Korean Job Discussion Forums

[stevemcgarrett]

This is really starting to bother me (and let me insert a caveat here that I acknowledge this could be a growing problem in other countries, including my own, only I'm not aware of it).

Every time I go into a large Korean department store or supermarket very late at night I see Korean kids (from babies on up) tagging alongside their parents and grandparents. Half of them are semi-comatose in shopping carts and the others are wired on sugar or ornery as all get up.

Don't these kids have any regular bedtime here? And I'm not just talking about a few incidents here--it's widespread.

When do these kids rest? Why aren't they with babysitters or relatives?

It's bad enough seeing high school kids lugging their bookbags home at 9 p.m. from hagwons and such, but is it really necessary for so many two-parent families to engage in this sort of irresponsible parenting?

Does anyone else find this troubling?

[djsmnc]

It's the reason Koreans often have a hard time with certain forms of humor such as sarcasm or the ability to consider all sides of an opinion. Their brains can't register certain complexities like that after years of sleeplessness. Think about one of those times you've pulled an all nighter and you just don't have that same sense of humor or attention to small details that you'd normally have. Imagine that being 7/8 of your childhood.

[stevemcgarrett]

I hear ya, bruddah.

But what accounts for this conduct?

[Dome Vans]

Yep.

There is a bar near my apartment and the owner will have their 3 year old son running around the bar till 1-2am, this was on a thursday. Sometimes he looks beat but they don't let him go home or get a babysitter to look after him.

To my mind I find that Korean's don't seem to have much of a relax mode. If the parents don't allow the kids to relax and enjoy childhood, what effect will this have on them when they get older?

Probably because I'm not used to it but the idea of having to go to school monday to saturday. Usually 8am to 9-10pm seems a killer. It doesn't seem to be smart thinking. There's needs to a break in this strive to succeed. The idea that you work this ridiculously hard shows why a lot of kids sleep or have general apathy to school work.

Maybe it's just a western take on it, there doesn't seem to be quality family time I'm not suggesting that it's roses in the west but there does seem to be a little time during the week for the family to sit down, watch tv etc. Kids finish school, hogwan, go to PC bang, kill some people on line then go to bed.

The only time I see Korean's relaxing is on the luxury buses. As soon as the bus pulls out of the terminal, it's nap time! Still it's kind of contagious.

[Atavistic]

It's not new, it's the way Koreans raise their kids. They spoil the hell out of them when they're young, then kill them with schooling when they're older.

I don't understand how PARENTS have any quality time together when they cater to their kids so much.

[tzechuk]

It's not about spoiling the children, it's about what is convenient for the parents.

Sending them to bed early means the parents will also have to stay at home. Going to bed late means they can go out whenever they want. Also, this is what my husband says: by the time a couple have children, instead of bonding more because of the children, they distant themselves.. so sending children to bed early means having time to themselves, which apaprently they dislike, cos they have nothing to say to each other and sometimes fight.

I don't know how true it is, but it's what my husband said - and what led, primarily, to his divorce from his ex-korean-wife.

[KumaraKitty]

My husband and I went to Home Plus last night around 1:30am. There were so many children running around and playing on carts we were shocked. My husband actually double checked the time because he couldn't believe just how many there were! It is very strange to us, and being pregnant now, it makes us wonder why they are out there. It's Home Plus, not something that one partner would regret not seeing because they are home with the sleeping kids! It's a grocery store! So strange to us!

[Atavistic]

[Typhoon]

Tzechuck is right. Korean parents would rather have the whole family up together and not have "couple time". My wife's friends think we are crazy and a little mean for sending our daughter to bed at a set time. My wife's friends' kids set their own bedtimes sometimes staying up until 12, 1 or even 2 in the morning. I just don't get it. For a society that claims to worry/care about kids a lot this seems to be a big problem. Multiple studies show that a good nights sleep is important for physical, mental and social growth in children. Parents don't let kids watch TV all day because it is bad for them, why let them stay up late when we know it is bad for them? It is not that hard to get kids to bed earlier in the night. It takes a little work and planning in the beginning, but the rewards of having your kids going to bed and sleeping well are really worth it (for the kid and for the parents ).

[Bibbitybop]

Worrying or changing the culture of Korean families isn't something we are here for. Unless you date a Korean, then it's ok.

[lucas_p]

Well, quite a few of us are dating or married to Koreans, so it does affect us a bit.

I was told by my MIL that she will be buying me many many gifts from here on out because I "actually love" her daughter unlike her two other SILs. I see it in my wife's family and I see it in my Korean friends' families. Many couples still seem to get married out of pure tradition and need to make children. The children will then be the barrier that keeps the husband and wife from being with each other and thus able to bear each other -- so the child will be used often times, to the child's detriment, to keep away that couple time. Then of course, when they get older, the children need to stay up to study.

Our Korean friends are flabbergasted that we might not have children -- they said we needed to have children to keep our marriage going as the couple's love disappears soon after marriage and they need a distraction to stay together. Right out of their mouths...so the thinking is definitely here.

[MiniMoonks]

That's just the Korean society. It's the norm for parents. Heck, when I visited my relatives in Korea a few years back they would always bring along their kids during their very late night dinners or sing-a-long parties.

[Dome Vans]

[princess]

[princess]