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| Yeah, I have kids now. |
| Yeah, I hope to have kids someday. |
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58% |
[ 37 ] |
| Good God, no. And if they sit next to me on the plane, drug them please. |
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17% |
[ 11 ] |
| No. I'm all about me and my simple life. |
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23% |
[ 15 ] |
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| Total Votes : 63 |
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indytrucks
Joined: 09 Apr 2003
Location: The Shelf
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 Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 11:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Cheonmunka wrote: |
| How so? Perhaps due to: making sure the mortgage is paid and the bank is not writing up a foreclosure, ensuring your family has enough food on the table, staying awake at night biting your fingers when your children's sicknesses and fevers don't go down, holding your job and trying hard to please your boss so you are not fired because if you are you would lose your ability to keep your family, doing the neverending housework while trying not to go off the edge, the noise of fighting and jumping driving into your head, being evicted because of the noise your kids make. |
Yup, that sure sounds hellish.
I'm happy my life in no way resembles what you've described. |
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Young FRANKenstein
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)
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| Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Are they the lemmings wrote: |
Is is defeatist to have apprehensions about bringing a child into this world?
Is it overly negative to think a child of mine would likely go through an increasingly poor public education system, live in an environment of rampant political correctness and flagrant consumption, struggle to stay on the right side of the have/have-not divide and feel antipathy towards those on the other side, have considerable public debt foisted upon him/her, etc? |
Any two idiots can *beep* and bring a child into the world, not to mention many more children are brought into the world with the wrong intentions (nobody loves me except this baby, this baby will save the marriage, he won't leave me if I get pregnant, etc). Plenty of people don't think it through, and this is the one thing in their life, even moreso than marriage, that people SHOULD think about before they decide to do it.
However, as a person who has thought long and hard about it for years, and I've decided that not only do I not have the inclination or desire to raise a child, I also recognize far too many of my father's un-parentlike traits in myself that would only be destructive to any child's unbringing (as my dad's was to mine).
I have recognized these flaws in myself and decided that it's best fro all involved that I not become a parent. I always thought I was acting in a responsible manner, thinking of the life I would be brining into this world and not only my own... but many people over the years disagree. It seems *I* am the selfish one, I guess. Not sure how they figure that one, but it's been said often enough of my decision not to have children that it must be true.  |
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Cheonmunka
Joined: 04 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:44 am Post subject: |
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| Many people who make a decision never to have children are on the younger side. Anyone under 25 making that decision I would say, 'Yep, that's natural.' But, life changes come like the wind. |
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Young FRANKenstein
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:54 am Post subject: |
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| Cheonmunka wrote: |
| Many people who make a decision never to have children are on the younger side. Anyone under 25 making that decision I would say, 'Yep, that's natural.' But, life changes come like the wind. |
25? Hell, I was a decade past that when I finally got the Big V. |
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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 1:15 am Post subject: |
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| Cheonmunka wrote: |
| Many people who make a decision never to have children are on the younger side. Anyone under 25 making that decision I would say, 'Yep, that's natural.' But, life changes come like the wind. |
Old people always say that.  |
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Are they the lemmings
Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Location: Not here anymore. JongnoGuru was the only thing that kept me here.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:01 am Post subject: |
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| Young FRANKenstein wrote: |
| [I have] decided that it's best fro all involved that I not become a parent. I always thought I was acting in a responsible manner, thinking of the life I would be brining into this world and not only my own... but many people over the years disagree. It seems *I* am the selfish one, I guess. Not sure how they figure that one, but it's been said often enough of my decision not to have children that it must be true. |
Quite right. People rightly condemn bad parents, but do they praise people who recognise themselves as unsuited for parenthood? Not on your bloody Nellie! They criticise them as selfish.
Those who try and convince people unwilling to have kids to breed should do so only if they're willing to assume responsibility for mess when it all goes pear-shaped. Otherwise, STFU. |
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the_beaver
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:05 am Post subject: |
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Some of the ideas on this thread remind me of an ex-girlfriend.
How exactly is it possible to be selfish to someone who doesn't exist? |
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Young FRANKenstein
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:10 am Post subject: |
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| the_beaver wrote: |
| How exactly is it possible to be selfish to someone who doesn't exist? |
Because you are only thinking of YOURSELF and how it affects/impacts YOUR life and how YOU are no longer as independent as you would like to be.
The same uninformed BS they always say. |
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tomato
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: I get so little foreign language experience, I must be in Koreatown, Los Angeles.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:13 am Post subject: |
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Korea is already so overpopulated that children have to play in the street and families have to grow corn and vegetables in the front yard.
Do you want to add to that problem? |
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endofthewor1d
Joined: 01 Apr 2003
Location: the end of the wor1d.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:17 am Post subject: |
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| Young FRANKenstein wrote: |
| the_beaver wrote: |
| How exactly is it possible to be selfish to someone who doesn't exist? |
Because you are only thinking of YOURSELF and how it affects/impacts YOUR life and how YOU are no longer as independent as you would like to be.
The same uninformed BS they always say. |
you're getting pretty defensive here. maybe i haven't read this thread closely enough, but i couldn't find anyone saying anything bad about you not wanting to have kids. on the contrary, i've seen a lot of support for your decision. |
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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:40 am Post subject: |
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| the_beaver wrote: |
How exactly is it possible to be selfish to someone who doesn't exist? |
My grandma says I'm selfish cause I won't give her "pretty halfbaby greatgrandbabies."
I don't get it either.
I told her she was selfish for having 4 more children after my mother. I told her she should've stopped with one, then had lots of money to give me.
She just glared at me.
<shrug> |
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Young FRANKenstein
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:33 am Post subject: |
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| endofthewor1d wrote: |
| Young FRANKenstein wrote: |
| the_beaver wrote: |
| How exactly is it possible to be selfish to someone who doesn't exist? |
Because you are only thinking of YOURSELF and how it affects/impacts YOUR life and how YOU are no longer as independent as you would like to be.
The same uninformed BS they always say. |
you're getting pretty defensive here. maybe i haven't read this thread closely enough, but i couldn't find anyone saying anything bad about you not wanting to have kids. on the contrary, i've seen a lot of support for your decision. |
No, I'm not being defensive about what is being said here. Most of the people posting to this thread seem to be using their head.
Most of what I've written is in relation to my past experiences over the years, and most of my defensiveness and aggression is towards the people who have vilified my decision, and all the profanity that seems to come to their lips (whose fucking business is it of theirs that I or someone else decides not to have kids--*beep* off!). And they have been numerous, and even included members of my own family. After a while, even the most patient will get defensive about such responses. |
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Manner of Speaking
Joined: 09 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 9:05 am Post subject: |
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| tomato wrote: |
There is a theory that men have an unconscious desire not only to sire children, but to conceive and bear children.
Men make up for this inability through creative work.
When creative artists display their work, they say, "That's my baby!" |
tomato,
Oh, come on. That's just feminist propaganda.  The unconscious expression of a sexist theory that men are nothing more than undeveloped females. Men say, 'that's my baby!' towards things they value and have affection for...whether its girfriends, nephews and nieces, cars, etc.
If men make up for this inability through creative work...how do you explain the fact that so many men do little or no creative work whatsoever. |
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Manner of Speaking
Joined: 09 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 9:09 am Post subject: |
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| Are they the lemmings wrote: |
Is is defeatist to have apprehensions about bringing a child into this world?
Is it overly negative to think a child of mine would likely go through an increasingly poor public education system, live in an environment of rampant political correctness and flagrant consumption, struggle to stay on the right side of the have/have-not divide and feel antipathy towards those on the other side, have considerable public debt foisted upon him/her, etc? |
Not at all...it just shows you're thinking ahead. Even if every generation has its problems, it's natural and logical to think about the future and plan ahead. |
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SirFink
Joined: 05 Mar 2006
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Cheonmunka wrote: |
How so? Perhaps due to: making sure the mortgage is paid and the bank is not writing up a foreclosure, ensuring your family has enough food on the table... |
You left out the part about your wife losing total interest in sex after the baby's born. And her hoo-hahs dropping down to her knees.  |
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