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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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 Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 3:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Ilsanman wrote: |
| We were in the middle of our meal. Should we get up in the middle and just storm out? We'd still have to pay. |
The way you wrote your post, the rudeness started before you ever got your food. |
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ceesgetdegrees
Joined: 12 Jul 2007
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| Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:01 pm Post subject: |
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THE HORROR...THE HORROR!
An elderly korean lady speaking to you in an informal manner and wanting to coo over your baby...WHERE WILL IT ALL END!!!!!!!! |
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Ilsanman
Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Bucheon, Korea
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:29 am Post subject: |
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Ok, I will come over and talk down to you while you're eating, and coo at your baby (if you have one). I guarantee, you won't like it.
You just joined the fag list.
| ceesgetdegrees wrote: |
THE HORROR...THE HORROR!
An elderly korean lady speaking to you in an informal manner and wanting to coo over your baby...WHERE WILL IT ALL END!!!!!!!! |
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NightSky
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:35 am Post subject: |
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| Ilsanman wrote: |
| , the old bag would never understand why we weren't happy. She'd chalk it up to 'young punks who don't respect their elders' or in my case 'a foreigner who doesn't understand Korean culture'. |
why couldn't your wife explain why you weren't happy? Koreans have to have it explained to them. if no one complains about the status quo, they assume everything is just fine. |
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Ilsanman
Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Bucheon, Korea
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:45 am Post subject: |
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How long have you been here? If you have been here for more than 3 months, you must know that if an old person here wants the opinion of younger person, they'll give it to them. Being older is being right.
Just in case anyone was wondering, my wife and the other couple were all dissatisfied and said we wouldn't go back. Especially the Korean man being told he looks like a foreigner.
| NightSky wrote: |
| Ilsanman wrote: |
| , the old bag would never understand why we weren't happy. She'd chalk it up to 'young punks who don't respect their elders' or in my case 'a foreigner who doesn't understand Korean culture'. |
why couldn't your wife explain why you weren't happy? Koreans have to have it explained to them. if no one complains about the status quo, they assume everything is just fine. |
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NightSky
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:12 am Post subject: |
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| Ilsanman wrote: |
How long have you been here? If you have been here for more than 3 months, you must know that if an old person here wants the opinion of younger person, they'll give it to them. Being older is being right.
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in other words your wife was too CS to say something. |
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yingwenlaoshi
Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Location: ... location, location!
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:24 am Post subject: |
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| Let's get ready to rumbllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle! |
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CasperTheFriendlyGhost
Joined: 28 Feb 2007
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:34 am Post subject: |
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| Being foreigners, we don't fit into the hierarchy of Korean society. Essentially, you will not be deferred to because you are older than someone, why defer to some old fool because they are older than you. This is not to say that all old people are fools, and if you explain to someone that they are bothering you and need to cease what it is they are doing, a reasonable person will do so. Even if he or she speaks no English they will catch the vibe you are sending. Koreans are not bad people, but do not assume that if you play by their rules you will be treated with the respect due a Korean in your situation. You may be treated much better or much worse. It's up to yourself to set the limits of what you will tolerate. |
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NilesQ
Joined: 27 Nov 2006
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:08 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't know what all the fuss about ban-mal is here. It is only rude to speak that way to someone if they are older than you/have a higher status than you. The customer-employee dynamic is much different here than in the west. I don't think it is rude for a grandmother type to speak that way to young couples. |
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ceesgetdegrees
Joined: 12 Jul 2007
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Ilsanman wrote: |
Ok, I will come over and talk down to you while you're eating, and coo at your baby (if you have one). I guarantee, you won't like it.
You just joined the fag list.
| ceesgetdegrees wrote: |
THE HORROR...THE HORROR!
An elderly korean lady speaking to you in an informal manner and wanting to coo over your baby...WHERE WILL IT ALL END!!!!!!!! |
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The fag list huh? Your coming on here whining about what equates to being relatively minor issues that any well adjusted individual who has spent more than 6 months or so in this country and has learnt to adapt would blow off as being inconsequential, places you on the i don't know what list. |
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NightSky
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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| NilesQ wrote: |
| I don't know what all the fuss about ban-mal is here. It is only rude to speak that way to someone if they are older than you/have a higher status than you. The customer-employee dynamic is much different here than in the west. I don't think it is rude for a grandmother type to speak that way to young couples. |
right. plus, if you do have a problem with the way someone's talking to you, simply speak up and say something. they're not going to figure it out if you leave the place in high dudgeon vowing never to come back. |
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Yu_Bum_suk
Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:10 pm Post subject: |
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The worst I ever experienced was at Earls in Surry, BC. My friend and I ordered the special of the day, and waited 45 minutes as we watched people who arrived after us getting served before us. Our drinks and salads came after about 15 minutes but we had to ask several times for our entrees. Finally I went to see the manager but there was no manager. I was going to offer to pay for our drinks and explain why we wouldn't be staying, but there was no manager to be found so we just left.
In Korea the biggest problem I find is that restaurants are 'sold out' of very basic menu items. I was at Bennigins with one of the above posters when they were 'sold out' of club house sandwiches. How the hell does a major restaurant with 20 tables sell out of clubhouse sandwiches? |
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Froggy Parker
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:09 am Post subject: |
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| NilesQ wrote: |
| It is only rude to speak that way to someone if they are older than you/have a higher status than you. |
It's rude to speak to any stranger, other than perhaps a child, in banmal, even though it is permissible if you are older.
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| The customer-employee dynamic is much different here than in the west. |
Nah.. I almost always get jondaetmal at any kind of store or restaurant, commercials are typically in high form, and people at the big box stores or department stores generally always speak to customers in high form. These are not coincidences.
Maybe the old people that grew up in dirt huts don't get it, but the new paradigm now is Western service, though they still suck miserably at it. |
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Froggy Parker
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:10 am Post subject: Re: Worst service experience ever |
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| Thwartley wrote: |
| (Yes, they hesitate at serving black people sometimes, but that's because they don't tip for crap. Same with European tourists and teenagers.) |
I don't tip for crap either. Only for excellence...[/quote]
Zing. |
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NilesQ
Joined: 27 Nov 2006
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 5:20 am Post subject: |
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| Froggy Parker wrote: |
| NilesQ wrote: |
| It is only rude to speak that way to someone if they are older than you/have a higher status than you. |
It's rude to speak to any stranger, other than perhaps a child, in banmal, even though it is permissible if you are older.
| Quote: |
| The customer-employee dynamic is much different here than in the west. |
Nah.. I almost always get jondaetmal at any kind of store or restaurant, commercials are typically in high form, and people at the big box stores or department stores generally always speak to customers in high form. These are not coincidences.
Maybe the old people that grew up in dirt huts don't get it, but the new paradigm now is Western service, though they still suck miserably at it. |
Yeah, but when is the last time you saw a halmonie working in a dept store or big box retailer. Old still trumps all here, in my experience. Also, from the OP, it sounds like maybe the lady was the owner or the place. That brings a whole other world of crazy into it. I remember when I first got here, walking into a gamjatang joint at 3 am and the owner sleeping on the floor. They woke up and served us. It is more like their home than a place of business, and they seem to treat customers accordingly. You get treated a bit more familiarly than sometimes you would like. It can come across as rude to some. |
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