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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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crusher_of_heads
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!
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 Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 2:01 am Post subject: |
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| wormholes101 wrote: |
Although the responses have been amusing, I think you guys aren't really getting the idea of the thread.
Tell us something you know because of your work/experience/etc. that others might not know...
For example...
My uncle/aunt rent the claw machines that allow you to get stuffed animals (regularly found in arcades places) and I found out that the way that thing works is that it has a timer that changes the claws strength. Therefore, if you are playing when the claw is on strong, you are almost guaranteed to get the stuffed animal. In other words, the claw can be weak for 20 min, then switch to strong for 2 min, and then to weak again for 20 min. Those times are adjustable. |
I'm telling! |
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bejarano-korea
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 2:27 am Post subject: |
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| Are they the lemmings wrote: |
| bejarano-korea wrote: |
If stuff from your office goes missing like biscuits, chocolates and teabags it is more than likely night security!  |
My chocolate Hob Nobs... that was you?! You scoundrel! Very well, I'll forgive you if you tell me a tale of how you, as a night watchman, foiled a burglary of some sort. |
I'll tell you a tale about how I got the sack from the said job.
I worked nights for 'Vanguard' security at a place called Bewsey School in Warrington. It wasn't a school anymore as it was took over by Warrington social services and was the social and elderly care/adoptions/child care
centre for the town.
Thus it was full of women working there and thus they always had a surfeit of chocolate, biscuits (especially packs of chocolate hob nobs ) tins of roses and quality street knocking around on their desks and cupboards.
My job was to look after the place from 7pm to 7am.
What I did in reality was sit in a chair and spend the 12 hours sleeping or watching new wave European cinema from Denmark, Holland or the Czech republic using the video for the CCTV camera. 
But at the start of my shift I would pilfer as much chocolate, biscuits and tea bags as I could lay my hands on.
After a month or so, there were this huge notice in black felt tip pen on the wall saying 'WATCH OUT! THERE IS A THIEF ABOUT'
I laughed as I shoved a pack of kit kats and a big jar of Nescafe into my pocket.
One day the boss of the child protection depatrment accused me of stealing their biscuits and teabags and whatnot.
'Me??? I'm the security guard! I'm insulted that you would think that'
Well after he left I broke into his locker and stole a load of his teabags and his tolberone chocolate! I also swapped the sugar in his brew kit for salt! That'll teach him...
Anyway about 1am I would get my head down till around 5 to 7 which was the time the cleaners came in.
I always had vivid dreams while working there, this one I will remember as long as I live was me in the ring with Mike Tyson in Las Vegas, Michael Buffer made the announcments and the anthems were played and the bell for the first round went... but instead of the bell stopping it carried on and on...
And I woke up from my dream and I could still hear the bell.... Oh Christ
it was the alarm.
I woke up to find out that the offices across the way had been burgled, I had slept through someone (or a gang) driving through the metal gates smashing them and smashing a huge window before nicking a load of computers, laptops and a safe.
My boss and his oppo were at the scene 5 minutes later.
'What happened? did you not hear what was going on'
'Errrrrr pardon' (Still half asleep)
Why has someone smashed through the gates and nicked up to 50 grands worth of stuff?
'I were on patrol like'
'Bollocks, the area of this place you have to patrol is the size of my back garden, we have already had complaints about you stealing the tea and biscuits from the employees at this place'
'I resent that accusation! It's just not true! I don't even like biscuits, tea and that kind of shit!'
'Check the CCTV camera Bill', he said to his oppo
Bill goes 'I found this in the video machine boss' waving of my European new wave video collection into his face 'Mammaries are made of this' in one hand and a half eaten pack of chocolate hob nobs with a sticker note taped on the side with 'SARAH Bs PROPERTY DO NOT TOUCH! written all over it in his other hand.
Oh shite!
I resigned there and then without further notice! (Stick your job up your arse)
It wasn't all bad, it is part of the slow moving chain of how I managed to end up in Korea!
EDIT: Remembered some of other things that happened that day and decided to share with you! 
Last edited by bejarano-korea on Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:17 am; edited 2 times in total |
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PRagic
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
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| Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 2:47 am Post subject: |
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| There's no need to iron the back of your shirt if you know you'll be in a suit all day. |
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PRagic
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
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| Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 2:48 am Post subject: |
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| There's no need to iron the back of your shirt if you know you'll be in a suit all day. |
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shetan
Joined: 24 Apr 2006
Location: In front of my PC.
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| Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 8:48 pm Post subject: |
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| bejarano-korea wrote: |
| Are they the lemmings wrote: |
| bejarano-korea wrote: |
| If stuff from your office goes missing like biscuits, chocolates and teabags it is more than likely night security! |
My chocolate Hob Nobs... that was you?! You scoundrel! Very well, I'll forgive you if you tell me a tale of how you, as a night watchman, foiled a burglary of some sort. |
I'll tell you a tale about how I got the sack from the said job.
I worked nights for 'Vanguard' security at a place called Bewsey School in Warrington. It wasn't a school anymore as it was took over by Warrington social services and was the social and elderly care/adoptions/child care
centre for the town.
Thus it was full of women working there and thus they always had a surfeit of chocolate, biscuits (especially packs of chocolate hob nobs ) tins of roses and quality street knocking around on their desks and cupboards.
My job was to look after the place from 7pm to 7am.
What I did in reality was sit in a chair and spend the 12 hours sleeping or watching new wave European cinema from Denmark, Holland or the Czech republic using the video for the CCTV camera.
But at the start of my shift I would pilfer as much chocolate, biscuits and tea bags as I could lay my hands on.
One day the boss of the child protection depatrment accused me of stealing their biscuits and teabags and whatnot
'Me??? I'm the security guard! I'm insulted that you would think that'
Well after he left I broke into his locker and stole a load of his teabags and his tolberone chocolate! I also swapped the sugar in his brew kit for salt! That'll teach him...
Anyway about 1am I would get my head down till around 5 to 7 which was the time the cleaners came in.
I always had vivid dreams while working there, this one I will remember as long as I live was me in the ring with Mike Tyson in Las Vegas, Michael Buffer made the announcments and the anthems were played and the bell for the first round went... but instead of the bell stopping it carried on and on...
And I woke up from my dream and I could still hear the bell.... Oh Christ
it was the alarm.
I woke up to find out that the offices across the way had been burgled, I had slept through someone (or a gang) driving through the metal gates smashing them and smashing a huge window before nicking a load of computers, laptops and a safe.
My boss and his oppo were at the scene 5 minutes later.
'What happened? did you not hear what was going on'
'Errrrrr pardon' (Still half asleep)
Why has someone smashed through the gates and nicked up to 50 grands worth of stuff?
'I were on patrol like'
'Bollocks, the area of this place you have to patrol is the size of my back garden, we have already had complaints about you stealing the tea and biscuits from the employees at this place'
'Check the CCTV camera Bill', he said to his oppo
Bill goes 'I found this in the video machine boss' waving of my European new wave video collection into his face 'Mammaries are made of this'
Oh *beep*!
I resigned there and then without further notice! (Stick your job up your arse)
It wasn't all bad, it is part of the slow moving chain of how I managed to end up in Korea! |
Oh man that was funny story.
I hope I never hire you, but funny story anyway! |
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xtchr
Joined: 23 Nov 2004
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| Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 1:15 am Post subject: |
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| Hanson wrote: |
"Placentas don't stick to the mop, so you hafta pick it up with your hands*, and put it in here."
- The dude who trained me to clean/sanitize delivery rooms.
*In his defense, he was wearing gloves at the time. |
Some cosmetics are made out of sheep placentas, which are (used to be anyway) collected and sold by the bucket, each spring in NZ. No mop to use, gloves if you're really lucky and your boss (farmer) is health and safety conscious. Gross. |
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cdninkorea
Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 1:23 am Post subject: |
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| bejarano-korea wrote: |
| Well after he left I broke into his locker and stole a load of his teabags and his tolberone chocolate! I also swapped the sugar in his brew kit for salt! That'll teach him... |
Thank you for that! |
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bejarano-korea
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 2:21 am Post subject: |
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| shetan wrote: |
| bejarano-korea wrote: |
| Are they the lemmings wrote: |
| bejarano-korea wrote: |
| If stuff from your office goes missing like biscuits, chocolates and teabags it is more than likely night security! |
My chocolate Hob Nobs... that was you?! You scoundrel! Very well, I'll forgive you if you tell me a tale of how you, as a night watchman, foiled a burglary of some sort. |
I'll tell you a tale about how I got the sack from the said job.
I worked nights for 'Vanguard' security at a place called Bewsey School in Warrington. It wasn't a school anymore as it was took over by Warrington social services and was the social and elderly care/adoptions/child care
centre for the town.
Thus it was full of women working there and thus they always had a surfeit of chocolate, biscuits (especially packs of chocolate hob nobs ) tins of roses and quality street knocking around on their desks and cupboards.
My job was to look after the place from 7pm to 7am.
What I did in reality was sit in a chair and spend the 12 hours sleeping or watching new wave European cinema from Denmark, Holland or the Czech republic using the video for the CCTV camera.
But at the start of my shift I would pilfer as much chocolate, biscuits and tea bags as I could lay my hands on.
One day the boss of the child protection depatrment accused me of stealing their biscuits and teabags and whatnot
'Me??? I'm the security guard! I'm insulted that you would think that'
Well after he left I broke into his locker and stole a load of his teabags and his tolberone chocolate! I also swapped the sugar in his brew kit for salt! That'll teach him...
Anyway about 1am I would get my head down till around 5 to 7 which was the time the cleaners came in.
I always had vivid dreams while working there, this one I will remember as long as I live was me in the ring with Mike Tyson in Las Vegas, Michael Buffer made the announcments and the anthems were played and the bell for the first round went... but instead of the bell stopping it carried on and on...
And I woke up from my dream and I could still hear the bell.... Oh Christ
it was the alarm.
I woke up to find out that the offices across the way had been burgled, I had slept through someone (or a gang) driving through the metal gates smashing them and smashing a huge window before nicking a load of computers, laptops and a safe.
My boss and his oppo were at the scene 5 minutes later.
'What happened? did you not hear what was going on'
'Errrrrr pardon' (Still half asleep)
Why has someone smashed through the gates and nicked up to 50 grands worth of stuff?
'I were on patrol like'
'Bollocks, the area of this place you have to patrol is the size of my back garden, we have already had complaints about you stealing the tea and biscuits from the employees at this place'
'Check the CCTV camera Bill', he said to his oppo
Bill goes 'I found this in the video machine boss' waving of my European new wave video collection into his face 'Mammaries are made of this'
Oh *beep*!
I resigned there and then without further notice! (Stick your job up your arse)
It wasn't all bad, it is part of the slow moving chain of how I managed to end up in Korea! |
Oh man that was funny story.
I hope I never hire you, but funny story anyway! |
Thank you Shetan... all true by the way!
My work history and CV apart from the army is more chequered than a chess board!
As for hiring me - no offence taken! I think my boss over here regrets it half the time!  |
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bejarano-korea
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 2:24 am Post subject: |
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| cdninkorea wrote: |
| bejarano-korea wrote: |
| Well after he left I broke into his locker and stole a load of his teabags and his tolberone chocolate! I also swapped the sugar in his brew kit for salt! That'll teach him... |
Thank you for that! |
No worries! If you want a 1000 and 1 ways to wind up your *beep* of a boss... pm me! (Might not work in Korea though ) |
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nobbyken
Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Location: Yongin ^^
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| Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:04 am Post subject: |
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| rockstarsmooth wrote: |
i jerk off in my office.
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Some people watch you  |
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rockstarsmooth
Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Location: anyang, baybee!
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| Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:37 am Post subject: |
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| nobbyken wrote: |
| rockstarsmooth wrote: |
i jerk off in my office.
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Some people watch you |
no they don't.
rss
 right now i'm listening to: the stooges - gimme danger |
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Are they the lemmings
Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Location: Not here anymore. JongnoGuru was the only thing that kept me here.
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| Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:40 am Post subject: |
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| bejarano-korea wrote: |
| [...]a tale about how I got the sack from the said job. |
Hilarious! That's worth all the stolen chocolate Hob Nobs--plus a few more! |
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lastat06513
Joined: 18 Mar 2003
Location: Sensus amo Caesar , etiamnunc victus amo uni plebian
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| Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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This didn't happen to me, but to my Kiwi co-worker back in 2000.......funny story........................
He used to go to a gym near his hogwon in Yangjae. Well, one day he finished his workout later than usual and had to get to work directly from the gym. Now, the nimrod wore his drawers while exercising and they were all sweaty, so he decided to "go commando"- he just flung on his pants along with his shirt and shoes and he was out the door.
......He had to cross the street by going down into the subway tunnel to the exit across the street.......well, in the subway, people would look at him and give him horrified looks and scampered off. He came upon a group of high school girls walking by him, they started shrieking as they ran. He stopped to think what was going on and it was only then that he felt fresh air going into his pants. He looked down and noticed his zipper was open and "peter" was peeking out..........
DUDE! When he came to work that day...Boy! Was his face red as hell!!!!!
That was some funny *beep*!!!!!! |
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Easter Clark
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Location: Hiding from Yie Eun-woong
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| Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:19 am Post subject: |
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I used to work for a customer "Service" call center for all of those products you buy from infomercials in the US. Day 1 of training they said "Do whatever you can to get the caller off the phone within 5 minutes, and never give them your extension. If they demand action, tell them you're going to ask your supervisor, put them on hold for 1 minute, then tell them there's nothing you can do."
I can't count how many times I had to tell someone their exercise video would arrive "within 2 weeks" (standard answer for when we didn't have a clue!).
Lesson learned: Never buy anything off of TV! |
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Young FRANKenstein
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)
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| Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:08 am Post subject: |
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| Juregen wrote: |
| Any ISP can track 100% what you are doing with your internet connection. |
As a former sysadmin, we all had a blast laughing at the websites people were visiting and the newsgroups they were reading/posting to... all as plain as day, without even the need to search for it. The logs were automatically generated of all traffic that came through us. |
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