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being gay and working in korea....
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littlelisa



Joined: 12 Jun 2007
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 7:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know that there is one either; I think the problem is mostly when people are asexual but have never heard of it, or are led to think it's some sort of disease or condition, and therefore think they're just weird.

But this thread is not supposed to be about asexuality. Sorry for the threadjack. Embarassed
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littlelisa



Joined: 12 Jun 2007
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 7:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

bacasper wrote:
littlelisa wrote:
bacasper wrote:
littlelisa wrote:
Kwangjuchicken wrote:
Those who know about my sexuality find it unbelievable. But to me it makes sence. If there is an opposite to everything, then my sexuality makes sence.

The oposite of straight is gay.

The oposite to bisexual is me.

I have no sexual interests at all towards either men or women. I had a psychiatrist as a student and he said there are many people like me and it is OK. Just wish I could meet people like me. Are any of you like me?


Yes! Are you on AVEN?

Hahaha, I never thought I'd see a discussion on asexuality on here.

Edit: reread your post and my guess is no, since you sound like you haven't chatted with (m)any other asexuals. Yes, it's totally normal, and completely OK. I applaud your psychiatrist for saying so; many people just say that asexuals don't exist and are just repressed, and most people have never heard of it at ALL.

You might be interested to check out AVEN -- www.asexuality.org

If you haven't already, you ought to have a complete workup by a medical sexologist since you may be instead suffering from Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, before concluding that your orientation is asexual. There is a fair-sized list of differential diagnoses, some of which are treatable.

Are you male or female? I only ask because the condition is more common in females.

Rolling Eyes
Yeah, and I heard you can cure gayness too. FYI, asexuality is a valid orientation, despite its not being well-known.

Rather than write a long reply, I will direct you to AVEN's FAQ. It's a really good FAQ. I know a lot of these kinds of replies just come because people don't know enough about it, so I highly suggest you check it out.

Edited to add: Yes, you should see a medical professional if there has been a sudden decrease or something, but this is not ever being sexually attracted to either gender.

Also FTR, don't go mixing up sex drive with sexual attraction, as these are also separate things. But the FAQ will say that too, so yeah, just go read it.

Yeah, OK, Ms. Know-it-all. Actually, you know nothing more about Kwangjuchicken than one post. You don't know the history, symptoms, extent, nor physical findings of his/her condition.

Apparently, you don't read very well, either, because if you did you would know that I consider asexuality a valid possible orientation so I put it in large print now. And then, after your totally uncalled-for little rant, you end up agreeing with me about the evaluation! Rolling Eyes

It sounds like you need a psychiatric evaluation.


Well you quoted me, so I thought you were referring to me, not Kwangjuchicken. When I realized that you may not have been, I went back and edited it.
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Kwangjuchicken



Joined: 01 Sep 2003
Location: I was abducted by aliens on my way to Korea and forced to be an EFL teacher on this crazy planet.

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 4:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well today something happened. I was in an elevator and saw this real hot guy. Then, upon closer inspection I said, "Oh my gosh, there is a mirror in this elevator". Embarassed

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bacasper



Joined: 26 Mar 2007

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 8:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

littlelisa wrote:
Well you quoted me, so I thought you were referring to me, not Kwangjuchicken. When I realized that you may not have been, I went back and edited it.

OK, thanks for explaining that.
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articulate_ink



Joined: 23 Mar 2004
Location: Left Korea in 2008. Hong Kong now.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sjk1128 wrote:
So I've read this a couple of times in this thread and heard it many times, but I am still unclear as to what "rubbing someone's face in it" entails with regard to being gay. This smacks of prejudice like asking someone who's "too" black to use a lightening cream to make his or her skin more "pleasant." I've never understood why many people think it's possible to be "too" gay or "too" obvious about it but would never say the same thing about straight people. How "much" gay is acceptable in these people's estimations: 20%, 50%, 80%?

For example, earlier this year I was standing in a nightclub with a straight acquaintance. He felt perfectly comfortable extolling the virtues of his (Asian) girlfriend's tight orifices and perky appendages. However, he looked disgusted and walked away when I agreed amicably, honestly, and in an attempt to continue the conversation at his level, that my (Asian) boyfriend's a$$ was the hottest, tightest thing I'd ever plowed. Was that rubbing his face in it? I thought it was just a case of tit for t'ass.


Thanks for saying these things. I hate the line about rubbing people's faces in it, too. It's not too far removed from the racially biased 'know your place' sentiments of earlier decades.
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sjk1128



Joined: 04 Feb 2005

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 3:52 pm    Post subject: Yes siree, boy! Reply with quote

That's it articulate ink. To me "don't rub our faces in it" sounds like a gay equivalent of "We have no problem with the help- provided they're high yeller and pleasant to look at like Bessie, or know how to stay out of the way like Mammy. My goodness, she rarely sets foot out of the kitchen. How she does know her place..."
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bacasper



Joined: 26 Mar 2007

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kwangjuchicken wrote:
Well today something happened. I was in an elevator and saw this real hot guy. Then, upon closer inspection I said, "Oh my gosh, there is a mirror in this elevator". Embarassed


OK, in that case you are an autosexual.
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twg



Joined: 02 Nov 2006
Location: Getting some fresh air...

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been looking at this thread.

It's stupid.

Discussions of your sexuality doesn't need to be brought up at the job interview, nor in the office, nor in the classroom. It is irrelevant to the whole act of employment and doesn't need to be discussed at all.

Unless the plan is wear a big t-shirt that says, "I gobble schlong!" to work every day it's a meaningless concern.
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rockstarsmooth



Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Location: anyang, baybee!

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

twg wrote:
I've been looking at this thread.

It's stupid.

Discussions of your sexuality doesn't need to be brought up at the job interview, nor in the office, nor in the classroom. It is irrelevant to the whole act of employment and doesn't need to be discussed at all.

Unless the plan is wear a big t-shirt that says, "I gobble schlong!" to work every day it's a meaningless concern.


you're right. sexual orientation is irrelevant in the job interview, in the classroom, in the office. however, it does come up, in the form of questions like "are you married?" "do you have a boy/girlfriend?" yes, people can, and do, lie, but it's awkward. some people lie and say they are single. then they have to deal with getting set up on dates with eligible coworkers/friends. others can lie about the sex/gender of their partner, which is easier (and what i do at work), but it is frustrating for me to say "my husband..." when i really mean my wife. changing pronouns is frustrating too, and requires way too much thinking for what should be a simple task.
being able to say "my wife..." shouldn't be considered rubbing it in anyone's face, eating her pussy at work would be rubbing their faces in it. mine too. hehehe.
rss Cool



Arrow right now i'm listening to: the coup - interrogation
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articulate_ink



Joined: 23 Mar 2004
Location: Left Korea in 2008. Hong Kong now.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

twg wrote:
I've been looking at this thread.

It's stupid.

Discussions of your sexuality doesn't need to be brought up at the job interview, nor in the office, nor in the classroom. It is irrelevant to the whole act of employment and doesn't need to be discussed at all.

Unless the plan is wear a big t-shirt that says, "I gobble schlong!" to work every day it's a meaningless concern.


Straight guy: "My girlfriend and I went to Taipei for the weekend and had a great time."

Gay guy: "My boyfriend and I went to Taipei for the weekend and had a great time."

The former, most of you take for granted.

The latter would be seen through your filter of bias and ignorance as rubbing people's face in it, discussing sexuality, etc, whether or not there was any discussion of what went on between the sheets. Being gay is also about identity, not just sexuality. And not having the prerogative to tell your students about your weekend kind of sucks. In fact, I did just spend the weekend in Taipei with my boyfriend, and I've been having to avoid that detail. My students know about the trip, but they don't know who was with me. A straight guy wouldn't have had any problem referring to his girlfriend.
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printme



Joined: 23 Aug 2006

PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 12:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Snowkr wrote:
Sad.

What bums me out is that foreigners of other ethnicities seem to be treated so much worse here and they actually don't have a choice in what color, race or nationality they are.


you're saying gay people have a choice?
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Leslie Cheswyck



Joined: 31 May 2003
Location: University of Western Chile

PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 1:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Look, working in Korea is pretty much gay. So don't worry about it.

And, yes, everybody, Leslie is drunk, shut up.
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jiberish



Joined: 17 Jul 2006
Location: The Carribean Bay Wrestler

PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 7:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know a dude who got fired for being gay. I think they gota keep it secret if they want to keep their job.
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