Korean society, and this is the only form of power that they can excercise in daily life.
If it's any consolation, Korea is not the only country where this phenomenon occurs. |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:31 am Post subject: |
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Nationalism/Xenophobia is the basis of all korean thinking and action. second on that list is an obsession with social status.
I arrived at that conclusion early on and it serves very well to explain all their BS. Including the nonsensical dating game here. |
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PeterDragon
Joined: 15 Feb 2007
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| Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:00 am Post subject: |
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Since this thread's still alive (!), I'll give y'all an update. I asked her out--- in Korean. She giggled, literally ran away, and hid from me the rest of the day. She texted me in the evening to let me know that she needed more time to decide whether her answer would be "yes" and to ask again later. She texted me again today to say she missed seeing me at work. (I been sick...)  
Like I said, if a woman treated me like this in Wisconsin, I'd be splitting by now. And if I should happen to meet a woman who DOESN'T seem to have massive control issues before I'm able to "close the deal" here, I'll be dropping my co-worker like a hot potato. Why? Well, to quote King Baeksu....
| King Baeksu wrote: |
Because these kind of women are vampires. Because this kind of behavior is more of a turn-on for them than actual sex. Because Korean women generally lack power in Korean society, and this is the only form of power that they can exercise in daily life.
If it's any consolation, Korea is not the only country where this phenomenon occurs. |
But, once again--- I do kinda like her, this is a good learning experience. Also I've gotten 100 or so phone numbers since high school. I only ever called three of the girls whose number I got. Learning to weather this girl's mixed signals can only prove to even out my karma.
I've actually never been persistent with a woman in my life, (only going out with girls that give me an immediate, enthusiastic "yes") so this experiment may teach me a few lessons/tricks that are applicable in my own culture as well. |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:08 am Post subject: |
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| PeterDragon wrote: |
| this is a good learning experience.. |
best way to view it ..as practise.After a few years here you get better at knowing their BS. Well done, anyhow.. keep shifting the ball into her court.
As a general rule: if you like them they don't want to know. if you don't, then you can't get rid of them. |
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King Baeksu
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:36 am Post subject: |
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| PeterDragon wrote: |
| Since this thread's still alive (!), I'll give y'all an update. I asked her out--- in Korean. She giggled, literally ran away, and hid from me the rest of the day. She texted me in the evening to let me know that she needed more time to decide whether her answer would be "yes" and to ask again later. She texted me again today to say she missed seeing me at work. (I been sick...) |
Dude, she texted you which in this case is Korean for "I want your big pepper, despite all evidence to the contrary."
That said, she's acting like she's 12 years old so if you hook up with her, you'll probably charged for statutory rape.
I think she's waiting for you to be a man and overpower her. Get her drunk and into the video bang and you'll be good to go. |
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PeterDragon
Joined: 15 Feb 2007
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| Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:40 am Post subject: |
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This thread just became snitch board material.  |
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mt01ap
Joined: 04 Nov 2006
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| Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:05 am Post subject: |
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| best of luck to you PD, practice makes perfect |
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