Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Young FRANKenstein]

Please be advised that there are new rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our program.

DRESS CODE
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.

SICK LEAVE
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

ANNUAL LEAVE
Each employee will receive 52 personal days a year. They are called Sundays.

TOILET USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicle. At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy! You are allowed to use the rest room only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet doors also.

SURGERY
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more,so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to the EPIK program.

We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

[spliff]

Misleading and stupid to boot, congratulations!

[rusty1983]

This is old news. I got it years ago at my really crap job back home.

[Young FRANKenstein]

[caniff]

Are they hiring? I could really use some discipline (and I've been feeling to good about myself lately).

[Hanson]

[chris_J2]

Lol!

[Stormy]

Funny stuff, though from what I've read the part about sick leave is pretty much based in fact!