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peachgaru
Joined: 12 Apr 2007
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 Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 2:59 am Post subject: Dating Korean Men-- Taking it Way Too Fast? |
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deleted bc it's old news.
Last edited by peachgaru on Wed May 28, 2008 3:26 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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peppermint
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 3:09 am Post subject: |
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| I never really dated Korean men, but it jibes with everything I've ever heard from female friends about their experiences, so its' probably safe to say it's just a cultural thing. If he's worth it, a discussion might be in order, otherwise laugh it off as another life experience. |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 3:11 am Post subject: |
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| peppermint wrote: |
| I never really dated Korean men, but it jibes with everything I've ever heard from female friends about dating Koreans, so its' probably safe to say it's just a cultural thing. |
Not ALL Korean guys act this way though. One of my Korean exes told me he loved me 5 months later. The other ones I dated didn't do this either. I guess it just depends on who you meet I've also had a Korean guy come on pretty strong, tone it down for awhile and then start strong again. |
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Boodleheimer
Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Location: working undercover for the Man
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 3:13 am Post subject: |
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i assumed the 'take it too fast' thing was about sex for some reason.
princess, i hate to break it to you, but you're a dude.
and i don't think Koreans really understand 'I love you' in the same way we do. |
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dannylelievre
Joined: 11 Nov 2006
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 3:26 am Post subject: |
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I am a guy, so this may not be of much use, but I've known a good portion of the korean girls I meet who end up "loving" me after a week or two. I'm not sure if it is a cultural thing or not. That said, there have been a few others that never got there or did so after 6 months or so.
My friend is getting married to a Korean man, and I think they have been together for only 8 months, and it seemed to take off surprisingly fast. |
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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 3:32 am Post subject: Re: Dating Korean Men-- Taking it Way Too Fast? |
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| peachgaru wrote: |
Basically I'm looking for some other girls to share their experiences. I started dating this guy who seemed really great at first-- polite and very well educated, but he's taking things waaaaay too fast. The texting, the incredibly early "I love you"s and the desire to be with me in all my free time is too much for me.
Is this a common experience? I'm just wondering if this is a cultural thing... |
Yeah, it's pretty common. Just tell him to knock it off. If he doesn't, dump him. |
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cibomatto
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Joined: 30 Aug 2006
Location: NY
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:06 am Post subject: Re: Dating Korean Men-- Taking it Way Too Fast? |
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| peachgaru wrote: |
Basically I'm looking for some other girls to share their experiences. I started dating this guy who seemed really great at first-- polite and very well educated, but he's taking things waaaaay too fast. The texting, the incredibly early "I love you"s and the desire to be with me in all my free time is too much for me.
Is this a common experience? I'm just wondering if this is a cultural thing... |
Im not a girl but knowing alot of korean guys (Im not gay not thats that wrong) they tend to be serious daters as oppose to casual.. Either way they are pretty blunt if they just want a play toy or a level of serious relationship.
Given that I would talk to him and let him know how his perceived aggressiveness makes you feel. Good solid communication from the start cant hurt. |
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peachgaru
Joined: 12 Apr 2007
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:41 am Post subject: |
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Thanks for the input.
Everything about him seemed great until after a few dates. Beginning to think that like a previous poster stated, perhaps Koreans use "I love you" much more liberally than Westerners. This is the same with k women I suppose?
Yea, I'll talk to him. . . |
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paquebot
Joined: 20 Jun 2007
Location: Northern Gyeonggi-do
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:50 am Post subject: |
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Upon hearing that there is a Korean girl that I like who is not prepared to date right now, the advice from most of my female Korean friends has been: "it's very important to say you love her!"
I gather this means that there is at least one demographic of Korean females who expect to have a guy tell them this early in their relationship or as a way to make them feel that he is serious about dating before agreeing to a 'more than friends' commitment. To go along with others then, it sounds like an innocent (from his point of view?) cultural difference. |
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Mix1
Joined: 08 May 2007
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:59 am Post subject: |
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| KWhitehead wrote: |
and i don't think Koreans really understand 'I love you' in the same way we do. |
Yep. I think they use the word "love" as synonymous with "current infatuation/interest"
They just tend to throw the words out there very lightly. The chicks do this too, then two weeks later they never message again with no explanation as to what went wrong. If that's what "love" is, then I'd rather do without it and the headgames.
Don't worry about it. He's likely got a Korean chick on the side anyway. Saying the "L" word just provides easier access into your pants.
If it really is love, you won't have any doubts. |
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crusher_of_heads
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:04 am Post subject: Re: Dating Korean Men-- Taking it Way Too Fast? |
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| Atavistic wrote: |
| peachgaru wrote: |
Basically I'm looking for some other girls to share their experiences. I started dating this guy who seemed really great at first-- polite and very well educated, but he's taking things waaaaay too fast. The texting, the incredibly early "I love you"s and the desire to be with me in all my free time is too much for me.
Is this a common experience? I'm just wondering if this is a cultural thing... |
Yeah, it's pretty common. Just tell him to knock it off. If he doesn't, dump him. |
Corporal would be proud. |
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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:06 am Post subject: Re: Dating Korean Men-- Taking it Way Too Fast? |
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| crusher_of_heads wrote: |
| Atavistic wrote: |
| peachgaru wrote: |
Basically I'm looking for some other girls to share their experiences. I started dating this guy who seemed really great at first-- polite and very well educated, but he's taking things waaaaay too fast. The texting, the incredibly early "I love you"s and the desire to be with me in all my free time is too much for me.
Is this a common experience? I'm just wondering if this is a cultural thing... |
Yeah, it's pretty common. Just tell him to knock it off. If he doesn't, dump him. |
Corporal would be proud. |
What happened to Corporal, anyhow? |
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Okibum
Joined: 28 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:16 am Post subject: Re: Dating Korean Men-- Taking it Way Too Fast? |
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| peachgaru wrote: |
Basically I'm looking for some other girls to share their experiences. I started dating this guy who seemed really great at first-- polite and very well educated, but he's taking things waaaaay too fast. The texting, the incredibly early "I love you"s and the desire to be with me in all my free time is too much for me.
Is this a common experience? I'm just wondering if this is a cultural thing... |
I have been dating my Korean boyfriend for about 5 months now, and in the beginning I thought things were going too fast, but now I am more comfortable. The first time he told me he loved me I took it as a cultural difference. He means "I care about you." I have come to the conclusion that Korean couples do spend all their free time with each other. He may just think you want to spend all your free time with him because that is what he expects you to want. (I tried writing that as clear as possible, I hope it makes sense). Be honest with him. Good luck. |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:22 am Post subject: Re: Dating Korean Men-- Taking it Way Too Fast? |
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| Okibum wrote: |
| peachgaru wrote: |
Basically I'm looking for some other girls to share their experiences. I started dating this guy who seemed really great at first-- polite and very well educated, but he's taking things waaaaay too fast. The texting, the incredibly early "I love you"s and the desire to be with me in all my free time is too much for me.
Is this a common experience? I'm just wondering if this is a cultural thing... |
I have been dating my Korean boyfriend for about 5 months now, and in the beginning I thought things were going too fast, but now I am more comfortable. The first time he told me he loved me I took it as a cultural difference. He means "I care about you." I have come to the conclusion that Korean couples do spend all their free time with each other. He may just think you want to spend all your free time with him because that is what he expects you to want. (I tried writing that as clear as possible, I hope it makes sense). Be honest with him. Good luck. |
Again, I think it's a person thing, not a Korean thing. REALLY????? All Korean couples soend all their free time together? I don't think so. I know Korean guys who spend time with their coworkers, buddies, family, etc. They do not spend all their free time with their girls. Even the married ones. I know 2 Korean guy who have both only been married since May of last year. I have seen both of them show up at a bar in the wee hours of the morning alone or with buddies. Where was wifey? Who knows? It's an individual thing...not a Korean thing. Also, I would think many Korean men would think us white girls want so much freedom, thanks to idiot feminists. I am a codependent gal who likes to spend a lot of time with a boyfriend. I think some Korean men think all white women are die-hard, don't do anything nice for me, I can do it myself types. But, I'm NOT like that. So, see, it's hard to judge Korean men based on one or two. Just like all white girls aren't leave me alone feminists. I'd be happy if a guy I liked called me 10 times a day...that is if I liked him. |
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crusher_of_heads
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!
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| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:26 am Post subject: |
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| princess, I will see you at Hooters this Sunday. |
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