Korean Job Discussion Forums

Sejong · Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Location: Wally World

A lot of my adult students tell me they want to "be my friend" (exact words), and usually that amounts to me giving them my email address or phone number, and that's it. Rarely seems to lead to any sort of social committment. So I thought nothing of giving my number to one of my nicer students the other day...

So this morning (saturday) at 9:30 am, he calls to invite me to his coworker's baby's 1st birthday party tonight. WTF? Who on earth would do this? Why would he want me there? More importantly, why would his coworker want me there? And could he actually have expected me to say yes?

Some of my friends have been brought along to Korean parties before, apparently as some kind of prestige-booster to the host. Is that what this was, or just an honest, but misguided attempt to hang out with me?

Mr. Pink · Joined: 21 Oct 2003 Location: China

Hmm reasons I can think of:

1) He's gay and like female students, he might want to sample some foreign cuisine.
2) He doesn't drink, and so figured maybe this is a good place to meet up.
3) Maybe there is a party after, and he thought it would fun if you joined them.
4) Maybe he wants you to experience some Korean culture, and a 1st birthday party IS a very big deal here.

Kinda leaning on #4 for what prolly happened in this guys mind.

chronicpride · Joined: 16 Jan 2003

I think the 1 year old is going to end up being your next private. Wink

You never know with the way these hangookin think over here.

Ya-ta Boy · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994

I'm leaning to Mr. Pink's reason #4. This student probably wanted to share some Korean culture with you at an event that has some built-in conversation topics. At the two 100 day birthday parties I've been to, there was lots of decent free food and drink. And I didn't feel too bad about stealing the spotlight away from a 100 day old baby. Neither one could talk yet, so they weren't that interesting as the honored guest.

People here complain so much about being 'left out', 'excluded'. It seems to me you missed a pleasant peak into Korean culture that not everyone gets to see.

hellofaniceguy · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Location: On your computer screen!

[quote="
People here complain so much about being 'left out', 'excluded'. It seems to me you missed a pleasant peak into Korean culture that not everyone gets to see.[/quote]

Wrong answer. What's so pleasant about the culture where people get drunk at a 1 year olds birthday party! Some things in korea are just plain screwy. Not right or wrong, just lacking common sense when compared to what is done in other countries; what would be considered normal.
I went to a few 1 year old parties and all four of them, people got drunk and I thought that after the first, it was just an exception, so I went to another. Naw, after 4, all the same I think.

kangnam mafioso · Joined: 27 Jan 2003 Location: Teheranno

don't freak out ... it's a cultural thing. the 1 year birthday is very important in korea ... as in the past, the majority of babies didn't live that long. he probably was surprised you gave your number to him and just wanted to show you a little korean culture. (btw ... why are you giving your number to the male students?)

with that said, i wouldn't want to go. i don't like going to korean gatherings where i am the only white person and i don't know any one very well. i find it very draining. i would rather just meet one korean friend and have a beer.

make up a nice excuse and thank him for inviting you. always save face!

Homer · Guest

#4 seems like the most probable...

Gladiator · Joined: 23 May 2003 Location: Seoul

According to Susan Oak and Virginia Martin in "American/Korean Contrasts" asking to be someone's friend is typical behaviour in Korea, what with the foundations for friendship in this culture being so completely different (e.g. friendship so often has zilch to do with shared interests/mutual respect and everything to do with how favours can be reciprocated).

I'm not saying this book's gospel or anything but it contains some fairly good anthlopological insights.

Usually close friends and co-workers are the preferred guests at "ddol" ceremonies it seems. Could be that he's trying to initiate you into "close" friendship for purposes of English buddyship or otherwise.

rapier · Joined: 16 Feb 2003

Sejong: It can actually be quite nice mixing with koreans away from the whole stressed out work arena, so long as they speak some english with you. They turn into different people when they're out of the office.