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social gatherings at work
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Holden



Joined: 19 Feb 2003
Location: Korea

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 9:56 pm    Post subject: social gatherings at work Reply with quote

My boss expects us to go out ot dinner once a month. Now I don't mind free food, but inevetibaly we are together for over two hours (until the boss stands up). The last place I want to be on a Friday night after a long day is hanging out with my boss and coworkers.
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Skarp



Joined: 22 Aug 2003

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmn - so don't go?

Thank Mr boss politely and say you can't attend. Of course it may make for problems but a boss who will make problems like this will make them anyway......


Best probably to never start attending such gatherings, rather than to try and stop.


I am new here - just about to start a job and wondering myself how best to handle these cultural questions. I feel the less they know about me and my life the better. The less they know me as a person the better. Familairity breeds contempt - in both directions.

Skarp
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Holden



Joined: 19 Feb 2003
Location: Korea

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 10:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Skarp wrote:
Hmn - so don't go?

Thank Mr boss politely and say you can't attend. Of course it may make for problems but a boss who will make problems like this will make them anyway......


Best probably to never start attending such gatherings, rather than to try and stop.


I am new here - just about to start a job and wondering myself how best to handle these cultural questions. I feel the less they know about me and my life the better. The less they know me as a person the better. Familairity breeds contempt - in both directions.

Skarp



It's hard to say noEveryone just stares at you and asks why over and over. It's especially hard being the only foreigner. Your half the reason for the dinner. There's seems to be litle regard for a personal life.
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ulsanchris



Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Location: take a wild guess

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 11:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't knock it
I"ve worked at places that would never or hardly ever take out the staff. I"ve always enjoyed the night out with my coworkers. It s only one night a month, don't worry. I don't mind hanging with koreans.
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Arthur Fonzerelli



Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Location: Suwon

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 11:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

give it a shot...you might have fun...and its always FREE FOOD.... Laughing
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Derrek



Joined: 15 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 12:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went to an "MT" party recently, and was loathing being one of the only foreigners there. I had a blast. Glad I went.

I'd go, but i can understand why you aren't thrilled with the idea of a monthly thing.
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weatherman



Joined: 14 Jan 2003
Location: Korea

PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 2:33 am    Post subject: Re: social gatherings at work Reply with quote

Holden wrote:
My boss expects us to go out ot dinner once a month. Now I don't mind free food, but inevetibaly we are together for over two hours (until the boss stands up). The last place I want to be on a Friday night after a long day is hanging out with my boss and coworkers.


Socializing after work with who you work with is a big part of Korean culture. Suck it up and do it, it will make you life smother in the end. It is only once a month as you say.
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rapier



Joined: 16 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 3:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Likewise I've always disliked those big group dinners. The paranoia, the stunted communication, the Korean vs the Foreigner section, the awkwardness, or if you're the only foreigner, the total lack of communication towards you save for some pathetically simple flattery......
"You know, you so good with chopsticks !!!"
Give me a break, these dinners are tension- filled extensions of work. I much prefer to invite my Korean co-workers out for individual meals or drinks, a lot more rewarding. I'm not a group person....
If you can't avoid these gatherings, stay for a short while, make some polite conversation, then do like I do: make your excuses, stand up, and leave.
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FUBAR



Joined: 21 Oct 2003
Location: The Y.C.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 3:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know what you mean, although, the dinners were pretty fun at my school. But here are a few ways out.

1) It's a friends birthday and you must attend
2) A friend is leaving Korea that weekend. It's their going away party.
3) You have a date

There are alot of things you can do. Or you can arrange to meet your friends afterwards. Get a good buzz on with your co workers, then simply excuse yourself b/c you have plans with some other friends. Your co-workers will understand. As long as it looks like you are putting in some effort you "should" be ok.
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ratslash



Joined: 08 May 2003

PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 3:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i don't mind the free food and drink, but everyone, about ten - fifteen people, smokes at my school. horrible being sat round a table with that many people smoking. still, have enough to drink and, strangely, i don't seem to mind anymore! Laughing
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hadeshorn



Joined: 30 Jul 2003

PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 6:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I usually organise after work dinners. But im beginning to regret going. It is always more Koreans then us.

Also it sucks because I like one of the korean teachers and being in a social setting also makes it hard. I just came from one of these work dinners actually and I bailed early because I just couldnt stand sitting across the table from her.

Also I have noticed drinking to much makes me an angry person. Not to other people. Just inward.
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eamo



Joined: 08 Mar 2003
Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 7:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What do you mean? You don't want to socialise with your co-workers? I don't know where you come from but socializing with co-workers is normal where i come from.
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princess



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia

PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 8:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A lot of times, though, your boss will be saying you are not sociable enough if you fail to hang with your coworkers all the time. A former boss in Korea said I seemed lonely because other tecahers were always paling around at work and I was not socializing enough. Hey, some of us just like to be quiet while we work. I don't go to work for a social club.
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Arthur Fonzerelli



Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Location: Suwon

PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 8:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hadeshorn wrote:
I usually organise after work dinners. But im beginning to regret going. It is always more Koreans then us.


I have news for you.....YOU'RE IN KOREA...NOT SASKATECHWAN....
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just because



Joined: 01 Aug 2003
Location: Changwon - 4964

PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 8:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love the social gatherings at my workplace. We go out once a month and get tonked. The true personalitites of the Korean teachers come out and for some we form freindships and the work dynamic becomes a little bit better.
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