Korean Job Discussion Forums

[idonojacs]

Based on reports of what is being required under the new E-2 regulations, a picture is beginning to emerge of exactly what Korea is looking for in a native speaking ESL teacher.

Let's see, you need to be from a country where English is the/an (??) official language. OK, I can live with that, though that does eliminate folks from Scandinavia, etc., who may actually speak English better than I. Not that I could imagine why a Swede would want to work in Korea.

You must never have used any narcotics, or presumably, any illegal drugs. Hmmm, that eliminates a few Americans, and other citizens of the Big 7 English speaking countries. Anyone want to hazard a guess on what percentage? Truth be told, there would probably only be about 15 native speakers left in Korea if everyone were honest.

You must never have had any communicable disease. Well, that wipes out 99.99 percent of native speakers, unless you were vaccinated for mumps, chicken pox, etc. But last I heard, a cold is communicable, as is athlete's foot, both of which you will acquire soon after arrival in Korea.

You must never have been treated for any mental illness, and must be completely, certifiably sane. And they expect you to come to Korea?

According to one applicant, they also require a slew of medical tests:

http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=114874&highlight=

Based on this, it appears you must be cavity free. Keep on brushing with Crest, folks.

You need good eyes. Nobody wears glasses here, I guess.

You need good blood pressure. Well, that's an old rule: need a pulse.

Now they're getting fancy: Need a good EKG. So I guess you need a real pretty pulse.

You need good blood. But don't worry, they won't require that you donate any in Korea; I hear they won't even accept it if you offer.

You need good urine. This one really ticks me off.

And you need a health set of lungs. Don't smoke. No TB test, though?

So, to sum up, it appears Korea is only looking for Westerners who are crime free, drug free, perfectly sane, good eyesight, good heart, good lungs, good blood, good urine, no cavities, never had a communicable disease.

Of the roughly 300 million people living in the United States, how many would you estimate would qualify for a job teaching English in Korea?

I can think of only one: Mitt Romney. I hear he is looking for a job, recruiters.

Of the above tests, which ones actually have a bearing on your ability to teach English?

None.

Does anyone here fit the bill of Korea's perfect ESL teacher? Don't all answer at once!

If they wanted to test something relevant, how about testing your spelling ability and your knowledge of grammar. But the one thing that is relevant, they don't test.

You must have a diploma from an accredited college, but that's hardly a guarantee of mastery of the English language.

Korea is clueless.

[captain kirk]

Captive born and raised, neutered (big red bums during mating season, etc.) chimps might do the trick. Beep, they can't speak English. Next!^^

[SuperHero]

[idonojacs]

OK, what's your estimate, SuperHero?

[Whistleblower]

Don't forget the CELTA.

[diablo3]

They want the genetic elite without paying for it.

I guess it's a conspiracy to reduce inter-racial marriage or at least mix with the best.

[SuperHero]

[idonojacs]

SuperHero

[bassexpander]

[NightSky]

[ESL Milk "Everyday]

To tell the truth, I don't see what the big deal is about the medical tests or the criminal check. Then again, I also don't have anything to hide... and I don't go around telling students or parents or my boss about how great it was to be able to see sounds and hear colours in high school.

I think the new regulations are, like most things in Korea, a big show to give up the appearance of something having been done. And once again, the people who stand to lose will do whatever they can to get around these regulations-- kind of like when they tell people that their new teacher has heaps of certifications and is perfectly qualified to teach. They will do this not because they really care about you or think you're great-- they will do this because they stand to lose money, they need people to work for them, and they need to preserve their reputation.

This isn't really about cracking down on the foreigners, it's about pretending to be responsible, and pacifying the parents and the old guys in charge, at least until they die and their more open-minded offspring take over.

[Whistleblower]

[saw6436]

The perfect native speaking ESL teacher would not be in Korea on an E-2 visa.

[drunkenfud]

I'm reminded of an older thread, accompanied with pictures of Justin Tmberlake and Heidi Kulm.

http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=106786&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=justin+teacher&start=15

The "ideal" would be:

Justin teacher
Twentysomething

Perfectly handsome, thin, and tall. No piercings, no tattoos, no strange hairstyles. Ivy league english degree with a minor in Korean Studies. Has a perfect midwestern American accent which he loves to provide free English lessons with. Doesn't show any interest in Korean women except reverance to the fact that they are the most beautiful in the world, which is why he can't consider being with one, and he prefers the company of his male students for drinking and karaoke. Is really happy to make a low salary and have a small studio apartment, because he wants to teach for the sake of teaching. Loves kimchi, but acknowledges that it is too spicy for foreigners, compared to the hamburgers and pizza they eat every day.


Justin Teacher's wife,
Heidi Teacher
Twenty-something

Perfectly gorgeous, blonde and tall. Perfect complexion, which she attributes to Korean facial cleansers. Always wears formal, stylish pantsuits and skirts to class. Wears heels everywhere, even when hiking. Never exposes shoulders, even on hot summer days (except for this photo, as it was a modeling campaign supporting the recognition of the evils Japan inflicted on Korea). Ivy league English degree with a minor in International Relations. She was contemplating law school back home, but gave it up for the chance to nourish young asian minds. Understands Justin's 'reverence' for Korean women, but loves him nonetheless. Would even love him if he beat her, but of course he wouldn't do that. Her hobbies are working overtime at her hagwon and cooking delicious seaweed soup and burgers for her husband. She respects black people, but doesn't associate with them closely, as they may cause trouble.

[GerryTulip]

PHd. (language based of course) and a eunuch.

This teacher would have the required teaching skills to work in the ever so advanced hagwon system and there would be no chance of him polluting one of the last remaining pure gene pools in the world.