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McSnack
Joined: 09 Feb 2003
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 Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2003 11:18 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for the insightful replies. It was what I was looking for. Originally I was planning on staying in Korea throughout my kids' elementary schooling and then moving back to the States for their junior and high schools. The uni I teach at has a pre-school with a good reputation and I'm not worried about that. From what little contact I've had with Korean elementary schools and elementary school teachers, I felt comfortable sending my children to one of them (middle and high schools -- noooo way). International schools are far out of my price range. I'm very aware of my responsibilty to impart to them a sense of self-worth so that if they do experience problems they will know what to do. The reason that I posted was that I met some other ex-pats at a gathering over the weekend who were doing their best to pull their children out of Korean elem. schools and into international ones due to racial problems. It kind of freaked me out in the sense that I want to do anything and everything I can to provide my children with the best childhood possible and if that means changing gears and going back home sooner than planned, then that's what it'll be.
Thanks again for the replies -- they've been helpful. |
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Ody
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: over here
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| Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2003 11:37 pm Post subject: |
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| ...The reason that I posted was that I met some other ex-pats at a gathering over the weekend who were doing their best to pull their children out of Korean elem. schools and into international ones due to racial problems. It kind of freaked me out in the sense that I want to do anything and everything I can to provide my children with the best childhood possible and if that means changing gears and going back home sooner than planned, then that's what it'll be. |
yea, i hear you and we do worry. in the U.S., one of our Korean friends had a son that always goofed around, acting like a clown, very un-Korean. we could tell he developed this habit as a way to compensate for his being different. in his class there happened to be few kids that weren't of polish decent. it was tough on him.
sometimes we get worried when we observe OUR son behaving in a similar way. we are super sensitive to the risks. if our son gets into the school we hope he does, he has two 1st cousins, twin boys in the fifth grade ready and waiting to physically protect him and guard his dignity!
our fingers are crossed. |
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t.j
Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Location: at home in bongcheon...
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 12:39 am Post subject: |
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There has been a lot of great advice given in this thread! I especially liked ersatzprofessors post. It gave me great hope for when I have a child. I was thinking about staying here so that my child could learn Korean in a kindergarten that taught English as well so that he/she could learn the two languages clearly but now I see that I don't have to do that. I envy you for having babies already I can't wait to have mine.
I am now wondering what it was like giving birth in a Korean hospital. I am from Canada so price is not the issue, just care of mom and baby. Should I go home before I have the baby or will it be ok here? Any input on this would be helpful.
Just for one more side note when my mother in law found out my husband and I wanted to marry she said it would be a crime for us to have a child, because it would be mixed. Did anyone else have that kind of experience? My mother in law is now pushing us to have our baby so I can assume it is no longer a crime. |
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McSnack
Joined: 09 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 1:28 am Post subject: |
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I wasn't the one having the baby, so please take what I say with that in mind, but I have absolutely nothing negative to say about our experiences here. Our daughter was born at Samsung Chaeil Hospital near Chungmoro in Seoul and our son was born at Seoul Nat'l University Hospital in Bundang. I've never -- at least to the best of my knowledge -- had a baby in the States, but I can't imagine it being any more modern, professional or sensitive to parents' needs. The Seoul hospital was a bit more crowded and the other patients not very friendly (after seeing the same people for the three days straight and sharing the same life-changing experience, I assumed they'd respond when I smiled and nodded at them -- I was wrong), but the staff and facilities were fine. Both hospitals had family birthing rooms and I was able to cut the umbilical cord. Compared to medical procedures in America, it was cheap as well -- the family birthing room, three days recovery and extras (a CD-ROM of the baby immediatlely after the birth at Seoul and video tape in Bundang) only came to about 700,000 won.
The prenatal care for both babies was done at both repsective hospitals and I likewise was impressed. My daughter's prenatal care began at a neighborhood OB/GYN clinic and that was a bit sketchy facility-wise, but there was nothing specific to complain about.
We've found a neighborhood pediatrician and are likewise happy there.
One odd thing that goes with almost any hospital stay unless you have money coming out of your wazoo, is the shared hospital rooms. There were six women in one very small room at the Seoul hosptial and four in the Bundang one. Nurses' responsibilites are different as well and it's pretty much necessary for a family member to be around 24/7. |
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waterbaby
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Location: Baking Gord a Cheescake pie
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 1:45 am Post subject: |
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| t.j wrote: |
| Just for one more side note when my mother in law found out my husband and I wanted to marry she said it would be a crime for us to have a child, because it would be mixed. Did anyone else have that kind of experience? My mother in law is now pushing us to have our baby so I can assume it is no longer a crime. |
My in-laws also expressed concerns about our potential children when we told them we were getting married... not that they said it would be a crime, they were just worried about how our mixed kids might be treated in Korea.
However, now that we're married, they're wondering when the "beautiful babies" will arrive  |
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t.j
Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Location: at home in bongcheon...
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 2:08 am Post subject: |
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Thanks to water baby and Mcsnack for your replies. I am still undecided as to where I want to have my baby (eventually) but I am far less concerned as to the care of my baby (and myself) in a Korean hospital. As far as the 6 people in a room i have already suffered through that one when my appendix burst, and I always had my husband with me then. I just think I was more concerned about my baby and how often I would get to be with it. It doesn't sound too bad though. I
I am also glad that I am not the only one with tough at first parents in laws
I am still not sure if my baby will be a favorite here with them but at least I know they will still love him or her. |
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dutchman
Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: My backyard
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 2:19 am Post subject: |
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| McSnack wrote: |
One odd thing that goes with almost any hospital stay unless you have money coming out of your wazoo, is the shared hospital rooms. There were six women in one very small room at the Seoul hosptial and four in the Bundang one. Nurses' responsibilites are different as well and it's pretty much necessary for a family member to be around 24/7. |
My wife had our first child in the conditions you described. She had our second (this past June) in a private clinic. She had her own room and I was able to be in the delivery room. The cost was only about 150,000 won more than the big hospital. |
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Ody
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: over here
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 4:28 am Post subject: |
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| dutchman wrote: |
| McSnack wrote: |
One odd thing that goes with almost any hospital stay unless you have money coming out of your wazoo, is the shared hospital rooms. There were six women in one very small room at the Seoul hosptial and four in the Bundang one. Nurses' responsibilites are different as well and it's pretty much necessary for a family member to be around 24/7. |
My wife had our first child in the conditions you described. She had our second (this past June) in a private clinic. She had her own room and I was able to be in the delivery room. The cost was only about 150,000 won more than the big hospital. |
how's it going? is your son doing well?
i was just wondering if you could share with us how he's adjusting to his little sibling? (sister yes?) i read that reconciling the fact that s/he's no longer the center of attention is a big deal for the first born . do you have any advise for those like myself, expecting child #2? |
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ersatzprofessor
Joined: 17 Apr 2003
Location: Same as it ever was ... Same as it ever WAS
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 6:59 am Post subject: |
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Thanks for the compliments. I'm glad people found what I said helpful. I'll try to answer a few questions and I have a couple of my own.
Mr. Pink,
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ersatzprofessor,
I have a quick question for you.
When you were in Canada, what was your wife speaking to your child? The reason I ask, is my wife ONLY speaks Korean to our child, and she insists, that is how it is going to be forever, since she isn't the "native" English speaker in the family. On the same note, I speak only English to our child. She is too young yet to start speaking, but we are trying to develop the habit.
Also another question, have you visited Canada since coming back to Korea? And if so, how did you son adapt? |
In answer to your questions, our experience in Canada was quite similar to what Ody said. My wife tried to make an effort to speak Korean but it seemed the house was English by default most of the time. My son really knew no Korean when he came, as I said. English has such a presence here that functioning in it is relatively easy, as I'm sure everyone knows. All my wife could get were taped melodramas from the Korean grocery store and 30 minutes a week from some Toronto station. Will it be easier now that my son is fluent in Korean to maintain our present system when we return? Well, I guess we'll have to wait and see.
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| Also another question, have you visited Canada since coming back to Korea? And if so, how did you son adapt? |
No, we haven't been back as a family yet so I can't help you with that one.
Ody,
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seriously though, i believe the child should be exposed to both his/her parent's languages from the get go, if only to tune their ear to the phonemes of each.
but like i said, everyone's experience is unique.
professor? |
I agree with you completely. In a way what happened with my oldest son was a happy accident. By being born in Korea and spending his first year here he was heavily exposed to Korean (much more than English at that age - plus I had a crappy hagwhon job and wasn't home so much) - then to Canada- and now back.
But my second son is a different story- he is quite behind in both languages actually and seems to have a limited understanding of the distinction between them.There are other factors at play here but it does seem to be one thing slowing him down.
We have actually stepped into what I think is still a fairly fierce debate in language education. What I've read is that early billingual children will very often lag behind unilingual ones in vocabulary and so on until around 11 years old or so. My older son seems a bit exceptional that way. Of course though after that age they are just as good in two as the unilingual kid is in one - a nice bonus. Key though is indeed to make sure that each parent stays consistently in one language with the child. And, as others have said, I think a lot does depend on the child herself. I'd look for a reference, but I'm too tired right now. And also too tired to post my own questions ..soon. |
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dutchman
Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: My backyard
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Ody wrote: |
how's it going? is your son doing well?
i was just wondering if you could share with us how he's adjusting to his little sibling? (sister yes?) i read that reconciling the fact that s/he's no longer the center of attention is a big deal for the first born . do you have any advise for those like myself, expecting child #2? |
All is well...now. My son had a difficult couple of months. He became very needy. Didn't want to go to the NoriBang anymore. Cried a lot and was just generally very grumpy.
The only advice I'd give is be patient and give the first child as much positive attention as you can and don't make a big deal about his/her terrible behavior. It's temporary.
Our daughter is now almost 6 months and our son is back to his usual happy self. He's even starting to play with his sister now.
But really... who could possible resist the charms of this cutie?
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DHC
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 7:27 pm Post subject: People with amerasian kids |
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| My wife ( Korean ) and I have a 3 yr. old daughter. We live in a Korean area where there are no other foreigners. We have never experienced any problems with the fact that our daughter isn't of pure Korean blood. |
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Ody
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: over here
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 7:52 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you for your advise Dutchman.
I was hoping we'd soon see a pic. She is quite cute. Pretty hair too. I can see a bit of your son's features in her face. |
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