Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Rumple]

I now have experience dating women from Japan, China, Korea, and the USA, and I have come to the conclusion that generally, Western women aren't for me. Not because of some sort of flaw, but because of cultural differences.

Basically, I don't like American dating culture, and the rules and assumptions that come with it.

For example, if you don't hug or kiss most Americans by the second or third date, they think you don't like them. The subtext here is that simply going out on a date with someone doesn't necessarily mean you like them! You have to watch them for "signs" that they are interested. Are they making eye contact? Do they laugh at your jokes? Is there sexual tension? On and on ad infinitum. So, knowing that our culture damn near requires certain levels of intimacy at certain points, makes most people bound by those things. So maybe I want to wait and see with a girl, 5 or 6 dates before I show her I like her...I've had girls say "Hey, can I get a hug?" with a "What's wrong with you?" tone after 3 dates. Damn! Why does everyone have to move so fast?

And the funny thing is, I'm not a guy who has never moved fast before. I've just done it and decided it wasn't for me.

Then, besides this, there are the little social cues that people observe, and then attach their own meaning to. Is the way she touches her hair a sign of insecurity? Is the way he smiles a sign of confidence? Whatever! Half the assumptions drawn this way are wrong anyway, in my opinion.

Dating outside my own culture has allowed me to cut through all the cultural bullshit.

I'm not saying there are no Western girls fit to date me, or anything like that. I'm sure there are girls out there I'd click with great. I just think its too bad that our culture hinders my ability to get to know them in the emotionally healthiest possible way.

[Passions]

Ok.

[Privateer]

Let me get this straight. You're complaining that the girls you date want a hug?

P.S. Don't kid yourself this is about "dating culture". It's about you.

[RobinR]

[Scotticus]

[isthisreally]

[RobinR]

I have never had a first date where I didn't get at least a kiss. Canadians, french, Japanese. Don't hate the game, hate the guy who can't play it.

[GoldMember]

[VanIslander]

[agoodmouse]

Hasty conclusion about Westerner and American women. You're essentially obliterating the chance to meet billions of women. Human nature underlying dating cultures is the same: you'll receive good and bad experiences concerning expectations and assumptions on the first date whether you date Western women or non-Western women. Again, billions of women. What a world you've made for yourself in the corner.

[Yu_Bum_suk]

Maybe you've just been dating the wrong kind of American. Are you aware of all the millions and millions of young Christian women (and ones into their 30s who are getting desperate), who also want to spend some time to get to know you, and what you think of her personal Saviour, before making much contact? Mega churches across the Bible belt are just full of this type. You could probably find an endless supply of 20- and even 30 something sexually self-repressed virgins who are just fine waiting five or six dates for any physical contact. Or better yet, a 30-something who's suffering from a decade of guilt from a promiscuous affair she had in her 20s. And if you're into the rubinesque type, rumour has it that these are the women for you.

Seriously, though, the reason I'd be extremely, extremely hesitant to strike up a relationship with a young American woman is that she'll eventually grow up to be a middle-aged American woman. This demographic stratum, white or black, contains the largest per capita number of opinionated hypocrites on the face of the earth, who think that their moral outlook and trivial concerns should burdon everyone while paying no heed to people who have other concerns than theirs.

[agoodmouse]

Scarlett Johansson. Rubenesque.

[Privateer]

[reactionary]

i'm seeing a whole lot of threads that should either be in off topic or current events...it's not that hard to pick the right forum, folks.

[wylies99]