Korean Job Discussion Forums

oskinny1 · Joined: 10 Nov 2006 Location: Right behind you!

My parents move to different countries more than I do. Even if I was back where I was born, there is no telling where the folks would be from one year to the next (though I am hoping Amsterdam is next!)

OiGirl · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: Hoke-y-gun

I talk with my mom online every day. More than we talked when we lived in the same country!

Ya-ta Boy · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994

This is a difficult one.

My mom is 83. She'll kick off sooner rather than later. Every month I call home and get the guilt trip about when I'm coming home. I hate that. If it didn't happen, I'd call home more often.

I lived at home for 18 years and couldn't leave soon enough. I went home only when I had NO other choice.

Family in the abstract is nice and good and cuddly. Family in the reality is not always what the ideal says it should be.

Yeah, I feel guilty not to be home during Mom's declining years. No, I don't feel guilty not being home when Dad was in the process of dying. He could have hurried it up by several decades and not upset anyone.

I kinda missed the nephews and neices growing up, but then I wasn't all that close to their parents either. I wish it had been different. But it wasn't.

Every Chusok and Solnal Koreans migrate home. I used to get the pressure to go home, too. I hated it. Why would I want to go home and re-enter the situation I waited a decade to escape?

moosehead · Joined: 05 May 2007

American_Maverick · Joined: 20 Dec 2007

Unposter · Joined: 04 Jun 2006

It was really hard at first but like most things you get used to it.

I have always gone home at least once a year and sometimes twice. Always weird. I can't wait to go and then when I get there, I can't wait to leave. Its not my parents; it is great talking to them. I think it is not having anything particular to do. Friends work and you don't. Then, after a while, people drift, move; you find yourself with less and less in common. It can be difficult to keep up with friends back home after you have been away for so long. They have other things they want to do too.

Anyway, my parents have already visited Korea twice and plan to be here this summer. It is always great having them around! One of my brothers has been here many times too.

The funny thing is I have tried for years to get my friends back home to visit -- free lodgings, show them around, etc... and no one has taken me up an offer other than an old HS buddy who by some strange coincidence also married a Korean woman but she was already an American citizen. He's been over a couple of times too.

With the internet, all things are possible. Being an expat just isn't as difficult as it was.

I think the bottom line for me is that despite the boredom and the estrangement, I really appreciate home so much more. If you have everything you want, life looses its edge. After having lived in Korea, I will never take the comforts of home for granted again! And, that is one of the reasons I like the expat life!

blaseblasphemener · Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 9:04 am Post subject:

Being away from Canada for more than 4 years has changed the way I view my parents. I realize now that my mom has become a royal pain in the ass. She recently visited and spent the whole time cleaning and ironing, and getting annoyed at my Korean-wife's level of English. Oh joy. My brother must suffer her eccentricities as he lives 5 minutes from her. My dad lives thousands of miles away in Canada, so wouldn't see him much even if I was back home. When you get married you start a new family, and parents lose much of their importance. But, if mom or dad showed a huge need to be doting grandparents, I would make it a priority to get back there. Neither one has though. Too busy with their own lives. Guess they aren't ready to settle down and watch the grandkids just yet.

koala5 · Joined: 21 Aug 2006

One of my good Korean friends explained it to me very well. He is married to a Japanese girl and they have a son. He would always be willing to spend his money to travel and spend time with her Japanese family. In life you just got to do things you got to do. We only live once so spend the money.

What is the problem with talking about family on Dave's? Is it an episode of Oprah or something. What are you scared of?My parents have been living in Ghana, Africa. I new that I had to spend the money for the wife and I to travel there. Even though it was only for a week we had such a special time. My wife was able to tell her friends that Africa isn't as bad as Koreans say it is. The fact these people on average make $50 a month yet still have a smile on their face was quite amazing.

For now my life is in Korea. I believe I have learnt and need to continue to learn many things before I settle down to a more stable future.

crsandus · Joined: 05 Oct 2004

And then there's those of us who are moving to Korea to be closer to some family members. Wink

Becka · Joined: 28 Sep 2005

Back in Canada, I lived about a day's drive from my folks. But we only ever saw each other *maybe* twice a year, for 3-4 days each time, mostly 'cause of lack of $$/time on both ends. Living overseas and visiting once a year is a much better situation for us because when we visit, we don't take it for granted.

pangaea · Joined: 20 Dec 2007

Fishhead soup wrote:

anabolina · Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Location: Bundang

I understand your concerns with your nephew. I'm very close to my family and they're really supportive of whatever I want to do, but it's hard to say goodbye. My nephew is a year old and I just know he's going to be so big when I get back. Still Skype, blogs, email, and Youtube have helped me so far. Of course, I've only been here a month so haven't really started missing them yet. Good luck OP!

rsmm0224 · Joined: 06 Feb 2008 Location: Changwon

Definitely AIM, Yahoo, MSN, Skype or even just email can help keep your sanity. I haven't talked to my dad in over 6 years but since coming here (at the request of my mother) he emailed me and now I am planning to visit him in MN when I am go home. Make the most of your trips home. If you're switching schools, plan a later start date, if you're staying, make em give you a week or two extra as part of the extension deal.

I got a pretty nice situation where one teacher is leaving six weeks after my contract ends so I am trying to convince my bosses to replace me and let me come back for her. Its proving a hard sell, I may just switch schools.

ms.catbc · Joined: 11 Jan 2008 Location: Ilsan

My brother told me that him and his wife are pregnant, the night before i flew over here.

I am very close with my family and my brother is not just a brother but a dear friend. It is their first child and I am sad that i am not back home. I could go home for christmas (baby is due in October) but i know that i only have a week of xmas vacation and I had had my heart set on going to thailand or something...

but my heart is also set on seeing my niece/nephew...

i have to decide soon since that will be a prime travel time.

sigh

I miss my family, i miss my friends but I am also really enjoying this experience. They are more then overjoyed for me and my decision to come over here. A true sign of how close i am with them.

Carlyles Ghost · Joined: 04 Jul 2007