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mistermasan
Joined: 20 Sep 2007
Location: 10+ yrs on Dave's ESL cafe
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 Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 4:22 am Post subject: |
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| no. she wasn't fat. she was...how do they say in Missouri..."juicy"...in the prime of her sexual attractiveness. the pinnacle of her game. ripe for the art of reproduction. 24-26 or something like that. |
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Mix1
Joined: 08 May 2007
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| Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 4:55 pm Post subject: |
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People (both men and women) are hardwired for f**king. This is not dependent on staying with the same partner every time they want to f**k. So, the desire is always there, it just depends how far one wants to take it. People get bored with the same person over time, even if the sex is great.
Depends on the amount of risk too.
I wonder what percentage of people would cheat if there was no chance of getting caught? And I'm talking about women too.
Also, it's funny, for a man to cheat, he has to work a bit to get a woman. He also has to be desirable in the first place (money, looks, etc.)
But for a woman to cheat, well, she basically just has to show up. Men are always coming on to women, and even when they are in a relationship, women love to have men flirt and oogle over them. Even a below average woman can go to a bar, get a little sloppy, and someone will take her home and sleep with her. Can the same be said for a below average guy? No, he'd have to work his arse off to get laid, or pay for it like some do. So, when an opportunity to get laid by another women comes into his life, you can bet a man will think about cheating, but it depends the risk or stakes involved.
As for women, they will sometimes justify cheating by pretending to be "swept up" in the moment of passion. Whereas, according to women, if a man cheats it is usually premeditated and somehow worse than if a women does it. Women sometimes like to try and hold the moral highground when it comes to cheating but they do it too for all kinds of reasons.
Women may cheat if their emotional needs (or desires) are not being met, while a man might cheat if his physical needs (or desires) are not being met. So, if one or the other party goes temporarily outside the relationship to get these needs met, and in turn this helps take pressure off said relationship, is this necessarily bad? If people get hurt, yes. But what if some were mature and brave enough to be realistic and let this happen at times? Is there only one way to define a healthy relationship? Just asking, I'm not a moral prescriptivist (or is it proscriptivist? can't remember now  ) |
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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I once had a guy make the case to me that he wasn't a cheater, he'd never even cheated on his ex when she cheated on him first. Never! Not a cheater.
Some time later we were in honest sharing conversation mode and I asked him why he had never cheated on that ex. He said, lack of opportunity.
*sigh* |
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ED209
Joined: 17 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 6:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Gwangjuboy wrote: |
| I don't think Monica was fat at the time. Was she? |
Maybe all that protein turned to fat. |
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browneyedgirl
Joined: 17 Jul 2007
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| Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Draz wrote: |
I once had a guy make the case to me that he wasn't a cheater, he'd never even cheated on his ex when she cheated on him first. Never! Not a cheater.
Some time later we were in honest sharing conversation mode and I asked him why he had never cheated on that ex. He said, lack of opportunity.
*sigh* |
I used to think that there were really nice, faithful guys out there, but I guess nice guys are just those that didn't have the opportunity. |
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Mix1
Joined: 08 May 2007
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| Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 8:34 pm Post subject: |
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| browneyedgirl wrote: |
| Draz wrote: |
I once had a guy make the case to me that he wasn't a cheater, he'd never even cheated on his ex when she cheated on him first. Never! Not a cheater.
Some time later we were in honest sharing conversation mode and I asked him why he had never cheated on that ex. He said, lack of opportunity.
*sigh* |
I used to think that there were really nice, faithful guys out there, but I guess nice guys are just those that didn't have the opportunity. |
I used to think girls were the innocent, moral ones. Turns out they just hide their secrets better than men do. |
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 6:08 am Post subject: |
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| browneyedgirl wrote: |
| Draz wrote: |
I once had a guy make the case to me that he wasn't a cheater, he'd never even cheated on his ex when she cheated on him first. Never! Not a cheater.
Some time later we were in honest sharing conversation mode and I asked him why he had never cheated on that ex. He said, lack of opportunity.
*sigh* |
I used to think that there were really nice, faithful guys out there, but I guess nice guys are just those that didn't have the opportunity. |
I read a book for a class where a man cheats on his wife at the beginning, makes ZERO effort to hide it and gets caught, and then the whole book is about how he misses her so much, he really screwed up... but there's nothing that suggests he regrets cheating (or even getting caught). I didn't get it. It was incomprehensible. My guy friend, HE got it. |
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samd
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
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| Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 6:26 am Post subject: |
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Interesting topic Endo.
I've never cheated, but I've often wondered what would happen if a situation came up at a time when I was vunerable, whether I would stick to my principles.
I've been tested in that I've rejected female attention that could have developed into cheating, but if a sexy nymphomaniac delivery girl knocked on my door while my girlfriend was on the rag, who knows...
What we do in this type of situation is what determines what kind of person we are. Some people good decisions under pressure, while others crumble. |
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Manner of Speaking
Joined: 09 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 7:31 am Post subject: Re: Men are as loyal as their options? |
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| endo wrote: |
I remember watching Oprah a while back and they had former President Bill Clinton on. At one point Oprah brought up the question as to why he cheated on his wife with Monica Lewensky.
Clinton simply responed that he did it because he could.
Basically, he stated that he cheated because the option was open to him.
Are men that weak?
Now some guys deliberately go out to cheat on their significant other. They're bastards. But other guys don't really seek it out, but the option opens up to them and like the moth attracted to the flame, they simply cannot resist as their bodily urges take over.
Now personally I've been tested. I've been in a relationship for two years, not married, but still a fairly stong bond.
But I didn't give into that test. And I definately feel better and respect myself for it. More importantly I can look into my girlfriends eyes.
But still in the dark recesses of my mind I still fantiaize about those past possibilities.
So am I cheating? Am I being disloyal?
Now I passed this one difficult test, but I still do believe that many men (and perhaps even women) are as loyal as their options in their relationships.
Is that true? |
I think he's partly saying "he did it because he could" because it wouldn't/didn't have any terminal impact on his marriage. It's obvious he'd done it before, and that he was repeatedly allowed by his partner to get away with it. If the first time he ever cheated, his wife dumped him immediately, do you think he would have ended up as President?
I'm not blaming Hillary Clinton for Clinton's actions. He was ultimately responsible for what he did. But obviously throughout most of his marriage he's been in a position where he could cheat and escape the consequences.
Think about it. If you were a woman and you cheated on your spouse once, and got away with it, is it possible you would be tempted to do it again if the opportunity arose to get freaky with someone who excited you?
Men who cheat on their spouse should be smacked. Hard. But women who go after married men should be smacked just as hard, IMHO. |
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kimcheechochy
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
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| Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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I think guys have a more instinctive, uncontrollable, animalistic need for sex than women do. Women think it is some kind of emotional connection, but men just wanna get their oil changed.
I bet if some smokin' hot racing girl knocked on your door (when your partner wasn't home) and was looking for a ride on your balony pony, 98% of guys (married, gf, single, doesn't matter) would be hitting the sheets with her before you can say "I love my wife!"
So yep, it's all about opportunities. Sorry ladies.
Come on guys, if you're wife was out, and this girl came a knockin', you wouldn't hit that?
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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| kimcheechochy wrote: |
I think guys have a more instinctive, uncontrollable, animalistic need for sex than women do. Women think it is some kind of emotional connection, but men just wanna get their oil changed.
I bet if some smokin' hot racing girl knocked on your door (when your partner wasn't home) and was looking for a ride on your balony pony, 98% of guys (married, gf, single, doesn't matter) would be hitting the sheets with her before you can say "I love my wife!"
So yep, it's all about opportunities. Sorry ladies.
Come on guys, if you're wife was out, and this girl came a knockin', you wouldn't hit that? |
Women think it's some kind of emotional connection? I know plenty of women who scromp for the sake of scromping. Emotions schmemotions.
I don't think it would be unrealistic to expect a man to weigh things like integrity/love/fear against a single shag and come up with the honourable answer. Who in their right mind would sacrifice a marriage/home/family for a single, possible gonorrhea-infected encounter?
And if they're not "in their right minds" and they're as single-mindedly horny as you say, I simply can't believe they would make it as far as "the sheets" before commencing the getting-of-the-jiggy-with-said-hottie. |
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kimcheechochy
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:12 am Post subject: |
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^Kermo, you're a guy?
Intergrity?  People sell themselves out all the time.
And who said anything about STDs? In my example, she's a clean as a whistle!
According to this website 57% of men have admitted to cheating. I'm sure the number is much higher since many men probably wouldn't admit to it. http://www.infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html
Sorry Kermo. Truth hurts, don't it? |
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endo
Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 1:49 am Post subject: |
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^ Jesus, those stats are absolutely brutal!
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Percentage of marriages that end in divorce in America: 53%
Percentage of "arranged marriages" (where parents pick their sons or daughters spouses) that end in divorce: 3%
Medical field(s) with the highest divorce rate: psychiatrists and marriage counselors
Percentage of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional: 41%
Percentage of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 57%
Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 54%
Percentage of men and women who admit to having an affair with a co-worker: 36%
Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity on business trips: 36%
Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity (emotional or physical) with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law: 17%
Average length of an affair: 2 years
Percentage of marriages that last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered: 31%
Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 74%
Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 68%
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It's interesting how the more rights we give to people the greater the decline on older conservative institutions. Such as marriage.
I really don't know if i believe in marriage. Yeah there is a side in me that wants a family and kids, but I'm not sure if fidelity to one partner is in tune with our genetic makeup.
Last edited by endo on Thu Nov 29, 2007 2:57 am; edited 1 time in total |
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 2:22 am Post subject: |
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| kimcheechochy wrote: |
^Kermo, you're a guy?
Intergrity? People sell themselves out all the time.
And who said anything about STDs? In my example, she's a clean as a whistle!
According to this website 57% of men have admitted to cheating. I'm sure the number is much higher since many men probably wouldn't admit to it. http://www.infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html
Sorry Kermo. Truth hurts, don't it? |
In your example, you provided a photo. She wasn't holding a clean bill of health.
Your website doesn't provide a single reference for the alleged "facts." Which men? When? Who was asking? All these can have an effect on the outcome. |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 3:51 am Post subject: |
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| samd wrote: |
I've been tested in that I've rejected female attention that could have developed into cheating, but if a sexy nymphomaniac delivery girl knocked on my door while my girlfriend was on the rag, who knows.... |
Yeah its hard to judge i guess. However as you say its not that hard to send out signals to prospective willing women that you're not interested before it even gets to that stage. |
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