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Korean Job Discussion Forums "The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
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| Date a smoker? |
| I would not date a cigarette smoker. |
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55% |
[ 47 ] |
| I would date a person who only smoked cigarettes occasionally (only when they drink, etc.). |
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15% |
[ 13 ] |
| I would be fine dating any cigarette smoker. |
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28% |
[ 24 ] |
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| Total Votes : 84 |
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Flash Ipanema

Joined: 29 Sep 2006 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:38 am Post subject: |
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| Justin Hale wrote: |
| Draz wrote: |
I said stats for Canadians IN KOREA. |
I gave you the stats for in Korea. I gave you the stats for all Canadians, which includes Canadians in Korea. You Canadians are the good guys, because there's a 30% chance that a random American is obese and 23% chance a random Brit is obese. I've lived in Britain and America where on average 1 in every 3.3 to 4 girls had an ass like this. It reduces the numbers of potential mates for guys, which is bad for the species.
| Draz wrote: |
| It doesn't matter anyway, since even in this case if you flip it around I have at least an 80% chance of not being fat. I'll take those odds. |
That's what I say when Korean friends or colleagues make a wise crack about East Asians having substantially lower rates of obesity. Still, on the dating market in Korea and Japan, girls from an English-speaking country, if they seek dates, are up against women 97% of whom are not obese, so, as I say, it might help if you're a looker if you're coming to Asia and gonna be picky. It is one's right to be picky in any way we see fit, of course, but let one's dating options be the judge of how successful it is. I'd date a smoker, a Muslim, a Bushie, a crackpot Christian and this has proved a successful strategy throughout life, since it's years since I last sat at home and played with myself.
| twg wrote: |
Yeah, I don't get it either. He's had it pointed out to him a dozen times buy a few women that his views of "Uppity cows getting celibacy forced upon them (like they forced upon me back home)" here in Korea just isn't true.
Typical resentment of the Charisma Man. Nothing to be done about it except roll your eyes. |
Well, it's always fun to watch people sink to the depths of cheap shots and ad hominem.
Anyway, twg, that's old news and this is a different discussion. Actually, I do check out your blog and I respect your view because you've been a hagwon jockey in Korea since 1921 and I must concede that my knowledge of all things Korea is poor compared to yours. As I said though, this is a different discussion. I haven't said "girls who are this picky, become less picky or you won't get any". I have said that if you seek dates in Korea and can afford to be what I regard as unnaturally picky, congratulations on being absolutely stunning and having the pick of the crop!
| Littlelisa wrote: |
| Heh, I personally translated it as "(Justin says:) be easier for me to score with, dammit! Be a bit more desperate!" |
You've more chance of Rteacher and Junior becoming atheists.
| Draz wrote: |
| He likes younger women because they are the only ones dumb enough to fall for it. Hey, we've all been there. Or maybe that's just me. |
Oh dear, what a condescending attitude to take towards the young!
Anyway, I'm in my late 20s now and women who are 5 years older than me are substantially less attractive than they were 5 years ago and girls in their early 20s are more likely to be attractive than girls in their late 20s and early 30s. Female attractiveness is bound inextricably to youth and fertility. I like younger women because as one gets older, the girls start to lose it a bit. Men in their late 20s dating girls in their early 20s is common. Older guys and younger girls finding one another attractive is a very well-researched area of evolutionary psychology. |
So basically what you're saying is that in order for a foreign woman to get a man in Korea we have to be a young-fertile-non-smoking-yet-smoking-hot-thin-as-a-Korean-girl because evolution dictates it?
Why do you keep posting stats and going on about "evolutionary psychology" like they're the answer to everything? How can you tell people they're wrong because of their OPINION? I'm a social smoker but I wouldn't date a heavy smoker. And I would quit in a second for the right, and will never smoke again when I decide I want to start a family. I am far more attracted to personality than appearance. Not saying appearance doesn't count, but I've passed on plenty of hot guys because they were stupid, racist, immature, only interested in partying, strongly religious, conservative etc. Attractiveness is based on a wide variety of things, not just attractiveness. To hell with statistics, I'm going with life experience. |
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faster

Joined: 03 Sep 2006
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 3:29 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, evolutionary psych is in its infancy and is still pretty controversial, even when practiced by people who ought to know what they're talking about.
I find the trickled-down armchair version of it barely more credible than the ravings of Gurdjeff, Ousspensky, or Wilhelm Reich, and arguably less useful.
People who toss it around as amateurs and dilettantes generally do so as justification for some Neanderthal behavior or thought pattern that they're afraid of letting go of.
Luckily time has a way of weeding out the laggards. |
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Flash Ipanema

Joined: 29 Sep 2006 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:47 am Post subject: |
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| faster wrote: |
| People who toss it around as amateurs and dilettantes generally do so as justification for some Neanderthal behavior or thought pattern that they're afraid of letting go of. |
Like the men who try to justify cheating and sleeping around as "spreading their seed". And yet they complain about gold-diggers who, evolutionarily speaking, are simply looking for a stable, secure mate. |
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Ilsanman

Joined: 15 Aug 2003 Location: Bucheon, Korea
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:56 am Post subject: Re: Would you date a cigarette smoker? |
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You should bang him/her first to see if he/she is any good.
| aaabank wrote: |
I went out earlier tonight with some members of the opposite sex. Two of them were new acquaintances to me and one in particular I was immediately attracted to for the reasons that people are attracted to each other.
A few hours into the night and the person lights up a cigarette. To me, this person instantly became someone who I would never get into a relationship with.
How would you feel if a person you were attracted to were to be a smoker? |
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faster

Joined: 03 Sep 2006
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:03 am Post subject: |
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| Flash Ipanema wrote: |
| faster wrote: |
| People who toss it around as amateurs and dilettantes generally do so as justification for some Neanderthal behavior or thought pattern that they're afraid of letting go of. |
Like the men who try to justify cheating and sleeping around as "spreading their seed". And yet they complain about gold-diggers who, evolutionarily speaking, are simply looking for a stable, secure mate. |
Yep. If Evoloutionary Psych was around to this degree forty years ago, I'm dead certain the racist anti-Civil Rights crowd would trot it out similarly, "but preferring those who look like me is my evolutionary prerogative, Dr. King..." |
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Justin Hale

Joined: 24 Nov 2007 Location: the Straight Talk Express
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:34 am Post subject: |
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| Flash Ipanema wrote: |
| So basically what you're saying is that in order for a foreign woman to get a man in Korea we have to be a young-fertile-non-smoking-yet-smoking-hot-thin-as-a-Korean-girl because evolution dictates it? |
Let�s summarize what I�ve said: I feel refusal to date a smoker is crazily picky and a little arbitrary if the smoker works out and the non-smoker is a couch potato, which is statistically common. I�ve just never come across this extreme aversion to tobacco in conversations in real life. Human beings, all animals, are influenced hugely by sexual instincts. Sex, mating is very important and to forego sex and companionship because the other party smokes tobacco to me is, well, odd! It�s so odd that adherrents are likely telling fibs, exaggerating or are just odd, profoundly odd, people.
So, given that these people will not date a smoker in a country where most guys compete for Korean girlfriends (which makes sense because there are millions of them) and where many of these guys smoke (because cigs are so cheap), it might be an idea to have qualities that will sell you to guys who don�t smoke and are chasing Korean girls, because, as we know, Korean girls tend to be slim, attractive and interested in white guys and the West. Otherwise, I�m of the view there�s a potential for difficulty finding a mate, but others disagree with me.
| Flash Ipanema wrote: |
| Why do you keep posting stats and going on about "evolutionary psychology" like they're the answer to everything? How can you tell people they're wrong because of their OPINION? |
I haven�t told anyone they�re wrong. I�m merely expressing MY opinion and such an opinion happens to be backable by scientific research and millennia of natural selection. Yes, I have a strong opinion. Yes, I�m arrogant and like to argue. Yes, I think the 20-30% of women in AUS/NZ/UK/USA who are obese, the ultimate turn-off, are a genuine threat to society because the market for potential mates is only 70% of what it would otherwise be if these people ate properly and took exercise. Don�t even get me started on low fertility rates. Let�s explore some more:
Western guys in Korea will almost certainly (a) compete for Korean girls, (b) be in their 20s or 30s, meaning (chiefly Korean) girls in their early-mid 20s will be likely targets�.and very possibly (d) smokers.
Their Western counterparts, likely the same age group, are playing a risky game by entering the marketplace with a strict no-smoker policy, unless they have some quality that blows away the opposition. If you have the phwoar factor, be as picky as you like. If not, be careful not to price yourself out of the market because there are millions of Korean girls who are good-looking, slim, nice girls.
| Flash Ipanema wrote: |
| I am far more attracted to personality than appearance. Not saying appearance doesn't count, but I've passed on plenty of hot guys because they were stupid, racist, immature, only interested in partying, strongly religious, conservative etc. Attractiveness is based on a wide variety of things, not just attractiveness. To hell with statistics, I'm going with life experience. |
Sure thing. Also, women�s subconscious pushes them towards men who will protect them and their children and a tall man because height suggests he either has good genes or comes from a wealthy background. Taller men are reproductively more successful than shorter men, suggesting women actively select tallness when they go looking for male partners.
This is interesting.
Faster gasped:
| Quote: |
Yeah, evolutionary psych is in its infancy and is still pretty controversial, even when practiced by people who ought to know what they're talking about.
I find the trickled-down armchair version of it barely more credible than the ravings of Gurdjeff, Ousspensky, or Wilhelm Reich, and arguably less useful.
People who toss it around as amateurs and dilettantes generally do so as justification for some Neanderthal behavior or thought pattern that they're afraid of letting go of.
Luckily time has a way of weeding out the laggards. |
Sexual preferences have been moulded by millions of years of natural selection. Human behaviour is driven greatly by evolutionary processes. It�s a thoroughly evidenced slice of reality. |
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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006 Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:38 am Post subject: |
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| Where's a yawning avatar when you need it? |
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lucas_p
Joined: 17 Sep 2007
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:49 am Post subject: |
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| Justin Hale wrote: |
I haven�t told anyone they�re wrong. I�m merely expressing MY opinion and such an opinion happens to be backable by scientific research and millennia of natural selection. Yes, I have a strong opinion. Yes, I�m arrogant and like to argue. Yes, I think the 20-30% of women in AUS/NZ/UK/USA who are obese, the ultimate turn-off, are a genuine threat to society because the market for potential mates is only 70% of what it would otherwise be if these people ate properly and took exercise. Don�t even get me started on low fertility rates. Let�s explore some more:
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What about the equal amount of obese guys giving women less to choose from? |
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Justin Hale

Joined: 24 Nov 2007 Location: the Straight Talk Express
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:51 am Post subject: |
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| lucas_p wrote: |
What about the equal amount of obese guys giving women less to choose from? |
Judging by my visit to Itaewon this evening, quite a few of them are there. |
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crusher_of_heads
Joined: 23 Feb 2007 Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:53 am Post subject: |
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In the immortal words of Bartleby the Scrivener....
"I would prefer not to."
and yes, I honestly have used that to drop the hammer on a girl.
It's better than throwing a girl down the stairs...princess, just take my word for it
right now I am listening to CBC Radio One out of Montreal
Last edited by crusher_of_heads on Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:17 am; edited 1 time in total |
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faster

Joined: 03 Sep 2006
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 6:30 am Post subject: |
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| Justin Hale wrote: |
| Sexual preferences have been moulded by millions of years of natural selection. Human behaviour is driven greatly by evolutionary processes. It�s a thoroughly evidenced slice of reality. |
Sure, but not necessarily in ways you understand, and in ways that change and feed back on themselves. We've come a long way as a species, from a time when most sex was most likely rape (as is so common in the rest of the animal kingdom), to a time when even the thought of raping someone is an insurmountable turnoff to most.
By what metric is it useful to excuse our current prejudice and myopia as an inevitable result of a multitude of factors so large and multifarious that the math is well-nigh impossible? |
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crsandus

Joined: 05 Oct 2004
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 8:23 am Post subject: |
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| crusher_of_heads wrote: |
In the immortal words of Bartleby the Scrivener....
"I would prefer not to."
and yes, I honestly have used that to drop the hammer on a girl.
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Wow, "drop the hammer" is right, I think I'd rather get rejected with a line like "I wouldn't date you in a million years you ugly freak." than a line like yours. If I got the ugly freak rejection, I could at least hate the girl and think that she was shallow and not worth my time, but if a girl told me "I would prefer not to." I'd think that she actually thought about the idea and logically came to her conclusion (not that that's necessarily true). I'd be saddened.
CoH: Not an attack on you but just a random comment
OP: I'd date a light/social smoker but I'd personally see it as a negative feature and she would have to have many positive features to outweigh that one negative. The smoking wouldn't bother me so much in the dating process but it'd bother me in a serious relationship and it'd be a major roadblock if it came to marriage/kids. Heck, I'd fight tooth n nail to get her to quit if it was time to have kids. |
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jajdude
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:05 am Post subject: |
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| yingwenlaoshi wrote: |
| If she smokes the pole, she can smoke the coal. |
Good one. Let me try.
If she likes it raw she can take a draw.
How's that for johnny on the spot? |
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yingwenlaoshi

Joined: 12 Feb 2007 Location: ... location, location!
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:06 pm Post subject: |
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| jajdude wrote: |
| yingwenlaoshi wrote: |
| If she smokes the pole, she can smoke the coal. |
Good one. Let me try.
If she likes it raw she can take a draw.
How's that for johnny on the spot? |
I have a new one, but I might get banned if I submit it. Anyway, the possilities are endless. So many words that rhyme. |
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mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 3:15 pm Post subject: |
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| lucas_p wrote: |
| Justin Hale wrote: |
I haven�t told anyone they�re wrong. I�m merely expressing MY opinion and such an opinion happens to be backable by scientific research and millennia of natural selection. Yes, I have a strong opinion. Yes, I�m arrogant and like to argue. Yes, I think the 20-30% of women in AUS/NZ/UK/USA who are obese, the ultimate turn-off, are a genuine threat to society because the market for potential mates is only 70% of what it would otherwise be if these people ate properly and took exercise. Don�t even get me started on low fertility rates. Let�s explore some more:
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What about the equal amount of obese guys giving women less to choose from? |
Do these obese guys have lots of cash? |
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