Korean Job Discussion Forums

[hubba bubba]

Since living in Korea, I've realized I'm an alcoholic. Well, honestly, I've known for awhile now I was, but living here has really brought it out. I was cool with it, but I'm no longer comfortable with this lifestyle.

I'm wondering if anyone has actually managed to stop drinking while in Korea, or if there is anyone who can remotely relate to what I'm saying.

[Fishead soup]

I think leaving Korea would be your best option. The problem being that once you sober up you face the real truth you might not like it.

[hubba bubba]

I'm leaving Korea in a few months when my contract is up.

I think I am already facing the real truth. This is an honest post. Please refrain from p-sstake responses.

[Justin Hale]

Sorry to hear about that, buddy. Be clear though. There's being an alcoholic and there's inheriting the disease alcoholism via genes. Ozzy Osborne is an example of the latter. Ozzy couldn't have a beer, because if he had a beer, he'd go on a three day bender and end up under a bridge wearing women's clothes with hardly any recollection of having got there. You're not like that, I assume?

Anyway, next down on the scale, there's waking up and having whiskey for breakfast. I should prolly drink less, but no way do I ever have booze for breaky. That's freaking obscene! Everyone'd be able to smell it. That's the problem with alcohol addiction - it's impossible to hide.

Next up, down the scale, there's a basic dependence on booze where it's unpleasant to abstain for a day - just drinking in the evening though (not morning or during work). This is very common and it's perfectly possible to live a normal, professional life and be essentially addicted though not as severely. I've met so many people who were this kind of alcy.

I've experienced drug addiction myself and what worked for me was a wholesale change in my life.

[mrsquirrel]

It's hard to give up.

I love to drink., but I know it's not for me any more.

It does take work. You will fail some days and slip. That's what happens.

One day at a time

[nicholas_chiasson]

-hm I know AA meetings in Seoul...in English. I know a few non-drinkers here. Mainly you need, as a public school teacher, an excuse to not drink at social functions. To recover from alcholism one has to not drink at all. Liver disease is one reason to give your teachers, another is religon(seriously) and a third is anything else you can think of. The problem is saying "I'm an alcoholic" isn't goint to register with the average Korean male as a bad thing to be.
-And watch your friends...I make fun of guys who drink a little...but always try to befriend those who don't drink at all. Its really tough to want to be around people on a friday night, but knowing half of them will be wallowing in pints, shots, and piss by 11PM. Non drinkers looking for a good time have it pretty bad here all in all.
-Last of all, why don't you try a test first? Give up booze for a month. If you can do it...no hardship. You're just a heavy social drinker. If you keep thinking about the sauce than you have a problem.
-I'm a massive binge drinker...and have a beer almost every day. But I'm not addicted to the stuff, and have soju by myself almost never.

[NilesQ]

www.aainkorea.org lists daily meetings in seoul and contact info

Most people who don't have a problem with alcohol don't devote any time to wondering about whether or not they have a drinking problem. That being said, only you can make that determination. No one else will ever be able to know for sure, except for you.

If you are hurting and need some help, or if you just want somewhere to go so you don't drink on Saturday night, these people will be glad to help you. It is not a cult or a religion. It is just a bunch of people who try not to drink today and give support to others who are trying not to drink today.

Good luck and I hope you find some peace with this issue. Listening to people in AA will give you the answer to the question "Am I an alcoholic?" and a solution to the problem if you want it.

[hubba bubba]

Thanks for your responses. It's not really a question of whether or not I am, or to what degree I am. Both my parents are. Everyone in my family is I think, on both sides. It's four oclock and I'm on my second bottle of soju.


I see there are a few people that have stopped. That's what I am interested in hearing about. Thanks.

[bovinerebel]

[Oreovictim]

I'm no expert, but I wouldn't go cold turkey. I remember one addiction specialist comparing alcohol and heroin. "Going cold turkey with alcohol can cause you to die. Going cold turkey on heroin only makes you feel like you'll die." Something like that, anyway.

Good luck

[Easter Clark]

Find a good woman who doesn't like to drink. It's worked for me--before we started dating I would get drunk every night. Now I may have two or three beers a night, or none at all--and the thing is, I don't want to drink when I'm with her.

Also, if you give yourself a reason not to be drunk, that helps too. Mine is chatting in Korean to my gf and friends after work. If I'm drunk, there's no way I can type in Korean!

[hubba bubba]

Thanks again all.

I've been to AA before, but I'm going to look into it again.


I've come to this conclusion because I've once again lost someone really important because I am a horrible drunk. As an alcoholic, you will naturally attract other drunks. I was fortunate to find someone who wasn't a lush. Of course, she deserves better, and found it.

And you know, it's not just about a girl. It's about a repeating pattern in my life.
\
Thanks again to everyone that posted.

[kermo]

I don't know much about alcoholism, but I know how pervasive alcohol-culture is in Korea, and I know a little about compulsive behaviour.

My biggest compulsion is to do with eating. I am often tempted to eat when I'm bored or lonely. Being bored or lonely certainly makes me more likely to drink alone too. Sometimes it helps to ask myself "What is it that I actually want right now?" before I open the fridge. Depression and alcoholism go hand in hand. I would imagine that treating the depression has to happen while you treat the alcoholism.

I can't tell you how to quit drinking, but I can shed some light on a question I've seen here over and over: what's there to do besides drinking?

I've started hanging out with people who don't make it a priority to get hammered, and my lifestyle has definitely changed. Here are some things we tend to do. You could probably do these things while drunk, but it's a start:

board game cafes-- not hard to find. I can recommend my favourites in Gangnam, Hongdae and Jongno. A great way to kill a long afternoon. I've also collected a bunch from all over, so I can play them with friends on evenings or afternoons in.

cooking-- I bought an oven. I invite friends over. I slave over the stove for an afternoon to fulfil their fantasies. It's fun being creative and it passes the time.

writing-- I blog, I occasionally write articles (see The New Yangpa... or what's left of it,) I write letters. It takes some effort and determination, but it's good to flex those muscles and have something to look back on later.

hobbies-- I took up polymer clay modelling lately. I found a place with all the supplies in Express Bus Terminal, and I've been teaching myself how to make jewelry. I don't wear jewelry, really, but I love playing with colour and design, so I'm just making custom stuff for friends. Next I'm going to take up video editing, as a new way to update The Yangpa.

checking out museums, shows, exhibits, etc.-- we keep an eye on the subway adverts, and make it a point to get out of the house and see things like the Van Gogh exhibit, the Mallard Festival, the horse races, whatever.

clubs-- I am the current Seoul Veggie Club president, and I've met some delightful people in the process. Planning and broadcast events is sometimes stressful, but I get a lot of joy when I actually see people show up and have a great time. There are a lot of clubs out there, like for running, poker, frisbee, and so forth.

random sports-- we have a few sporting supplies, so on nice afternoons, we kick the ball around, shoot hoops, even skip rope, just to move. Sometimes it's just a long long long walk.


Anyway, good luck. I hope you find the strength to kick this, and that you uncover joy and energy elsewhere.

[fortysixyou]

[Lunar Groove Gardener]

OP
Niles Q said it all in my opinion.
PM me if you want to discuss it further.
It's a difficult stretch that you're on.
Best to lean on people who've been there.
Regards,
LGG