|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Joe Thanks
Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Location: Dudleyville
|
 Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 4:36 am Post subject: |
 |
|
| shawner88 wrote: |
She's still sending me messages and calling. I've answered the phone a few times because I don't want to feel awkward when I see her at the health club which she joined on my account. Also, she talked about joining my adult class at my school (there's banners for it all over town with my name on them), so I can't really ignore her all together.
Today I got another text message: "Hi Schon. How is your day? Now I'm thinking of you and hearing the beautiful music. Bye."
I replied, "Yeah, sounds great. See you again." |
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Inversely, the road to good is paved with hellish intentions.
Cheers,
Joe |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Starperson
Joined: 23 Mar 2003
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 4:54 am Post subject: |
|
|
Shawner - she's bored and lonely. You're exotic. Don't lead her on. Don't write, "See you again" for goodness' sake!
Write, I'm busy, BYE. Next time she makes a suggestive comment, say, "You're MARRIED!!!!!!!!!! In MY country, women and men don't spend too much time together if they're married!".
Draw the line mate. Don't muck around with someone else's wife.
Coffeecup - I reckon girls can sense your intentions a mile off. I've seen it happen. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
shawner88
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 4:59 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Starperson wrote: |
Shawner - she's bored and lonely. You're exotic. Don't lead her on. Don't write, "See you again" for goodness' sake!
Write, I'm busy, BYE. Next time she makes a suggestive comment, say, "You're MARRIED!!!!!!!!!! In MY country, women and men don't spend too much time together if they're married!".
Draw the line mate. Don't muck around with someone else's wife.
Coffeecup - I reckon girls can sense your intentions a mile off. I've seen it happen. |
"See you again" is the standard way of saying goodbye in English in Korea. It doesn't imply I can't wait to see her again. Cut me some slack. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Starperson
Joined: 23 Mar 2003
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:14 am Post subject: |
|
|
Yeah I know that. But why not just be blunt? Even if she's kidding herself that it's all innocent, she knows exactly what she's doing is wrong.
Why cut you some slack? Don't kid yourself. Don't spare her feelings. Her boring marriage isn't your issue.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not being antagonistic towards you. But don't be naive. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
shawner88
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:24 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Starperson wrote: |
Yeah I know that. But why not just be blunt? Even if she's kidding herself that it's all innocent, she knows exactly what she's doing is wrong.
Why cut you some slack? Don't kid yourself. Don't spare her feelings. Her boring marriage isn't your issue.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not being antagonistic towards you. But don't be naive. |
LOL! Thanks for the advice, but I know what I'm doing. I'll lead her into temptation, then cut her off at the peak, watch her sink into the firey depths of passion then cut her off at the pivotal point: leaving her ashamed, humiliated, desperate, clutching to what remains of her tenuous existence.
Yeah? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Coffeecup
Joined: 30 Jun 2003
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:53 am Post subject: |
|
|
| katydid with the smashed kitten avatar* wrote: |
What you should consider doing is try to hang out with your coworkers. Invite them out for a beer, go see a movie with them, have dinner, whatever. Maybe you'll become good friends with them, and maybe you won't. But they will be sure to introduce you to some of their friend along the way. |
hmmm, I'll keep it in mind. It's hard for me to do because I am not a real groupie kind of person, but well... Do you mean Koreans, or westerners, or both? I would imagine if you invited Koreans then everyone would get suspicious. Also, were you living in Seoul when you felt down and low, or was that in the country side? To be honest I think living in a small city would actually have warmer people and would slowly lead to more friendships or at least a few decent ones. Seoul sux and both expat as well as Korean friendliness is horrible, I'd give it about a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10.
[*edit: oh now I realize that's a sleeping cat that got tired in his dinner plate]
[second edit: liam I'll try and answer some of your questions another time when I can. But then some of those seemed kinda personal  ] |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
katydid
Joined: 02 Feb 2003
Location: Here kitty kitty kitty...
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Coffeecup wrote: |
| hmmm, I'll keep it in mind. It's hard for me to do because I am not a real groupie kind of person, but well... Do you mean Koreans, or westerners, or both? I would imagine if you invited Koreans then everyone would get suspicious. Also, were you living in Seoul when you felt down and low, or was that in the country side? To be honest I think living in a small city would actually have warmer people and would slowly lead to more friendships or at least a few decent ones. Seoul sux and both expat as well as Korean friendliness is horrible, I'd give it about a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10. |
Do you have a choice between Westerners or Koreans?  I mean try to talk to everyone. It couldn't hurt. And I mean people you work with, or people that belong to the same groups you join, because an invite to random person on the street might not fly. What do you mean about everyone getting suspicious if you invite Koreans out? Hanging out with 6 people does not a private lesson make. Now is not the time to worry about what everyone else thinks.
I lived in Mokpo (a small city in Jeollanamdo) last year. I had nothing but Korean friends then cause the expat community was kind of snobbish toward me for some reason or another. The Koreans were really cool...everyone else, a candidate for the Freakiest Waygook award. You should look in the ex pat papers and see if anything interests you. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Mosley
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 10:50 pm Post subject: katydid.... |
|
|
| Ah, I don't suppose they were "snobbish" towards you because you considered them Freakiest Waygook Award candidates? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
katydid
Joined: 02 Feb 2003
Location: Here kitty kitty kitty...
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 10:58 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| No...I tried to be friends with them then. It's only now that I think of them as being Freaky Waygooks. Since Mokpo was small, the foreigner scene was well, very cliquish and reminiscent of high school. I had pissed off my roommate (not the most pleasant person to begin with) and can only assume she bad-mouthed me and the sheep decided to take her word for it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
HardyandTiny
Joined: 03 Jun 2003
|
| Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2003 1:50 am Post subject: |
|
|
Shawn
You screwed up all the possibilities by posting on this board and telling the entire world that you know she is married.
I think it's obvious that you're just having fun and most of what you've said has not actually happened.
Just in case.
If you're going to figure out women, keep it a secret.
The way you're going her husband will have your ass slung up for Namdaemun pork with soju. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
shawner88
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
|
| Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2003 2:39 am Post subject: |
|
|
| HardyandTiny wrote: |
Shawn
You screwed up all the possibilities by posting on this board and telling the entire world that you know she is married.
I think it's obvious that you're just having fun and most of what you've said has not actually happened.
Just in case.
If you're going to figure out women, keep it a secret.
The way you're going her husband will have your ass slung up for Namdaemun pork with soju. |
Yeah, I'm sure everyone in the "entire world" (didn't realize Dave's getting that many hits) knows who Stella is - which is not even her real English name anyway.
As far as just having fun, I'd do a much better job if I were making it up. If you read what I wrote, you'd see that there's not all that much going on and it's not all that exciting.
Thanks for the smooth detective analysis though
By the way, I have no problem figuring out the women I want to be with. And a lonely ajumma isn't one of them. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
HardyandTiny
Joined: 03 Jun 2003
|
| Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2003 2:53 am Post subject: |
|
|
[quote="shawner88] By the way, I have no problem figuring out the women I want to be with. And a lonely ajumma isn't one of them.[/quote]
Then I have to ask. Why are you continuing to post about your problem with this woman?
Tell her to buzz off. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
shawner88
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
|
| Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2003 3:04 am Post subject: |
|
|
| HardyandTiny wrote: |
| [quote="shawner88] By the way, I have no problem figuring out the women I want to be with. And a lonely ajumma isn't one of them. |
Then I have to ask. Why are you continuing to post about your problem with this woman?
Tell her to buzz off.[/quote]
It's not that easy in a small town. Plus she joined the health club I go to and is considering joining my adult class. I haven't been leading her on, just trying to be polite. It's not really bothering me anymore though...she's calmed down with the messages. I think it was more of a sudden interest in somebody different in this little town, plus it gives her a chance to speak English, and she's in love with the U.S. after having gone on a trip there last year.
Anyway, no biggie. I see your staying home tonight too. Sucks, huh? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
HardyandTiny
Joined: 03 Jun 2003
|
| Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2003 3:33 am Post subject: |
|
|
haha, let it ride.
doesn't suck staying home
stock market opens at 1130pm seoul time
will make money tonight I THINK
fine line between beer and stocks |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
|
| Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2003 4:11 am Post subject: |
|
|
Coffeecup: forget the "hang out with your coworkers" advice. I mean its not as if you don't see enough of them every day. Coworkers and friends present the most readilly accessible gene pool, but also the most headache potential.
I find i can only really be myself when I'm with people unconnected to the whole work situation. That way nothing will come back to haunt you.
As regards "putting out the right vibe", you don't have much control over this anyway- or at least i don't. Women will always be able to pick up on your true state of being, its not something you can ever disguise or fake.
last year I was preoccupied with an absent long-distance girlfriend, and pretty unavailable to women here. Which is maybe why they were all in my face, buying me gifts and ferrying me around, inviting me out and so on.
Now that I'm actually single and available, they don't want to know. So what changed?
I've started a new job, in a new place, and am trying a bit too hard I guess- to impress, to make friends, to settle in, etc. Obviously my whole vibe is a bit unnatural for them.
I suspect that like me right now, you're expecting a bit too much from people who don't really know you, and a situation that you're not entirely familiar with.
Give it time, and things will happen when people sense that you're confident and comfortable with where and who you are. By that stage you'll probably not be so bothered anyway- women love a guy who doesn't particularly care..... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
