Korean Job Discussion Forums

Atavistic · Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 2:01 pm Post subject:

This isn't just "a Nigerian thing" or whatever.

Case in point: the American military guy who keeps asking me out on dates even though I have a boyfriend.

Case in point: the creepy French Canadian dude who wanted to know if I was serious enough about my boyfriend to not cheat on him.

Case in point: the weird don't-know-where-he-was-from-looked-like-middle-east man on the orange line who flat stared--no, leered--at me for 30 mins on the subway one day.

On the flip side, years ago a Nigerian coworker asked me out. He was freakin' sexy as hell, really dark skin, almost blue, blindingly white teeth, nice skin. And he was a nice guy, too. Unfortunately, I was already in a relationship. I told him so, he dropped it and acted normal every other time I saw him.

When I was 18, I had a Nigerian customer from the clothing store I work at offer me $1000 for university fees. I thought he wanted "something." He didn't want anything, just gave me the gift, no strings attached.

Men everywhere can be assholes or princes. Most are just dolts. Wink

Sorry it happened to you, OP. Hope you feel a little better after some sleep.

SuperFly · Joined: 09 Jul 2003 Location: In the doghouse

PeterDragon · Joined: 15 Feb 2007

Three pieces of advice, Seoulshakin':

1) If you get any trouble from Nigerians in the future, you don't NEED to know Korean to get help. The sight of a smaller attractive woman screaming in horror as she gestures at a larger African man should mobilize most Koreans. Harness the power of the racism and sexism that surrounds you.

2) In case it doesn't go without saying, there's no need for cultural relativism here. "I have a boyfriend" should send a clear message in any culture. Even the ultimate neanderthal patriarch should at least respect the territory of your male mate.

3) If you measure humanity by the behavior of the Nigerians, the world will seem like a dark place indeed.*

*Lest someone jump down my throat for making a statement that's too general--- I will admit I have met some cool Nigerians in Korea, and I had some fairly nice Nigerian friends in Minneapolis. That doesn't change the fact that SOME Nigerians seem to have the market cornered on Internet scams and general creepiness.

Pligganease · Joined: 14 Sep 2004 Location: The deep south...

flakfizer · Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 4:05 pm Post subject:

Drunken Monkey · Joined: 17 Jan 2007

Hi SS, sorry to hear about your incident.
I dont think it is about guys taking a hint i just think you met a freak...or perhaps a predator...who knows?

You did the right thing in going to the restaraunt too many people run straight home, it is important that women (or guys for that matter) realise, if you feel in danger go somewhere public.

JongnoGuru · Joined: 25 May 2004 Location: peeing on your doorstep

SeoulShakin · Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Location: Seoul

Superfly - those dogs are gorgeous. My mother's best friend had a Grand Pyrenese and it was the friendliest thing I've ever met. It's about the size of a small horse though, and since it was such a rare breed, she had to travel out of province to go to a special vet for it. It was huge. Kind of a like a fluffy, friendly polar bear. She had one of those fancy, purebread, dog show names for it too. Couldn't really pronounce it.

Everyone else, thanks for all the support offered on here. Last night, my roommate came back from her visa run in Osaka, and my boyfriend came over. I think I was a little more shaken up than I'd admitted to, because when my boyfriend called me back (after I tried phoning in the restaurant), my story came out amidst sobs. I don't cry often, and usually try to avoid such spectacles. But, I was bloody terrified last night, and came home to an empty apartment, and I wasn't sure if he had indeed followed me. So the tears came, and he came over for the night, and he and my roommate sympathized, let me vent, and agreed that the guy was way out of line. It felt good to get it off my chest here on Dave's when I first got home, but even better to get it off my chest in person.

Thanks for the kind words though.

regicide · Joined: 01 Sep 2006 Location: United States

pest2 · Joined: 01 Jun 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada

twg · Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Location: Getting some fresh air...

pest2 · Joined: 01 Jun 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada

Its not totally the same, but I know someone who chats on yahoo sometimes... One time, she went to pee and I sat at her computer while she was logged in. I went to the "china7" chatroom. My friends ID is like, "Canadagrl" or something like that, so ppl would know she's a woman.

Within 10 seconds, I got 5 PMs from Indians, Africans, and Pakistani guys telling me Im very sexy and to send a picture...

Someone else speculated that it has to do with the aggressive courting rituals of those countries, and I guess that's probably right.

Those countries are pretty conservative and women should be seen as chaste and sexually un-inviting. I believe that even if a woman likes a guy in such a society, she should not consent to going out with a guy on the guy's first try. So, it's a natural thing for the guy to have to keep pluggin away... Just like the guy in SS's story?

merkurix · Joined: 21 Dec 2006 Location: Not far from the deep end.

SeoulShakin · Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Location: Seoul

Tiger Beer · Joined: 07 Feb 2003

I know another woman who has had some pretty creepy guys follow her from the subway to home as well.

I don't exactly know any solutions.

BUT I was thinking... maybe it would be helpful for women to carry some paper with these words written in Korean:

"A STRANGER IS FOLLOWING ME.
HELP ME GET RID OF HIM" written in Korean.

I am sure many people would respond to help if the message was conveyed like that in Korean. Plus you could just show the paper to anyone.

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(Superfly - can the picture be reduced?. Can't read this page without heavy scrolling to the right. Cool looking dog though!)