Korean Job Discussion Forums

[blurgalurgalurga]

My dad was here last weekend, and commented on how open Korean people are about (presumably) non-sexual public displays of affection. They're always holding hands and hugging each other and resting their heads on each other's shoulders. We did not, however, see anybody snogging on a dance floor, or anything remotely resembling that.

He mentioned that when he was a kid in a small semi-puritanical New England town, that sort of thing wasn't really done, and they even had, at their high school, 'PDA Monitors' who would go around trying to catch teens holding hands or smooching. If they found somebody they'd holler 'PDA! PDA!' and give them a 'you are evil' voucher, and a detention, or for repeat offenders, expulsion or excommunication, or perhaps a week in the stocks. Some kind of residual Scarlet Letter trip, I guess.

Anyway, I think PDAs are generally good, but it seems a lot of my contemporaries don't. I'm curious: what's the breakdown? Please participate in my poll.

[Hank the Iconoclast]

PDA is fine as long as I don't see someone in the physical act of sex. Something I did see when I was in Germany. However, it was a very drunk 23 year old American with a 16 year old and they were doing it on a trash can. That was quite gross.

[Ya-ta Boy]

I'm rather Puritanical. Nothing wrong with holding hands and a head on the shoulder thing, but beyond that is unnecessary. I do make a distinction between a peck on the cheek (which is OK in my book) and a kiss.

For me, the level of intimacy is important. Intimacy in public is exhibitionism. I figure if you want someone to watch you have sex, then invite some consenting adults over to your home. I have no interest in watching you, so leave me off your invitation list. Should I be in the mood for that, I'll make my own arrangements that suit me.

[safeblad]

i believe the rule in korea is that public displays of affection are OK as long as they are same sex displays

edit- and not in the 'its cool as long as its two hot chicks kind of way *

[Freakstar]

Not really into PDA myself. Back home, my ex-girlfriend would sometimes put her hand in my back pocket while we walked and grabbed my ass. Otherwise, I was fine with just holding hands and "pecking" on the lips. Public makeout sessions are a turn off for me, but to each his own I guess.

Here in Seoul, I haven't seen much PDA at all among Koreans beyond innocent hand holding and hugging. Come to think of it, I've yet to see two Koreans kiss in public and I've been here for 3 months now.

[Scotticus]

[whatever]

[pest2]

wow, this thread certainly did not turn into a public display of affection! Keu keu!

[Ya-ta Boy]

[blackjack]

how come there is no swear filter for korean?

[sojourner1]

I see public displays of affections (PDA's) being common between friends of the same gender which has nothing to do with being gay or anything other than having kindness for each other. With that said, it does feel strange to walk down the street holding arms with your male Korean friends as I can't get over the thought of looking gay, but it doesn't mean that here.


Only once have I seen a man and woman have a PDA which was on a people-later in a Homeplus store, a young adult couple put their arms around and held each other while the man was poking one finger under the waistline of her skirt.

PDA's seem to not be associated with sexuality or sexual acts, but rather as a kind act of caring for a friend though it can easily be misconstrued when you apply western ideas and logic. I noticed my Korean friends always worry about me irrationally and ask me how I am doing often with their arms around me when I am not sulfuring or having any problems.

Remember people here are only usually this warm when they get to know you and especially at night since people don't normally show emotion and individualism during the day in Korea.

This all makes for an interesting cultural learning experience.

[Scotticus]

[brento1138]

Actually, a few months ago, I saw an older Korean couple (must have been in their 40s or 50s) holding hands and smiling. That's right, holding hands AND smiling. Then, it dawned on me. That's a rare sight in Korea.