Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Typhoon]

My wife was pretty upset yesterday. She finally realized that other Koreans do not see my daughter as a Korean. This did not surprise me, but my wife just can't get over it. People keep marvelling at how well she speaks Korean and how she looks "almost" like a Korean. My daughter has Korean citizenship, looks pretty Korean (if I am not around most people don't clue in she is not full-blooded), and speaks Korean as well as the rest of the kids her age. As far as my wife is concerned my daughter is a Korean and she wants my daughter to grow up to be proud of her Korean heritage. My wife believes that people treating my daughter differently then other Korean kids will turn her against Korea and Koreans. I have to agree that it probably will, but I don't know what to tell my wife to help her feel better. I don't care what Koreans think or say as I know Koreans tend to have this racist attitude towards halfies and I would rather her think of herself as a Canadian then a Korean anyway. However, saying this to my wife is not a good idea, but I have no idea what to say to her about this.

Does anyone have any similar experiences or have some words of wisdom on how to deal with this situation? I know my attitutde of who cares what freaking Koreans think is not going to help this situation so maybe some of you have a more open and kind mind then me.

[Captain Corea]

Lets just hope those old racist buggers die off quickly.

[bellum99]

I have had the same problem for a few years now. The only difference is that my son does not look Korean at all. Light brown hair and pale skin. He constantly gets the retarded "migook, migook, migook" scream from every single idiot in the area. He speaks Korean perfectly and was born here. We have given up hope of him growing up normal here.

We are going home.

[Saxiif]

Well you can tell your wife that if your kid ever does anything famous she'll be immediately embraced as Korean no matter how she was treated before.

[ttompatz]

[flakfizer]

Hmm, two threads in one day that talked to my wife about (Hanson's thread about complaining to a K-spouse being the other).

Not sure what you can say to her. My wife said realized that our kids are not "Korean" when she talked to a government official about our son and potential military duty in the future. The guy found out that the father was not a Korean-American but a "white American" and told her that the military doesn't make "half-blood" kids serve in the military. In fact, they prefer they not enter the military because their presence only stirs up trouble.
I asked her if it woud bother her if our kids ended up disliking Korea if they are treated unfairly or basically treated like non-Koreans. She doesn't care if they don't see themselves as Korean as long as they still have some contact with their Korean-ness. You can't force a kid to think of himself as Korean if Koreans do not see him as Korean. It's almost inevitable that a bi-cultural kid will feel more accepted in a society with many cultures and that is not based of ethnicity than they would in a culture that is quite homogenous and has prided itself on its ethinic purity for quite some time.

[DaffyD73]

I don't know if this would be helpful since i am single therefore not in by any means the same situation.
Perhaps your wife could carry out asneak attack at changing the views.
Answer to speaking korean well - oh does your daughter speak as well as mine.
Looks - Well she is my daughter and i'm Korean so that makes her korean. or change the subject "does your family have some chinese/japan ancestory?"
Obviously a little more planning and thought in the verbal delivery is needed. But one could sow the seeds.
Or the direct approach of showing offence at the remarks and explaining the desire for positive feelings for your daughter as she grows up

[Temporary]

Why bother. Is it really that important that she is "accepted" Who give a *beep* she is special as long as you and your family accepts here thats all that matters. Who really cares about the shallowness of this society. Do you really want her to be part of that?

[Countrygirl]

My kids, too, were told by Koreans that they are not Korean. But this was in Canada. I've noticed that the people who highlighted the fact that my kids are not "pure-blood" were the people who were jealous/competitive types. They are the adjuma's who live vicariously through their children and spend the freakish amount of money on clothing and handbags. Other Koreans don't mention it or care what type of blood my children have.

I was angry that day when my daughter came home and asked me, "Why did June's mom say that I am not Korean?" I then took it as an opportunity to teach my daughter that not all adults are right. She's half Korean/ half Dutch, all Canadian. No matter what anyone says, the facts can't be changed.

Your daughter is clearly all Korean and all American - she has the citizenship to prove it. How many citizenships do her friends have?

Your wife should calmly mention..."Thank God my daughter is half-American. She doesn't have to spend 3 hours a day studying English and our family saves a lot of money on hogwan fees. Think of all the handbags I can buy with that money!"

[CentralCali]

[ryouga013]

[Hollywoodaction]

[expat2001]

[zappadelta]

[CentralCali]