Korean Job Discussion Forums

[flakfizer]

Make a fake ad for a job here in Korea.

Example:

Wanted: Security Guard

Requirements: Must be a man over the age of 60

Duties: Sit in a booth/shack for hours. Try to look busy on recycling day.
Preventing break-ins or theft a plus but not necessary.

13 inch TV and space heater provided.

[PRagic]

How about you just let us know what you do. That should provide more amusment than what you're trying to accomplish with this lame thread.

...and off we go!

[flakfizer]

[DRAMA OVERKILL]

WANTED: Elementary School Soccer Coach

JOB DETAILS: Only 3 to 4 (max.) hours a day! Perfect to any and all cuurently unemployed males between the ages of 25 and 40 who also happen to be in direct relation to Prinicipal Park Jae Han or Vice-Principal Kim Dong Hwan.

JOB REQUIREMENTS: Applicants must have undying love for Park Ji Sung, wear an Adidas or Nike tracksuit (*note - wearers of Reebok or Puma may also be considered), own a pair of extra-durable indoor slippers to wear while pacing up and down the sidelines of the pitch, and have a booming voice in which he can easily intimidate 11 year olds.

(Applicants with exceptional upper-staff ass-kissing abilities will be given preference)

APPLICATION DEADLINE: 20 minutes ago.

[Easter Clark]

Wanted: High School Janitor

Duties:

* Will ensure the English Zone will consume the least amount of electricity possible by redirecting power to the staff room and Korean teachers' classrooms, especially during periods of intense heat or cold.

* Will occasionally clean the mens' bathrooms with the "ceremonial" mop. This same mop will be used to clean Korean teachers' classrooms, hallways, and women's bathrooms on a bi-annual basis.

* Ensure that the principal's office is sparkling and dust-free at all times.

* You will have access to the mass-production photocopier, which is to be used strictly by the foreigner. You are to keep your office locked at all times during regular school hours in order to prevent the foreigner from abusing equipment by making too many copies.

* During vacation periods, check in on the foreigner to make sure he is in fact at work and not enjoying a holiday like his coworkers. Be sure to call the principal at the first sign of the foreigner having gone AWOL.

Requirements:

* Minimum age: 60

* No family

* An ability to make those in charge feel important, regardless of their age.

* Ability to walk up stairs a plus, but not a necessity.

* Intimidating stare essential.

Benefits:

* Competitive pay (monthly stipend of 200,000 won)

* Closet/Housing provided

* Free meals (leftovers from the cafeteria)

* Respect from dozens of teachers who are younger than you.


UPDATE: Due to the overwhelming amount of interest expressed in this job, we are no longer taking applications.

[PRagic]

A one-liner is sometimes all that is required. Thanks for doing a history check on me, though. Flattered.

[flakfizer]

[flakfizer]

Wanted: English Hagwon Director

No educational background or English ability required.

Must be willing to subject teachers to half-baked ideas on a regular basis.

Must be willing to implement the half-baked ideas of the English hagwon across the street as well.

Must be willing to oversee the making of numerous copies of copyrighted materials.


Two weeks vacation a year.


*please add to this one. Not complete enough.*

[PRagic]

Then does it count if I think of you as a short joke?

[flakfizer]