Korean Job Discussion Forums

[curlygirl]

So you all know the drill right? Upon meeting a new Korean over a meal the conversation will run pretty much like this:
Korean: So how long have you been in Korea?
Waygook: I've been here a year.
Korean: Have you eaten Kimchi before?
Waygook: (Thinks to self - I just told you I'd been here for a year. Do you really think I haven't eaten your national dish in that whole time?)
Yes I've eaten it many times.
Korean: Ooooh, isn't our food too spicy for you?
Waygook: (Thinks to self - you've just been watching me wolf down everything on the table and I haven't keeled over gasping for water yet. Why are you asking me this?)
No it's not so spicy at all. I really like Korean food, the spicier the better.
Korean: Oh, can you use chopsticks?
Waygook: (Thinks to self - what the f**k? Yeah eating with chopsticks ranks right up there with brain surgery on the difficulty scale. And you've been watching me eat with them for the last few minutes for crying out loud.)
Uh...actually I don't find it particularly difficult, especially after a year's practice.

And so it goes on.
Today I finally vented to my Korean friend about these inane questions that I get subjected to. I put it to him that it's not so much the questions themselves that bother me, but the exclamations of "wow" and "really?" when I demonstrate any form of competence, such as my seemingly incredible ability to notice and follow their table manners. "I'm 36 years old. Why do Koreans treat me like a child?" I asked.
"Oh but most Koreans don't have good English skills so they ask simple questions. They want to be polite and include you in the conversation and this is all they know." Well yeah, but that still doesn't explain the "wow" factor I provoke when wielding my chopsticks.

What's your take on this? Are they well-meaning but lacking English skill, or are they patronizing? Your thoughts?
By the way, this was the first time I'd vented in my whole first year so I don't think I qualify as a whinging waygook!

[pocariboy73]

You're friends are just being polite. I know it's frustrating to hear, it gets old, etc, but they really don't know better.

It gets to me too, but I have to think sometimes how hard it must be for them to speak in their second language and the lack of them knowing how often we hear the same comments/questions.

You try engaging in "small talk" using Korean and see how far you get.

[tfunk]

Curlygirl, did you write that post by yourself? It's really good, keep up the good work.

[regicide]

[idonojacs]

Yeah, I got that at a recent dinner when a teacher warned me about the green chili peppers. Hot! Hot!

I put up with it for the better part of a year, but it is getting old.

Theoretically, we should express astonishment, grimace and shout HOT! HOT! after eating the peppers. Then beg for a glass of water.

Would that make them happy?

But I can't quite get myself to do that. These are the mildest peppers I think I have ever tasted short of a bell pepper.

Instead, I am going to buy a bottle of Louisiana hot sauce for every teacher who warns me against eating the peppers.

I brought a bottle in with a spoon for the teachers to taste after the last incident.

What do you put it on, he asked?

Food, I answered. We don't usually drink it out of the bottle.

Where did you get if from, he asked?

The Lottes down the street.

He was quite surprised to learn that Americans use hot sauce, that it is made from FERMENTED peppers, and that it is available in Korea.

The Bulliard's Louisiana Supreme Hot Sauce is the easy one to find, 1,200 to 1,800 won. Back home it was 50 cents or sometimes 3 for a dollar. It's one of the milder hot sauces, but still enough to make an impression.

I found some Bulliard's Louisiana Supreme Habanero Pepper Sauce for 1,800 won. Habanero is of course the hotter pepper, but this stuff is kinda watered down.

And I found Frank's RedHot Original. This is a thick hot sauce that is a less expensive version of Tabasco Sauce. Frank's was 1,200 won. Tabasco is 5,500 won for 3 ounces here! Tabasco is better, but not that much better.

If I were back home, I'd get them some of the really hot stuff to try. But hey, this is Korea.

I think a better way of avoiding this whole thing is to bring a case of hot sauce when you come, and give a bottle to each of the teachers at your school.

[ajgeddes]

Yet, you are the first person I have ever seen to write Bundang with a 'P'

[regicide]

[peppermint]

Curlygirl, anyone who's taught English at an elementary school in Korea can tell you that dialogue is nearly word for word from the Grade 6 text book. There's a chapter where the Korean kids invite their foreign friends over for a meal during Seollal, that follows that pattern exactly, and the kids spend at least a couple of weeks on it.

I'm not sure which came first, but the book is useless as an educational tool, might as well make it a scape goat.

[Ya-ta Boy]

Yes, the whole thing is annoying, but Peppermint has a point. It isn't the average Korean's fault they were fed misinformation and erroneous stereotypes in school. And there is something to the 'low level of English' angle, too. Plus, many know that the idea of privacy/personal is different, and that adds to the difficulty of finding a safe topic of conversation.

I keep my temper in those 'Oh, you use chopsticks very well' moments by saying I can catch flies with my chopsticks like Jackie Chan...and then try to move the conversation on to some more interesting topic.

[pugwall]

[Yu_Bum_suk]

I just have fun with it. 'Have you tried pizza with no corn or sweet dill pickles? Can you use cutlery? Why didn't you wait til after 30 to get married? etc.' - sometimes they catch on that I'm taking the piss out of them and sometimes they don't.

[curlygirl]

Point well taken Peppermint. I can definitely understand (and sympathise with) the lack of more thoughtful questioning bring learned in classes. But...it's the overly enthusiastic responses I receive when I demonstrate any sort of skill that bugs me. It's like when a toddler is learning to walk and talk and the new parents clap their hands in glee every time baby manages to do something successfully - "Oooh lookee, isn't it so clever?" That's not in a textbook is it? Praising my limited language skills is one thing, but nearly wetting yourself with excitement because I can use a bus card is really taking patronizing behavior to a whole new level. "Sigh".

And yep, I always spell Pundang with a 'P' because I dislike the over-simplified Romanisation of Korean

[spliff]

I think curlygirl is a bit immature, IMHO.

[peppermint]

[Tjames426]

It is hard to explain all the misunderstanding that goes on here.

First off, the discussion about Kimchi and chopsticks is not about your eating habits. It is about picking safe talking points with a stranger. You are a foreigner. They have no idea what subjects would lead to losing face or an embarrassing situation.

The possibility of losing face is the most disastrous aspect of any conversation with an equal. You are a fellow teacher. They do not want to lead into an area which might cause embarrassment. They are being careful not to ask or do anything that would upset you.

So, they pick things that are the most obvious given the situation, Food.

Your relationship with your Korean co-workers is superficial. They are not going to talk about anything that might cause disagreement. They will pick safe topics. If you consider superficiality to be childish, then to you -- it is childish. To an Asian, it is a safe potential conversational starter with someone they do not know.

**

I suggest you ask them about their families. What about their wives or husbands? Their children? Where did they grow up? Where did they go to University? Why do they work in this city?

Safe and easy topics for a Korean that will lead into other areas of discussion.