Korean Job Discussion Forums

MA_TESOL · Joined: 11 Nov 2007 Location: Seoul

If teaching adults do you allow yourself to be friends with your students, or do you maintain a professional distance?

Ya-ta Boy · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994

I attempt to be friendly with all my students and have become friends with some of them. In 5 years of teaching in this specific environment and 4 more in a similar environment, it has never been a problem.

I listened to an interesting conversation with two of my students the other day. They were in pairs discussing questions and one of the questions was something like: It is very important for an English teacher to be friendly with students. The two students I was listening to on that question said they didn't agree with the statement. Both agreed that a good teacher has good teaching skills. Some people lack that and 'cover it' with being friendly to students. These two students said that students in general wouldn't complain but that they prefered a teacher with good skill over a friendly teacher.

the_beaver · Joined: 15 Jan 2003

At the beginning of every semester when I'm laying doing smack and just after telling them the umpteen ways that they can lose grades I tell my students that I'm friendly but not a friend.

waynehead · Joined: 18 Apr 2006 Location: Jongno

All of the adults I teach are older (much older) than I (they're either fellow teachers or my regular students' mothers) and so I'm friendly, almost to the point of being obsequious...I disgust myself sometimes, laughing at their insipid poorly formed jokes/stories.

But friends? Nope.

SuperHero · Joined: 10 Dec 2003 Location: Superhero Hideout

friendly but not friends. I'll say hi to you at Starbucks or on the subway, but I"m not going to meet you for coffee.

There's a line and I'm not about to cross it. Professionalism at all times, all it takes is one person misconstruing a meeting between you and a student and you'll be smack dab in the middle of your own personal spectrumgate.

and one other thing any meetings in my office the door stays open, I don't care what the weather is like - cold or hot. I will not be alone in an office with a student and have the door closed.

twg · Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Location: Getting some fresh air...

I've never taught a Korean adult that didn't want to become my best friend forever and ever.

Now, I can understand why, since I'm so adorable, but it got to the point that I stopped doing privates*

I'm someone who likes his space, and privacy, and respecting that is just not part of the culture.

*Ooops! Shhhh! Privates are illegal.

reactionary · Joined: 22 Oct 2006 Location: korreia

yeah..i work at a hagwon and when we first started, they had a clever idea! let's include the teacher's resume in the handouts to give to the students and their family! nevermind that it has his email and cell number!

one student especially, a rather poor student, decided he really wanted to be my friend. texting, calling, and getting really offended the next day when i wouldn't answer. he'd say "oh but you're not old enough to be my 'senior' - we're friend age" (even though i've graduated college and he has neither done that nor been to the military, just a few years of slacking).

another funny thing is when former students (Again, adults) add me on facebook....yep...welcome to limited profile.

SuperHero · Joined: 10 Dec 2003 Location: Superhero Hideout

Young FRANKenstein

reactionary · Joined: 22 Oct 2006 Location: korreia

Young FRANKenstein · Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 4:31 pm Post subject:

reactionary · Joined: 22 Oct 2006 Location: korreia

I agree. Like I said, it was done without my permission, and I was pretty damn angry at the school because of it.

Young FRANKenstein · Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 4:38 pm Post subject:

venus · Joined: 25 Oct 2006 Location: Near Seoul

When I worked at an adults hakwan, I used to go out for lunches etc with students.

Gives them an oportunity to speak english in a social environment and out of the classroom which is SO valuable to language learners.

Also I got to finsh class early a few times and got treated (Even though I insisted on paying sometimes, they never let me and I DID TRY) to some great meals and drinking sessions.

I saw one around in Ilsan recently and we stopped and had a chat which was nice.

Don't see the harm in it as long there are no assumptions about it.

reactionary · Joined: 22 Oct 2006 Location: korreia

yeah, i did the lunch thing once or twice.

once an ajumma was in the class, so she just whipped out her husband's credit card and paid for EVERYONE. cool with that.

other times, though, with university students...not only did they not treat me, they tried to pull the whole "oh, you're older, our teacher (yeah 4 or 5 years older) - you should treat us!"

pffffft. yeah, i really enjoyed your company that much.