Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Hank the Iconoclast]

Something rather peculiar happened today and I would like to add this is a word of warning about teaching privates here in Korea, legally or illegally.

My Korean fiance decided to start teaching legally about two months ago because her level of English is quite high. Her neighbors were curious about getting her to teach their sons privately. She agreed and they gave her the money. Every step of the way after that was a struggle. They never made their times (showing up two or three hours late) and forced my fiance to even teach on Sunday for two hours in a row.

I was adamantly against this and everyday she would talk to me and told me how exhausted she was about the situation. I felt so utterly helpless and I knew this person was taking advantage of her.

We both agreed that this past Saturday would be the last time and she taught them the number of times necessary to equal one month. Low and behold, the woman calls my fiance on the bus as we are leaving and starts bitching her out. My fiance caves in and says she will teach them again.

I took the matter into my hands and called the woman to say that the agreement was fulfilled. That was enough. She started screaming at me over the phone and I told her to go away in so many words. She called again and again, I told her to buzz off. Afterwards, she had her high school son call my fiance and he started cursing at her.

Then she proceeded to harass my fiance's mother and father. They were demanding a refund for the books and for a total of three lessons. She also said that she wanted my address and told me that she had powerful friends in Korea that would make it difficult for me to work here.

Initially, I was freaked out by this but I knew that she was just blowing hot air and that she has no actual power. Still, I hated the fact that my soon to be in-laws were caught in the middle of this. I decided that I had to take the high road and find out how we could meet the demands of this mad woman. I transferred money over to her that equaled the amount of three lessons and the cost of their books. She said that wasn't enough and that I had to go to Tongyeong and apologize to her in person.

My fiance wrote her a text message and told her that was impossible since we are quite far away from Tongyeong. She then texted the woman telling her that her son was cursing me out. Just a few minutes ago, the woman called my fiance and apologized to her. Unbelievable. It's resolved but it has been quite a long day. Be cafeful with these people.

[freshking]

What a loon. You shoulda kicked her and her high school sons asses.

[DrunkenMaster]

Never take schit of nobody Hank. Ever.

[Adventurer]

When dealing with people, that's the time to act like the crazy white man and say gibberish. Act bizarre like some people on Dave's do:) And then, your fiancee could then say you are having a nervous breakdown and she has to attend to you....

[DCJames]

Amazing what foreigners put up with.

[Gwangjuboy]

[rusty1983]

Dont get bullied man, whats next, is she gonna tell you to lick her shoes clean?

[whatever]

^ I can't help but agree...no offense intended. Acknowledging the gripe in the first place was a huge mistake. Why were you so scared?

[anyway]

How the b-jesus did the woman get your in-laws numbers if you live so far away from Tongyeong? Sounds fishy...Ahhh, after re-reading I see the in-laws were the instigators of the whole situation. Good luck with your marriage...Next time, just give the money direct to the in-laws...

[Hank the Iconoclast]

[Hank the Iconoclast]

[TheChickenLover]

By returning their tuition, you not only showed yourself to be of lower status to them, but you also lowered the value of yourself by accepting to be bullied by them.

In short, they do no respect you. However, they DO want your knowledge, & will use you like a tissue until you are no longer needed. I had one group like that once. I simply said it was our last day & they should find someone else to teach them. I did not give them an option to 'negotiate', I simply said the class was over & that was it.

I never saw them again & I personally felt much better after. Using your in-laws as an excuse isn't exactly kosher. They would have a much better appreciation if you settled the matter on your own terms.

Rule of thumb, ALWAYS be in control. If students are not happy/complaining and you think they're just being unreasonable, then remove stressful people from your lives.

Nuff said

Chicken

[funkywinkerbeans]

Your problem was intervening in your fiance's business. Seems like overprotectiveness on your part. Surely, your fiance is capable of making independent decisions without needing you to fix her mistakes.

Then you cave and allow a high school student be rude to your wife.

I don't understand your logic. Basically you handled this situation wrong from the start.

[steroidmaximus]

Teaching only privates can lead to some harrowing times, no doubt. Hell hath no fury like an ajumma who doesn't get what she wants when she wants it. They can be abusive, pushy, try to squeeze as much free stuff out of you as possible. Other times they give you cake and coffee and are very nice.

If your fiance fulfilled the terms, then you never should have backed down and sent the money. Just saying that she's too busy and doesn't have the time would have been the way to go. Apologize. If they start in on you like they did, saying how disrespectful and discourteous they are being in a hurt tone can work wonders. Hang up. When they call again, speak calmly and take the high road. If they persist, mention how their behavior will affect the way you'd teach their kids, and since you are a serious responsible teacher it is now impossible to teach them again. Block their number. Doubling the lesson fee can sometimes work, but if they agree then you're locked in for at least a few more months. Being brutally honest about the efforts being put forth by the students and using a lot of buzz words from language education (correctly) can often cow the most rabid of ajummas as well. Showing yourself to be a competent, knowledgeable teacher will stop them in their tracks. But if you've fulfilled your responsibilities and taught the required classes, never give them money. Use the money to buy one of these instead:

[Hank the Iconoclast]