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Parents back home
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American_Maverick



Joined: 20 Dec 2007

PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 11:52 pm    Post subject: Parents back home Reply with quote

Do some of you expats of a certain age (like 30+) worry about or miss your parents at all? I don't come to this board too often, but I haven't seen a thread on the issue of family back home. Don't any of you who stay in SK or teaching in various places around the world ever think about the quality time you are missing with your family as the years go by? Or does this profession and the wanderlust many of us have attract people who are estranged from their families and/or have bad relationships with their immediate family?

I fully plan to be teaching ESL in SK in the next few months, but my parents are both retired getting up in years and although I am not a momma's boy I know I will be a little concerned about their well being when I am gone. I also have a nephew that is about 5 months old now and I won't see him as he starts crawling, talking, etc. My webcam will come in handy, I imagine. LOL Makes me feel little sad though, to be honest. I have a feeling the parents are going to lay a bit of a guilt trip on me before I leave too. Sad

Anyone else experience this either now or in the past?
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Atavistic



Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not estranged from my family, nor do I have poor relationships with them.

I am, however, very independent and they all know it because--guess what--they are, too.

Does it suck missing my family and friends? Sure. Would I give this up? No.
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nicholas_chiasson



Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Location: Samcheok

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

-after the 22 years I've been around them(I lived at home for Uni even)I am ready to spend 10 years without them. A balance is good in life? No?
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Fishead soup



Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Location: Korea

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If this doesn't work out you can always boomerang back home. For the free room ,free food, and free use of the car. Can come in pretty handy when you're working at Wallmart.
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Dome Vans
Guest




PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The first time I left England to move to Sweden I missed my family so much, I was 24 years old. I'd always wanted to try living and working in a foreign country. Sweden is only a 2 hour flight from England so my mum, dad (separated) and my brothers and sisters would come and visit. So it actually worked out well.

There is no way that they can come out here to visit me it's too far, so my sojourn here will be maximum 3 years, then I'm heading back in that direction to live and teach in Sweden so I'm closer to them again. I do get 3 months vacation from my PS so I go home twice a year: Christmas and the break between contracts. It always hurts to think that my mum and dad are getting older, 68 to be exact. They're getting old and it breaks my heart to think what'll happen one day, the inevitable. But they want me to go out and enjoy myself, see the world, experience things. They would never want me around when I can be doing what I've been doing since I was 24. It's makes them happy that I'm so happy, even if they do miss me. But it still hurts to miss them.

I have friends who are working here and they're friends and family back home hassle them about coming back and that the best place for them is back home. While I can see this point of view I do find it a little selfish on their part. Life is to be lived, you should take happiness in the fact your loved ones are happy. I know others who work here who have no contact with back home, which can be sad to hear but unfortanately that happens.

A side note: Skype is a wonderful thing......
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Imrahil



Joined: 04 Feb 2008
Location: On the other side of the world.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sure I miss my parents back home, a little, but thanks to MSN I can talk to them for free over the internet. Doing that once a week is enough for me.
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SuperHero



Joined: 10 Dec 2003
Location: Superhero Hideout

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The further and longer I am away from my parents the better my relationship with them is. The last time I went home to visit, my mother made my wife cry.

Guess that's the last time I'm going home.
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No_hite_pls



Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Location: Don't hate me because I'm right

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You assume that we don't go home to visit. Shocked I visited my family three times in my 19 months here. I have spent seven weeks either with my wife�s family or my family in the states.
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excitinghead



Joined: 18 Jul 2005

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been here 8 years, but didn't really have a problem with the physical distance until my daughter was born nearly 2 years ago. Even at the best of times, webcams, photos on a family blog, and youtube videos don't really cut it for showing my parents how she's growing up. Actually they just give frustrating hints really, and make them miss her all the more.

It's good to get into a habit of going back at least once a year, although personally with my parents divorced and living 9 hours flight time away from each other, it's impossible (couldn't they at least live in the same country, damnit! Rolling Eyes ). My last trip combining both parents completely cleaned out our savings!


An irreverent look at Korean social issues:
http://thegrandnarrative.wordpress.com/
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Imrahil



Joined: 04 Feb 2008
Location: On the other side of the world.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have been home twice in 6 years and still don't miss my family much. As you can tell I am not close to them. My parents are coming over next year for their first trip to the land of kimchi. My wife can't wait to show them her country, maybe that will make me miss them more.
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I'm Seoul Lost



Joined: 19 Jun 2006
Location: In the mountains of Gyeonggi

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

For those of you missing family Laughing
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Carlyles Ghost



Joined: 04 Jul 2007

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:33 am    Post subject: Re: Parents back home Reply with quote

American_Maverick wrote:
Do some of you expats of a certain age (like 30+) worry about or miss your parents at all? I don't come to this board too often, but I haven't seen a thread on the issue of family back home.


Sure, I think most people miss family. But I will certainly not come to Daves and talk about family. An ESL internet message board is simply not an appropriate forum to discuss family. If the topic is Songtan Sally....okay. If I want to know if there are any cool folks in Suwon...sure. But not family.
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NightSky



Joined: 19 Apr 2005

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

SuperHero wrote:
The last time I went home to visit, my mother made my wife cry.

Guess that's the last time I'm going home.


Shocked That sucks. Was it something she said?

and I'm not being sarcastic...
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Newbie



Joined: 07 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I come from a family of 9 (15 now, with add ons). Parents are 74 and 72. I asbsolutely hate being away from all of them as we've always gotten along very well. We have always been called the "Brady Bunch".

I've been here 6 years now but I always took time between contracts to visit home. 2 months between years 1 and 2, then 8 month, 3 weeks, 1 month. This Fall will be the big, permanent move home. The best past is that my wife gets along wonderfully with them, so that should help to ease her transition.
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SuperHero



Joined: 10 Dec 2003
Location: Superhero Hideout

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

NightSky wrote:
SuperHero wrote:
The last time I went home to visit, my mother made my wife cry.

Guess that's the last time I'm going home.


Shocked That sucks. Was it something she said?

and I'm not being sarcastic...

not going into details, but it was a number of things spoken and actions.
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