Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Paddycakes]

Just arrived in Korea recently...

So I took the kids downtown (they're mixed White/Asian) and they attracted a lot of attention from the locals.

Please no "it's KKKorean racism" stuff, they look different from the norm and the human eye is naturally attracted to things that look out of the ordinary.

The question for people with mixed kids here is what kind of "complexes" if any have developed in your children from the extra attention that normal kids don't get.

Over a long period of time, I could see it having an effect.

[Countrygirl]

I've been here since September with the family. We get a lot of attention in general since my husband is the Korean one and I'm the foreigner. None of the attention is bad but the staring in general can get annoying. (One adjuma in particular stopped in her tracks and stared at us for 5 minutes like we were zoo animals - my husband told her in Korean, "Nothing to see here, move along." She went from awestruck to bitter in seconds)

My daughter is sick of people calling her American (she considers herself either Korean or Canadian), and my son is sick of people calling him 'cute' or 'cutie' (at 6 years old he prefers 'handsome'). In general, I don't think that they are getting complexes.

Around home and at school, they play with their friends and life is as normal to them as it was in Canada.

[bassexpander]

One of the challenges my wife and I have been discussing is how to raise the kids so they can speak both languages?

My wife works full-time and earns more. As a teacher, I can adjust my schedule, should I choose to do so. It could very well be that I end up as a part-time "Mr. Mom," which is OK, but I worry that the kids won't learn Korean from me. I fear they'll fall behind other kids in Korea, and have troubles once school starts.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

[JustJohn]

Yes. Speak Korean to them.

[NilesQ]

[igotthisguitar]

Every kind of person is susceptible to developing a "complex".

[laogaiguk]

I would never raise my kids here, even being significantly safer than back home (in some ways). But that's just my opinion.

[Scotticus]

[victorology]

bassexpander, I think your kids will pick up Korean since they live in Korea. I am an American but I lived in Hong Kong for 3 years when I was a toddler and in Seoul for 1 year. English was my first language but I did pick up Cantonese when I was in Hong Kong. My parents didn't speak Cantonese at all and couldn't understand what I would say but I am told I picked it up at nursery school and from our housekeeper. I now have no recollection of ever being able to speak Cantonese.

My mother is Korean and spoke to me in Korean when I was young. My father spoke to me in English. I don't remember but from what people tell me, I spoke Korean as well as anyone when I was young. I would consider myself fluent now but I do speak with an accent. I suppose living in America for 20 years will have that kind of an effect.

As for complexes, I can't really think of any. My cousin who is half white, half Korean is also here in Korea now but he was born and raised in America. In general, we feel we're actually in a better standing than most native Koreans for being Korean American. We don't have to do military service and while the F-4 visa doesn't put us on equal footing as the natives, we feel we get many benefits from being American.

[cbclark4]

[thiophene]

I've heard that when kids are exposed to different languages, their language development is slower at first but it all works out at the end so don't feel too bad or worried when your child isn't as good at speaking at a young age. They've got 2 systems to try to puzzle through.

I grew up in Canada and at home we didnt' speak English, so I learned English in school starting in kindergarten and my proficiency is just fine. Actually there's a slight chance my brother 4 years older than me was the first to introduce me to English, I cna't remember that far back.

On the complex, I'm a half gyopo and I've never felt different, although I grew up in toronto so not too many stares there. But we've all got complexes, I'm sure they'll develop some sort of quirk up in there but it's character.

[Mi Yum mi]

Learning languages? Teach them English and have the Korean parent do the same thing. Ignore the Korean part of their education. They will pick up more Korean in 1 year from TV and playing with their friends than you could in a classroom in 10 years.

[Mr. Pink]

My kid goes to an English kindergarten and after a Korean Taekwondo/Art school. She actually prefers Korean to English...even though her English is pretty damn good. At home I talk English with her, the wife speaks Korean.

I'll say this about a complex though:

She asked my wife why when we were in Canada she started to look "Canadian" but now that we are in Korea, why doesn't she look "Korean".

In Canada it is easier to blind in...in Korea she notices she is different. She wants to be the same as the other kids, but she isn't.

Oh well...gonna head back to Canada soon anyways.

[peppermint]

One of my best friends in Korea was mixed, and he had lived there since middle school. Most Koreans that don't know him would say he's white, but he's fluent in Korean and tends to convince Koreans that he's one of their own without much trouble. No obvious "where do I fit in?" complexes that I could see.

[bassexpander]

Interesting thoughts.

Now, if I could just use my kid/kids to teach my useless ass some Korean once they've learned it!