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adventureman
Joined: 18 Feb 2003
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 Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 2:52 pm Post subject: Question for those currently raising children in Korea... |
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| If, god forbid, something were to happen to your spouse (for ex., killed in an accident) and you were suddenly thrust into the responsibilty of being a single parent of a young half-Korean, what would you do? Would you high-tail it back to your countries of orgin, or attempt to raise the child here ALONE without the support of a Korean husband/wife? |
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tzechuk
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 2:57 pm Post subject: |
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My husband is adament that we leave the country should anything happen to him. He doesn't think that I can make it alone here.. and no point really, cos I have no *real* friends or blood-related family (vs. family by marriage) here.
I think I would try it out for a couple of years - just because right now, I have a darn good job and happy with the way things are for now. Back in the UK, I would earn more but I would also spend more! Else I could go to HK, which could be a possibility... |
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Cheonmunka
Joined: 04 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:35 pm Post subject: |
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| you were suddenly thrust into the responsibilty of being a single parent of a young half-Korean |
As your children get older they are viewed less and less as 'half Korean.' My son is an elementary school student. He's completely integrated, believe it or not. Dad's not. But, then I knew it would never be the case anyway.
So, any decision would be based on what's best for the kids. That would be staying where family relationships are close. That's here.
Though, I'd fly back and forwards a few times. Same as now I guess.
Life's not necessarily easier in the West. The air is cleaner. People don't involve themselves with your business as much. Though sometimes people sticking their noses in is a good thing. It would be a welcome thing, after such a loss.
PS: Should note that everyone's relationships with their family back home is different. I have relatives that are scattered around several countries. So choosing one in particular to settle down in would be very difficult. |
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adventureman
Joined: 18 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Cheonmunka wrote: |
| As your children get older they are viewed less and less as 'half Korean.' |
I was unaware this was even possible, as many people on here have complained that, even in elementary schools, there is sense of nationalism/xenophobia/ that has already begun to unfold. Interesting.
What about people who are married with children and still not fluent, or at least profecient, in the language? What would the added stress be of dealing with daily communication barriers or non-english speaking inlaws be while trying to raise a child by one's self? Seems a bit daunting to me. |
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Ilsanman
Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Bucheon, Korea
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| Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Well my baby should be born next week or so. If my wife passed away at any time after, I'd certainly take my daughter back to Canada. Depending on her age is how I'd raise her. But my mother is a home caycare owner, so that would be the best place for her. |
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Cheonmunka
Joined: 04 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 9:40 am Post subject: |
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That's a baby countdown Ilsanman!
Hohoho. I just realized.
Nearly time ...
She'll be a 'free spirited' Sagittarian.
My wife is very active in the community - she has probably helped to make it the way I described - if anyone wants to deny my children's rights (yet, no one has tried it...) there would be an army of ajumas coming down on them. If she passed away ...? I think I'd try to maintain that community, too.
But, as we may have suggested, if you have a mom and dad and family back in Canada or elsewhere then there may be no question of what you would do.
| Quote: |
| many people on here have complained that, even in elementary schools, there is sense of nationalism/xenophobia/ |
In that it affects your child?
I haven't a friend with children in the school system state that their children actually have problems of this nature.
I think more likely co-workers and others like to feed stereotypes.
God knows why they do it.
I have heard for example, some years ago, something like 'Oh, you can't possibly bring your children up in Korea - they will not be accepted.'
That's what you mean, eh, stuff like that?
Well, it's rubbish. And it's not acceptable that people say it.
| Quote: |
| What about people who are married with children and still not fluent, or at least profecient, in the language? What would the added stress be of dealing with daily communication barriers or non-english speaking inlaws be while trying to raise a child by one's self? Seems a bit daunting to me |
Of course it would be. But there are plenty of western people even here on Dave's who are proficient in the language. It just takes time of study.
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But my mother is a home daycare owner, so that would be the best place for her.
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^_^ |
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Col.Brandon
Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Boy, it's hard to imagine what I'd do... drop a million or so a month on a Filipina babysitter? It'd be tempting to just hightail it home, but there's just so much opportunity here... |
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KumaraKitty
Joined: 09 Jan 2006
Location: Bucheon
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| Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 4:06 pm Post subject: |
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Our families are both mainly in N.America. If something happened to my husband, life would be hard. The apartment, bank accounts are all in his name. His parents already want us to either move back or send our child over to them to raise, they don't want the child raised here. So I would leave.
But it would be hard, because I can make way more money working way less hours here. That would mean I'd be able to have a decent life and still spend lots of time with my child. Back home Family is the key, and I'd probably be making decent money but spending more of it to have the same standard of living as I do here. |
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Ilsanman
Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Bucheon, Korea
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| Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, we thought she'd be early and be a Scorpio, but I guess not.
| Cheonmunka wrote: |
That's a baby countdown Ilsanman!
Hohoho. I just realized.
Nearly time ...
She'll be a 'free spirited' Sagittarian.
My wife is very active in the community - she has probably helped to make it the way I described - if anyone wants to deny my children's rights (yet, no one has tried it...) there would be an army of ajumas coming down on them. If she passed away ...? I think I'd try to maintain that community, too.
But, as we may have suggested, if you have a mom and dad and family back in Canada or elsewhere then there may be no question of what you would do.
| Quote: |
| many people on here have complained that, even in elementary schools, there is sense of nationalism/xenophobia/ |
In that it affects your child?
I haven't a friend with children in the school system state that their children actually have problems of this nature.
I think more likely co-workers and others like to feed stereotypes.
God knows why they do it.
I have heard for example, some years ago, something like 'Oh, you can't possibly bring your children up in Korea - they will not be accepted.'
That's what you mean, eh, stuff like that?
Well, it's rubbish. And it's not acceptable that people say it.
| Quote: |
| What about people who are married with children and still not fluent, or at least profecient, in the language? What would the added stress be of dealing with daily communication barriers or non-english speaking inlaws be while trying to raise a child by one's self? Seems a bit daunting to me |
Of course it would be. But there are plenty of western people even here on Dave's who are proficient in the language. It just takes time of study.
| Quote: |
But my mother is a home daycare owner, so that would be the best place for her.
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^_^ |
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shaunew
Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Location: Calgary
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| Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 5:35 pm Post subject: |
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| If something happen to my wife. I think I would go back to Canada. My family is would be very supportive and plus I can make my dad happy by working at the family business. |
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