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Korean friends
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Carmy



Joined: 12 Apr 2007
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 4:41 am    Post subject: Korean friends Reply with quote

How many of you have any?

Sorry if this question has been asked before, but I'd just like to know out of curiosity who here actually has friends from Korea. And what are the friendships like? Do you think that after your time here in Korea is done, you'll still be mates with them?

A friend of mine who saw my pics on Facebook commented that she thought she'd see a lot of Korean people in my pictures yet she hasn't seen many at all.

Now I'm not saying it's their fault, but sometimes I wonder why I managed to make such awesome friends in the other two countries I lived in, one was England, so there wasn't a language barrier at least, but the other one was Brazil and I went there not knowing much Portugeuse and some of my friends don't even speak English at all, yet I met fantastic people who I am still friends with two years later.

Kinda sad I reckon, that I live in the country yet I can't say I have any
친구s from here.
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luvnpeas



Joined: 03 Aug 2006
Location: somewhere i have never travelled

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find it difficult. There are a lot of false positives: Korean who seem friendly, but actually only want to practice their English, or are curious and see you as a novelty, or see an appreance of friendship with a Westerner as a status symbol.

I am friendly with several Korean teachers within the work environment, but there are no Koreans I spend time with for fun. It is frustrating and disappointing. I find Korea a lonely place.
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dimitri31



Joined: 24 Oct 2006

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
managed to make such awesome friends in the other two countries I lived in, one was England, so there wasn't a language barrier at least, but the other one was Brazil and I went there not knowing much Portugeuse and some of my friends don't even speak English at all, yet I met fantastic people who I am still friends with two years later.


i love brazil! i lived there for about a year and a half, and met some of the friendliest people ever in my life. apart from the corruption, poverty, and bureacracy, i still hope to settle there because of one thing in particular ---- the people.

Quote:
I find it difficult. There are a lot of false positives: Korean who seem friendly, but actually only want to practice their English, or are curious and see you as a novelty, or see an appreance of friendship with a Westerner as a status symbol.


that's been my experience as well. i have, however, met a couple of Koreans who hasve genuinely seemed interested in a friendship.
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Newbie



Joined: 07 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

6 years, no friends.

Back when I was single I knew some guys I liked to go out drinking with, but that didn't last. Over the years I've met some guys at the gyms, most of them ended up being pretty annoying. These days the Korean men I meet are all in-laws. Most of them have been pigs, wanting to take me whoring when our women go home. Not my cup of tea.


There's a lot to think about:

As teachers, we see mostly female Koreans. Many factors limiting the friendships there:
1. bosses telling them not to associate with us
2. stigma of guy/girl friendship
3. they're scared
4. they have hubbies/boy friends who wouldn't react well to the frienship
5. they're hot and I want more than friendship
6. I'm hot and they want more than friendship.

Another serious problem is just Korea in general and their inability to accept foreigners. Let's face it, we're freaks to them. This is a receeding trait, but still very visible.

As well, if you were a Korean would you put much effort into someone who is most likely just gonna be around for a year?
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spliff



Joined: 19 Jan 2004
Location: Khon Kaen, Thailand

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some of the teachers at school I'd consider friends but we don't do anything socially outside of Mens club.

Back in the 90's when I first came here I lived in Cheonan and had 4 or 5 good friends and we hung out constantly. But those were different times.

My best friend is my wife...but, she's not Korean. Very Happy
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crazy tigger



Joined: 06 Aug 2006

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a group of really good Korean friends, all of them bar one have lived in the West though so this probably makes a difference. I can't imagine being here and not having Korean friends though.
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SHANE02



Joined: 04 Jun 2003

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes I have some good Korean friends who I get together once or twice a week to jam with. We have some miss-understandings but I don't take anything to seriously. We just get together and have fun.
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kiwiduncan



Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

SHANE02 wrote:
Yes I have some good Korean friends who I get together once or twice a week to jam with. We have some miss-understandings but I don't take anything to seriously. We just get together and have fun.


I think this is the key - just go out and meet locals who you have shared interests with, whether it's music, sports, arts or social issues. It's nice to go out for dinner with students from time to time but you'll probably find that the Koreans who you share a real passion about something with will be the people who become proper long term friends.
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nicholas_chiasson



Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Location: Samcheok

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

-I guess you people are either fluent in Korean, or know Koreans who speak more English than "You know Korean Soju?"
-At least I can drink with them.
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mr. positive



Joined: 02 Jan 2008
Location: a happy place

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was thinking about this this morning... as a married guy, I'm not interested in making friends with Korean females, so that leaves the guys. And in general, Korean guys are either wimps (the nice word for it) or total dickheads. I did have two Korean friends when I lived in Seoul, but now that I'm in Bundang, I don't see them. One of them was a guy who was my roommate from his days studying in the U.S., and the other was somewhat of a wimp but not enough so that he didn't have his own ideas and opinions about stuff in life.

Like a previous poster said, this makes Korea a lonely place indeed. My general take is that since we don't have a place in the pecking order, the atittude of the vast majority of Koreans is to just to play it safe and not befriend foreigners. Sorry for not living up to my namesake, but this really is one of the hardiest things about living here for me.
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kiwiduncan



Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

nicholas_chiasson wrote:
-I guess you people are either fluent in Korean, or know Koreans who speak more English than "You know Korean Soju?"
-At least I can drink with them.


Considering I've been here for over five years my Korean is still pretty crappy - especially my listening Sad . I spend too much time reading anti-canal websites and too little time watching crap Korean dramas, so my vocabulary is far better than my listening. Still, it's decent enough to get by when talking with people about stuff that I'm really interested in.

The good thing about speaking a bit of Korean is that it evens out the relationship. You spend as much time speaking Korean as they spend speaking English and, even if the conversation is far from fluent, it opens up whole new world of people to talk to.
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Css



Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Location: South of the river

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yep..but they are all girls..
I find it almost impossible to make real korean guy friends..its frustrating.
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DaeguKid



Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Location: Daegu

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

been here five years plus. I have one Korean male friend. My old Hapkido teacher. Why is he my friend, because he sees me as a person and not as a non Korean. Korean guys have tried to befriend me before but it was one of those "oh, hello, nice to meet you...lets be friends!" Seriously, pee off!

My buddy works in Shanghai and his school told him to not even try to make friends. They think different and are on a different wave length.

I got my girl, my cracker boys and their girls...im content!

DK

ps, Spliff, question....your wife understand English? Wink
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Julius



Joined: 27 Jul 2006

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:56 am    Post subject: Re: Korean friends Reply with quote

Carmy wrote:

A friend of mine who saw my pics on Facebook commented that she thought she'd see a lot of Korean people in my pictures yet she hasn't seen many at all.


Koreans don't like to use facebook. Its too much english for them to handle, and they prefer their own cyworld and other websites. Facebook is by and large for westerners.

But yeah, it can be incredibly tricky and tough going being friends with koreans. They tend to pass like ships in the night, usually dissapearing in some mystifying way, after some misunderstanding that they never express .
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ajgeddes



Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Location: Yongsan

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have 2 good Korean friends. A few more on top of that. Every single one of them plays hockey with me, or did at one time. The 2 good friends, both play for my team now.
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