Korean Job Discussion Forums

[bejarano-korea]

My favourite joke all time...

Q: Whats the difference between driving a skoda and kate moss?

A: You feel a bigger tit driving a skoda!

Boom boom!

[anyangoldboy]

again - Why do Canadian people like to do it doggy style???

So they can both watch the hockey

[Big_Bird]

[bejarano-korea]

[Treefarmer]

it's all about tommy cooper


1. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

2. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..."

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,
"No, the steaks are too high."

6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

7 . A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.
'Is it common?'
"It's not unusual."

13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him doon." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"

14. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside."
"How's that?"
"Don't you start."

15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin.

19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!"

20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

21. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places"
The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore"

23. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night

[Carlyles Ghost]

Guy walks into a bar but he doesn't have a neck-tie and the bouncer sends him away. Guy comes back a few minutes later with a set of booster cables around his neck and asks "Is this okay?" Bouncer carefully eyes him up and down and says, "well...okay....but don't you start anything."

[Fishead soup]

[mrgiles]

well this guy had been feeling pretty bad for weeks - a headache that wouldn't go away, that sort of thing. so he thought it'd be best to go see someone about it. well, the doctor had a long talk to him, asked about his health record, and did some rudimentary tests. he started to look a bit worried, and asked the man to go get some tests at the hospital. better to be safe than sorry.

well he went and got a CAT scan, xrays etc. a week after that, he went back to the doctor to find out the results. after waiting for about an hour, the doctor told him that he better go into his office.

"i think it's best if you have a seat"

"well, what have i got, doctor?"

"look. i've got some good news and some bad news. what do u want to hear first?"

the patient decided it would be better to hear the bad news first, so that the good news would sound even better.

"the bad news, please."

"well, sir, i'm very sorry to tell you this. this is the worst part of my job. i'm afraid that you've got a very rare disease we haven't even seen before. there's nothing we can do. i'm sorry. you will be dead in a week. i'm so sorry, sir."

we can imagine how devastated the poor fella was. but, while still in a state of disbelief, he asked about the good news.

"ok," said the doc, with a huge grin on his face. "well, u see that really hot blonde nurse with the bit t1ts?"

"yes????!!???"

"i'm f.cking her!"

[JMO]