Korean Job Discussion Forums

[actionjackson]

Now when it comes to women I have no problem admitting that I�m completely oblivious. Like many of you here, this isn�t the first country that I�ve lived in outside of my home country. I�ve always been a little skeptical of dating the local women because I was never really sure if they were into me or just looking for that ever elusive green card, so I pretty much keep them at arms length. The weird thing is that I would like to settle down with someone of a different nationality in hopes of exposing possible children to various cultures. Language is usually the factor for things really not working out anyway. Here�s the point.

Last week I asked one of my Korean co-workers (I�m the only foreigner) if he (Doug) wanted to go and see Jumper (he�s the only one who has shown interest in hanging out). He said sure. He ended up asking the only female Korean co-teacher (Gertrud) if she wanted to go, she said ok. Now Doug teaches privates on Saturday and doesn�t get done until later but said that Gertrud wanted to get together early and have dinner and practice her English, I had no problem with that. Most of you know that although Koreans can read and write, when it comes to speaking and listening, they�re crap at it (in my experience). I figured I�d be doing my good deed for the day. Doug calls up and cancels, wife is sick and he has to look after the new baby, that�s fine. He�d mentioned it earlier in the week. Now the week passes and Gertrud talks to me as much as usual, which is barely and only work related, fine with me. Friday she asks if I want to have lunch on Saturday, sure what else have I got to do. So Saturday we have lunch then go for coffee.

First question out of the gate, do you believe in love at first site? Now I�m scanning for the exits. 2 teenage girls, a middle aged couple, an adjoshi, probably faster to go through them then around. I figure I can be out the door and lost in the crowd within 5 seconds, mental notes taken. Then I remember that Koreans don�t really have a sense of personal space or boundaries so I just go with it. Conversation wanders all over the place, plastic surgery, differences in American and Korean weddings, destinations to visit, places to see around Korea, etc. At one point in time it sounded like she said that she told her parents about me and they wanted to meet me, I figured I�d misunderstood her and she said friends. Possible hot friends, how could you say no (I�ve met one that was pretty cute)? I�d mentioned that I had only planned on being here a year and she starts in with having babies in America. Now I�d just read about Koreans going to US territories to have kids and just thought this was the new trend, no real alarm. Then she drops the B-Bomb. Since I�d met her, 3 months ago, I�d known that she had a boyfriend. I know because I asked upon meeting her, she asked me first and I thought I was being polite asking back (I�m not good at conversation). Apparently though because he smokes like a chimney, is drunk about half the week, and the 6-8 hour a day pc bang hobby she decided that after about 7 years it was time for a change. Now with this new information all flags go up and all alarm bells start going off. She had already started trying to set something up for Sunday, plus there was a lot of talk of doing many other things together. The word together came up a lot in a very little time. Naturally I happened to remember that I was running late for a thing that I had to do with some people some place else and said see you at work on Monday.

Now, did I overreact or was I justified in my actions? I�ve heard that Korean women are either looking for English lessons (which I don�t really have a problem with in this circumstance) or a husband. Just looking for any input from anyone who has experience in these sorts of matters

[Chris Kwon]

She doesn't sound like a winner.

On another note, Koreans need to stop picking English names! Many of them pick the worst names ever, especially ones that don't suit them all, Gertrud? Gertrud??????????????????????? Are you kidding me? Gertrud!

[actionjackson]

The names have been changed to protect the innocent and to add a little humor to the whole thing.

[Chris Kwon]

Thank God!

[shaunew]

Sounds like someone will get their dinky stinky.

[nomad-ish]

she was definitely sizing you up. she probably dumped her bf because she waited for 7 years trying to get him to agree to marry her, so she figures she better not waste any more time. thus, right to the point!

i find many koreans just don't get the "i'm not interested" vibe, i suggest you lie to her and tell her that you just started dating someone. save her a bit of hurt and yourself from a bad situation at work by not trying to explain you're not interested. if you say that you just don't date people at work, well, you never know what she'd do

[actionjackson]

My contract actually states that I will not date people from work, I have that to fall back on.

[cbclark4]

This will get messy please write back on Monday.

[SuperFly]

Have you ever heard of the ladder theory?

Basically what it says is that women are hoes. Here's, here's the deal... when a woman first meets you she puts you on a ladder. She decides whether or not she wants to have sex w/you right then. So, you can't be friends with her because you can't ever change her mind, she puts you on a ladder and if she wants to get down w/you, she will, but if she doesn't wanna have sex w/you instantly then she'll never ever wanna get down w/you ever and, and it's because women are shallow hoes...they say they want a guy with a sense of humor, but what they really want is a guy with a 73-inch dock and 7 Porsches and 83 billion dollars. Because they're hoes.

http://www.laddertheory.com/foundations.htm

It's more than one page, so be sure to click next at the bottom of that first page.

[Mi Yum mi]

[anyway]

[nicholas_chiasson]

[nicholas_chiasson]

[Julius]

It can be hard to dissapoint people who think you're great.....^^

[isthisreally]

Yeah Korean women can be very upfront and aggressive about getting the guy. I've been consistently surprised with their lack of subtlety and even pushiness.