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Newbie



Joined: 07 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whatever advice you get here, remember, nothing is written in stone. More and more Korean families are becoming less traditional. Tell your friend to ask the dude what would be expected of her.
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Rae



Joined: 10 Oct 2007

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tsgarp, you're right. What was I thinking? So what if this is an expat community in Korea where numerous of people are actually in a similar position Rolling Eyes

To whatever: I'm a girl. She's one of my good friends. I'm leaving for Korea. She knows no Koreans aside for him. Is it really that hard to understand?
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Juregen



Joined: 30 May 2006

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

NightSky wrote:
mindmetoo wrote:
If they plan to stay in the states, no probs. If they plan on moving to Korea, she will be a slave to her mother in law. Loads of Korean women here avoid marrying a first born male. They actually like to spend their holidays not slaving away for their mother in law.


but the OP already explained it wasn't a Korean woman. And the rules are different for non-Korean wives of Korean men.


Not wholly.

If as a wife you want to keep a positive relationship with the family, you will probably take over some duties. Especially health care and such, hospital visits, etc ...
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Yu_Bum_suk



Joined: 25 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some points to consider if they live in Korea:

- He should be able to afford to pay someone to take care of his parents but may still feel obligated to do something himself.

- There are annoying mother-in-laws the world over, but the MIL-wife of oldest son relationship in Korea can be hell if they don't get along.

- Koreans who don't know she's a born American may think that she's a mail-order bride and that her husband was a desperate loser.

- Their children could have a much harder time at school than mixed Korean-white kids.
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NightSky



Joined: 19 Apr 2005

PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 4:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Juregen wrote:
Not wholly.

If as a wife you want to keep a positive relationship with the family, you will probably take over some duties. Especially health care and such, hospital visits, etc ...


Are you a wife? How would you know?
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Rae



Joined: 10 Oct 2007

PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 9:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Update on my friend: She's passed the "should I continue getting to know him" phase and will see how it goes. She got the info she needed; my work here is done Very Happy I hope it goes well for them. Thanks for all the insight and advice, it was very much appreciated. Special thanks to those that pmed me their personal stories.

Here's to finding love when you least expect it! (Especially if it comes in the form of a Daniel Henney look-alike!) *crosses-fingers* Laughing
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browneyedgirl



Joined: 17 Jul 2007

PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rae wrote:


Here's to finding love when you least expect it! (Especially if it comes in the form of a Daniel Henney look-alike!) *crosses-fingers* Laughing


How can you not expect it when you're secretly expecting it? Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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Rae



Joined: 10 Oct 2007

PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 6:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A girl can wish! LOL
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