View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
as-ian

Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Location: Busan, South Korea
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 1:49 am Post subject: Underwear Goes Inside The Pants |
|
|
You know we have more prescription drugs now. Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad. I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases. Like:
"Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it!
Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is: people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy!
The schools, It is all about self-esteem in the schools. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs? What's going to happen to our porno industry? These women don't just grown on trees. It takes lots of drunk daddies missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks. And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed internet connection?
Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time. You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east. "Terrorists masterminds". Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think? They're not masterminds:
"OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack and you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just..."
"Who's the fvcking mastermind here? Me or you?"
Americans, let's face it, we've been a spoiled country for a long time. Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day. The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004:
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there were cheesecakes and pork chops everywhere."
Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle. I'll sit at a drive thru. I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter. Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large. You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fvcker? There's room in the back, take it! Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents.
Sometimes you have to suffer a little in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed later in life. Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, would there be a Microsoft? Of course not. You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think:
"I'm going to take over the world with computers! You'll see...I'll show them."
We're in one of the richest countries in the world, but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago. There are homeless people everywhere. This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was just going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor b4stard? People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it, they are just going to waste the money. Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do with it? Save it up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He's homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day. A homeless guy asked him for money. He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum? People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy. This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date. I'm predicting some problems during the interview process. I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy. Not that they enforce it very strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books.
___________________________________________
Yeah, I just wanted to throw this on here for fun. ^^ And yes, I realize that this isnt new. ^_~ |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
cbclark4

Joined: 20 Aug 2006 Location: Masan
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 1:52 am Post subject: |
|
|
Holy Crap!
I better change the picture on my resume. |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
oneofthesarahs

Joined: 05 Nov 2006 Location: Sacheon City
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:11 am Post subject: |
|
|
And what's the deal with airline food? Am I right, people? |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Kimchi Cowboy

Joined: 17 Sep 2006
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
Funny, I was just listening to that song today. Hadn't heard it in well over a year, maybe two - it came on "random". Forgot I had it. |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Snowmeow

Joined: 03 Oct 2005 Location: pc room
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:50 am Post subject: |
|
|
Hilarious stuff, love the sections about diseases and esteem |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
KOREAN_MAN
Joined: 01 Oct 2006
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:56 am Post subject: |
|
|
Not that I disagree with you, but Michael Jordan once said,
If you can say "Can I have some money?" then you can say "Welcome to McDonald's. May I help you?"
 |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
yingwenlaoshi

Joined: 12 Feb 2007 Location: ... location, location!
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:52 am Post subject: |
|
|
Chill out, man. |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Rae

Joined: 10 Oct 2007
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 1:02 pm Post subject: |
|
|
HAHAHAHAHA that was great!!  |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
indytrucks

Joined: 09 Apr 2003 Location: The Shelf
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:09 pm Post subject: Re: Underwear Goes Inside The Pants |
|
|
as-ian wrote: |
They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day. The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004:
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there were cheesecakes and pork chops everywhere." |
Awesome. Gave me my laugh for the morning. Thanks. |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Don Gately

Joined: 20 Mar 2006 Location: In a basement taking a severe beating
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
oneofthesarahs wrote: |
And what's the deal with airline food? Am I right, people? |
^awesome. Well done. |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 3:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
oneofthesarahs wrote: |
And what's the deal with airline food? Am I right, people? |
Bahahahahahahahahaha. |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 3:32 pm Post subject: Re: Underwear Goes Inside The Pants |
|
|
as-ian wrote: |
Americans, let's face it, we've been a spoiled country for a long time. Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day. The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004:
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there were cheesecakes and pork chops everywhere." |
My definition of spoiled is getting a lot of something for no effort. It seems to me Americans work very hard for their money and they enjoy the fruits of their labor with good food, good medicine, good entertainment, good cars, all the comforts of life a guy in Africa would kill to have 10% of.
Work hard, buying what makes you happy. That's not spoiled. That's the way an economy works.
But I do like your line about the obesity epidemic.
When I was in early university, I couldn't imagine life getting better. I couldn't imagine having a "I had to walk 10 miles in 10 feet of snow" stories for my kid. I imagined things could only go down hill, telling my kids "You don't know how good I had it! I didn't have to walk 10 miles through 10 feet of snow. I had a car in high school. If I couldn't park less than a block away from school I was pissed off! Yeah you kids have no appreciation how well we lived in 1984." |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
pest2

Joined: 01 Jun 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 5:08 pm Post subject: |
|
|
By George, the OP is right. Americans are doomed because they just have it too damned easy. What we need to do is send a nice epidemic over there and kill some of them off. Make their lives harder so, as the OP said, they can endure some pain and suffering. Then they will truly grow and become better people. I call on all of you to go to aviation school so you can learn to fly airliners into their financial districts' buildings to make their lives harder. In the long run, they will thank you for it.
Most of these 'developing countries' that try to become like the USA have got it all wrong! In trying to become more prosperous and forward-looking about their economies, cultures, qualities of life, they are really setting a course for their own demise. The only country that seems to be headed in the right direction is North Korea.
What I really long for is a world like the one we had during the medieval times. Now THAT would be progress! Kudos, OP, for pointing this out!
Its pretty obvious why some people like living in Korea sheeesh |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
oldfatfarang
Joined: 19 May 2005 Location: On the road to somewhere.
|
Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:35 pm Post subject: Re: Underwear Goes Inside The Pants |
|
|
[quote="as-ian"]
There are homeless people everywhere. This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was just going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor b4stard? ....
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
quote]
A hilarious and inciteful post - but pretty sad, too. Living and teaching in Asia gives us all an opportunity to look at our own society and culture in a new perspective. I look at my students and think what a terribly hard life they have - and are heading in to. Heck, I used to ride horses to school and go fishing after school - they just get to study for 16 hours a day so they can compete to ensure their families don't starve.
I really liked your homeless person analogy. Probably the most important thing travel, and living in Asia, can teach us, is not to judge homeless people - but to GIVE to them. I wonder if our shoddy treatment of the homeless is just a defense mechanism so that we can pretend that it might not be us one day - after suffering one of life's tragedies. |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Kimchi Cowboy

Joined: 17 Sep 2006
|
|
Back to top |
|
 |
|