Korean Job Discussion Forums

[samd]

A friend of mine claimed to have made up:

Q: What do you get when you cross a sheep with a horse?

A: Socks.

[jindodog]

i dont get it

[aldershot]

a korean, a jew, and a dutchman walk into a bar...

[mole]

[Bernard_Carleton]

Mr. Kim goes to L.A. He applies for his visa, passes his interview, and makes the move. He tries to get into the movie business but fails miserably. He sells his fancy clothes and moves to East Hollywood. He opens a grocery store, but it is robbed, almost constantly. One night, whilst pining away for his lost life, he is again held up by a huge man in a black sky mask, waving a gun and acting menacingly. He asks for the money and Mr. Kim wearily gives it to him. Then he decides not to take it anymore, he demands the thief return the money. The thief responds with an inappropriate amount of violence and shoots Mr. Kim in the belly then runs out. Mr. Kim, hands wrapped around his innards spill and slip through his fingers, follows the thief out into the street, coughing up blood-fleched mucus and screaming for him to stop. He stumbles out onto the street and into the path of a muarading band of gang-bangers who hit him full on, sending his body tumbling head over heels and fountaining blood and excrement like a pinwheel from hell. He lands with a sickening thud, bones breaking, nerves severing. He can feel his innards die as he lies there in slowly receding agony. The thief turns at the sound and rushes back for a closer look. "Wow, hey.. dude how are you?"

"Fine thank you and you?"

** edited for spelling errors **

[Masta_Don]

^^^^^ Well fuck you!

The same Korean as before, with the same English skills is now driving. Without all the bumper to bumper traffic he starts to pick up speed, careens over the guardrail and down an embankment. The car rolls three times but ends up overturned. Fortunately he was wearing his seatbelt so he's still strapped into the car but badly bruised. He needs medical attention soon. Someone up on the road saw the accident and called 911. The ambulance arrives within minutes and the paramedics rush down to the banged up car below. They peer inside at the man, woozy from loss of blood, and ask, "How are you?" The Korean looks back at them and barely whispers, "I'm fine, thank you. And you?"

[Bernard_Carleton]

I just wanted to update it for these more violence-numbed times. You know... "CSI that mofo"

[Rapacious Mr. Batstove]

What do you call four Koreans driving too fast in an 0range Hyundai?





























The Gooks of Hazard

[Young FRANKenstein]

[jindodog]

thanks

[tomato]

It took me a few years to collect these:

가도 가도 끝이 없는 것은? 하늘
What goes on and on with no end? The sky.

저녁에 피었다가 아침에 지는 것은? 이불
What unfolds in the evening and folds in the morning? A blanket.

치면 칠수록 소리가 큰 것은? 북
What makes a louder noise the harder you hit it? A drum.

바람 불어 좋은 때는? 연 날릴 때
When do we like for the wind to blow? When we are flying kites.

올라가면 닫히고 내려오면 열리는 것은? 지퍼
What opens when it goes up and closes when it goes down? A zipper.

물 속에 들어가면 보이지 않는 물건은? 유리
What disappears when it is placed in water? Glass.

달리지 않으면 날지 못하는 것은? 비행기
What cannot fly if it doesn't run? An airplane.

보고도 못 먹는 떡은? 그림의 떡
What kind of rice cake can you look at but not eat? A rice cake in a picture.

왼손으로 못 드는 것은? 왼손
What is impossible to touch with your left hand? Your left hand.

해를 무척 싫어하는 사람은? 눈사람
What kind of person hates the sun? A snowman.

이 세상에서 가장 어려운 일은? 칼로 물 베기
What is the most difficult task in the world? To cut water with a knife.

더운 때는 옷을 잔뜩 입고 추울 때는 옷을 벗어버리는 것은? 나무
What dresses when it is hot and strips when it is cold? A tree.

세상에서 가장 긴 것은)? 길
What is the longest thing in the world? A road.

얼굴은 보이지 않고 목소리만 들리는 것은? 전화
What has a voice but no face? A telephone.

서서 자는 것은? 말
What sleeps standing up? A horse.

자기만 갈 수 있는 나라는? 꿈나라
What land can you only travel to by yourself? Dream Land.

바다와 물 사이에 있는 것은? 와
What is between land and sea? "And."

빛을 보면 죽어버리는 것은? 필름
What dies when it sees light? Film.

손님이 오면 먼저 나가서 인사하는 것은? 개
Who is the first to come and greet any visitor who comes? The dog.

손 없이 나무를 흔드는 것은? 바람
What shakes the trees without laying a hand? The wind.

입 끝에서 꽃 피는 것은? 파
What is a flower which blooms at the end of a mouth? An onion.

아침저녁으로 바쁘게 움직이는 것은? 문
What keeps busy moving from morning to evening? A door.

말없이 가르치기만 하는 선생님은? 책
What teacher teaches without saying a word? A book.

볼 때는 안 보이고 안 볼 때는 보이는 것은? 막
What do you see when you can't see and not see when you can see? A curtain.

아기를 안고 다니는 것은? 캥거루
What goes to and fro while hugging a baby? A kangaroo.

이 세상에서 가장 빠른 것은? 생각
What is the fastest thing in the world? Thought.

아래로 못 가고 위로만 오르는 것은? 연기
What can only go up and not down? Smoke.

밝은 낮이나 어두운 밤에도 보이지 않는 것은? 마음
What cannot be seen day or night? The mind.

물 속에 들어가도 젖지 않고 불 속에 들어가도 타지 않는 것은? 그림자
What doesn't get wet in water or burn in fire? A shadow.

바람이 불면 춤을 추는 것은? 나무
What dances when the wind blows? A tree.

보이지 않으나 없으면 죽는 것은? 공기
We can't see it but we would die without it. What is it? Air.

마셔도 배부리지 않은 것은? 공기
We drink it but it doesn't fill us up. What is it? Air.

시계는 시계인데 낮에만 가는 시계는? 해시계
What kind of clock works only in the daytime? A sundial.

언제나 같은 길을 다니는 것은? 기차
What always travels down the same road? A train.

[tomato]

Sorry, I can't translate these jokes because they are puns:

가지는 가지인데 먹지 못하는 것은? 나뭇가지, 한 가지
(가지 = eggplant, branch, kind)

사람이 즐겨 먹는 피는? 커피
(피 = blood, 커피 = coffee)

불은 불인데 빛이 없는 불은? 이불
(불 = fire, 이불 = blanket)

하늘에 사는 개는? 안개
(개 = dog, 안개 = fog)

방은 방인데 잘 수 없는 방은? 가방
(방 = room, 가방 = bag)

가장 빠른 새는? 눈 깜짝할 새
(새 = bird, interval of time)

병중에서 아름다운 병은? 꽃병
(병 = bottle, 꽃병 = flower vase)

닭은 닭인데 먹을 수 없는 닭은? 까닭
(닭 = chicken, 까닭 = reason)

약은 약인데 먹지 못하는 약은? 구두약
(약 = medicine, 구두약 = shoe polish)

파는 파인데 못 먹는 파는? 노파
(파 = onion, 노파 = old woman)

문은 들어갈 수 없는 문은? 신문
(문 = door, entrance, 신문 = newspaper)

개는 개인데 움직이지 않는 개는? 산 고개
(개 = dog, 고개 = mountain trail)

금은 금인데 사고파는 금이 아닌 것은? 손금
(금 = gold, 손금 = lines of the palm)

장은 장인데 못 먹는 장은? 사장
(장 = soy sauce, 사장 = president of a company)

밤은 밤인데 먹지 못하는 밤은? 어두운 밤
(밤 = night, chestnut)

문은 문인데 가장 작은 문은? 소문
(문 = door, entrance, 소문 = rumor)

심지 못하는 씨는? 아저씨
(씨 = seed, 아저씨 = uncle)

소 가운데 가장 예쁜 소는? 미소
(소 = cow, 미소 = smile)

타고 넘어가는 개는? 산 고개
(개 = dog, 고개 = mountain path)

[Young FRANKenstein]

[genezorm]

what is the best number ?

18

[djsmnc]

Why did the Korean cross the road?


Because after he waited for 5 minutes at the crosswalk despite there being no traffic, the light finally changed.





or


Why did the Korean cross the road?




Because everyone else did.