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Big_Bird

Joined: 31 Jan 2003 Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 8:08 pm Post subject: "Shagger of the Year" goes to sex addiction clinic |
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This is an interesting little read, written by Russell Brand himself. (He's the git who got in trouble with Rod Stewart for claiming he'd shagged Rod's daughter).
I was in an orgy ... but it felt like it was being directed by Mike Leigh'
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Sex is recreational for me, as well as a way of accruing status and validation (even before I attained the unique accolade of "Shagger of the Year" from the Sun. We all need something to help us unwind at the end of the day. You might have a glass of wine, or a joint, or a big delicious blob of heroin to silence your silly brainbox of its witterings, but there has to be some form of punctuation, or life just seems utterly relentless.
And this is what sex provides for me - a breathing space, when you're outside of yourself and your own head. Especially in the actual moment of climax, where you literally go, "Ah, there's that, then. I've unwound. I've let go." Not without good reason do the French describe an orgasm as a "little death". That's exactly what it is for me (in a good way, obviously) - a little moment away, a holiday from my head.
So why would a fella who plainly enjoys how's yer father as much as I do go to a so-called "sex camp"? Many people are sceptical about the idea of what I like to call "sexy addiction", thinking it a spurious notion, invented primarily to help Hollywood film stars evade responsibility for their priapic excesses. But I reckon there is such a thing. Addiction, by definition, is a compulsive behaviour that you cannot control or relinquish, in spite of its destructive consequences. And if my life proves nothing else, it demonstrates that this formula can be applied to sex just as easily as it can be to drugs or alcohol, both of which I know more than a bit about.
At one point, about five years ago, I had a harem of about 10 women, whom I would rotate in addition to one-night stands and random casual encounters. But shagging - incessant as it was - no longer seemed to have the required calming effect. I was on the brink of becoming sufficiently well known for my carnal overindulgences - with lapdancers and prostitutes, to say nothing of all the women who didn't sell sex for a living - to cause me professional difficulties. There's nothing especially peculiar or odd about my erotic predilections. It's the scale of my sexual endeavours that causes the problems, not the nature of them. I just like girls, all different ones, in an unsophisticated, unevolved way, like a Sun reader or a yobbo at a bus stop in Basildon, perhaps because, at my core, that's what I am. |
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When I came back from Asia, I was much more comfortable around women, and my sexuality had morphed forever from bewildered innocence into something more complex and rapacious. Once my career as a comedian and TV presenter started to pick up, I began to have loads of encounters after gigs. As my sexual appetite grew, I found myself engaged in an increasingly desperate quest to satisfy it. I became so open to suggestion that when someone asked me if I'd like to go to an orgy, I didn't think twice before accepting this invitation.
The word "orgy" is undeniably an evocative one. It conjures up sumptuous images of delicate muslin drapes being teased by a breeze, Turkish music playing everywhere (in fact my whole orgy scenario seems to have been lifted pretty much wholesale from a Turkish Delight advert), nubile Nubian women entwined about each other like a Henry Moore statue, people decadently devouring grapes. I thought there'd probably be a sort of Swiss bloke with no irises or pupils in his eyes as well, just kind of staring. But what I got in a tower block in Hackney was people who looked like they were made out of Ready Brek, swathed in clingfilm, waddling back and forth with towels about their waists. And everywhere there was this intangible sadness, as if the orgy was being directed by Mike Leigh. I remember this woman came bustling out of a doorway when I first got there - she reminded me of my mum, which didn't help - and said, "Just done my second . . . better go and rinse my mouth out." Then a washing-machine repair man turned up - not as a guest, but to repair the washing-machine.
It was to rescue me from these kinds of grisly scenarios that John Noel sent me to KeyStone. And I'm glad he did. One day I had to write a victims' list - a litany of the women I'd wronged as a result of my sexual addiction. I felt like Saddam Hussein trying to pick out individual Kurds. |
EDIT: Edited thread title to make sense.
Last edited by Big_Bird on Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:07 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Dome Vans Guest
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:04 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks Big Bird for putting up a picture of a guy that whenever I see his stupid head I want to break the television. The guy is a tool. Celebrity gone wrong. SO he's a div who can't control his nib, why doesn't he tell someone who cares, don't try and rationalise it in some poetic fashion.
Did I mention I didn't like him? |
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jinju
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:09 pm Post subject: |
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sex addiction is as pathetic as any other addiction, be it alcohol, drugs, gambling, tobacco.... |
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Big_Bird

Joined: 31 Jan 2003 Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:10 pm Post subject: |
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Take a look at his website, and wait for the slide show to load then watch different pictures of him. He looks a right nob.
http://www.russellbrandfansite.com/ |
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loose_ends
Joined: 23 Jul 2007
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:11 pm Post subject: |
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jinju wrote: |
sex addiction is as pathetic as any other addiction, be it alcohol, drugs, gambling, tobacco.... |
what do you mean? |
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Dome Vans Guest
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:19 pm Post subject: |
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He is a right nob!
I'm really hoping he doesn't affect the status of Noel Fielding by hanging round with him. |
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Big_Bird

Joined: 31 Jan 2003 Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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Dome Vans wrote: |
He is a right nob!
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Rod Stewart and Danni Minogue certainly think so. I just came across this article in today's Independent too. It must be Russell Brand awareness week.
Russell Brand's got issues
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The comic once called 'a vile predator' gives his own, measured, account of a dispute that delighted the tabloids |
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Pluto
Joined: 19 Dec 2006
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:24 pm Post subject: |
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Big_Bird wrote: |
Take a look at his website, and wait for the slide show to load then watch different pictures of him. He looks a right nob.
http://www.russellbrandfansite.com/ |
*Sigh* Vanity at its worst. I'm surprised this guy's over inflated ego got him a lay at all. Sea lo que sea Whatever works I guess. |
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jinju
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:24 pm Post subject: |
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loose_ends wrote: |
jinju wrote: |
sex addiction is as pathetic as any other addiction, be it alcohol, drugs, gambling, tobacco.... |
what do you mean? |
I mean that addictions are for the weak. Allowing anything external to control your mind and your decisions is pathetic. That goes for drugs or alcohol or sex. |
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Dome Vans Guest
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:33 pm Post subject: |
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it's like Robbie Williams. "Ah man, I sleep with hundreds of women. I'm a tortured genius who just can't help it. All these drugs and all this money, I need help"
We don't care! As Jinju says, Weak weak people.
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Daannnniiiii Minogue |
Is she still knocking about? She's in the wrong decade.
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He is wickedly funny and devilishly handsome, with a sly charm that makes women and men go giggly. |
Right that's it I'm going home!  |
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Big_Bird

Joined: 31 Jan 2003 Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:39 pm Post subject: |
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Ms Minogue is still on the go:
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loose_ends
Joined: 23 Jul 2007
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:39 pm Post subject: |
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jinju wrote: |
loose_ends wrote: |
jinju wrote: |
sex addiction is as pathetic as any other addiction, be it alcohol, drugs, gambling, tobacco.... |
what do you mean? |
I mean that addictions are for the weak. Allowing anything external to control your mind and your decisions is pathetic. That goes for drugs or alcohol or sex. |
have you ever loved anyone with an addiction?
mother, father, cousin, girlfriend, etc?
I don't suggest calling them pathetic. |
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Big_Bird

Joined: 31 Jan 2003 Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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Well of all the addictions you could have, sex addiction can't be the worse (unless you're an ugly bugger who couldn't get laid in a morgue). You'd get plenty of exercise at least, and it must be good for your heart!  |
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loose_ends
Joined: 23 Jul 2007
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:48 pm Post subject: |
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Big_Bird wrote: |
Well of all the addictions you could have, sex addiction can't be the worse (unless you're an ugly bugger who couldn't get laid in a morgue). You'd get plenty of exercise at least, and it must be good for your heart!  |
ugly sex addicts buy sex.
also, sex addicts are at risk of catching hiv/aids.
there is always the rape issue too.
any addiction is certainly very unhealthy. |
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Dome Vans Guest
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:48 pm Post subject: |
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Big Bird, What part of that picture is still real? What age is she now, I just about remember Neighbours and that seemed quite a while ago so I'd put her at about 50. Things should really be going south soon! |
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