Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Easter Clark]

Aren't there some teachers on this board who have dated / married their students? Is that ethical? Of course not at a uni/high school etc, but what about in a hagwon / adult setting?

[ardis]

[bassexpander]

I know of at least two teachers (don't know if they're on here) that have dated their adult students and married them. They weren't language exchanges, either. One of them was employed for one of the largest hagwon chains in Korea, and met his wife there.

I think that part of the draw of working at one of these places (for some people, although few readily admit it to just anyone) is that they provide a large pool of potential mates.

I'd bet my best pair of socks that a fair number of teachers from places like Pagoda have ended up marrying their students -- perhaps after they moved on to other jobs.

Just a guess.


If this bothers you, then think about the fact that two Korean teachers from my former high school job married their former high school students.


When it comes down to it, I don't think you, I, a hagwon boss, or anyone has the right to tell two adults they can't fall in love with each other. If you disagree, then ask yourself why? Are you concerned that a teacher has too much "power" over the student if both are adults? What if they start dating after the student is no longer the student? If it happens to adults after the student leaves/finishes the class, then I have absolutely ZERO moral issues with it.

What is different about the "power" a teacher has over an adult student than the power that a rich person has over a regular person? Is it not also unethical that a rich person might be able to persuade a woman to marry him because he is rich?

It's all in the mind, my friends.

[wylies99]

This happens because we seem exciting, plus some of us ( ) are not bad looking.

Gotta just act like it's not happening. Play it cool.

[Yu_Bum_suk]

This happens every year with some of my new students. Just use it to your advantage in terms of getting them interested in using English and don't allow yourself to get too informal with them. Usually the novelty wares off soon enough.

[peachlily]

anyone here ever seen a korean drama called, "Loveholic?"

[excitinghead]

I married one of my students at an adult hagwon. I was 24 and she was 21 when we first met there, and we got married four years later. Naturally, I'll be dammed if I can see anything wrong with it, although any single person that doesn't admit that the availability of potential partners is a perk of the job is probably lying. In the small town I was in in 2000, my hagwon was the only one for adults, and there were always many applications from other expats in town to fill the places of teachers leaving.

But the fact that we were both adults, that she didn't depend on me for grades in any sense, and that this wasn't a school, are all important distinctions. We technically become adults at 18 for instance, but that doesn't mean that we suddenly are really, and so I'm adamantly against high school teachers having relationships with students, even though it may technically be legal in Korea to do so.

Says a lot about Korea that relationships like that are not only not avoided in films and dramas, but they're common and invariably positively portrayed. Sigh.


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http://thegrandnarrative.wordpress.com/

[cdninkorea]

[excitinghead]

[hauwande]

[Dome Vans]

[butlerian]

[Mr. Pink]

I think there should be some distinction between elementary/kindie crushes and middle school/high school/university student crushes.

Crushes from young kids are natural. Yes, even from kids of the opposite sex. They aren't thinking in a sexual way. I agree with the advice about treating it professionally. I don't ignore the student, I just don't give them reason to keep on with the crush once they got used to my teaching style.

When I taught high school I had a couple girls have a crush on me. It was sort of awkward, but it happens more to the young Korean teachers (both male and female). What worked for me was just treating them like every other student in the class. Eventually they should get the hint.

[poet13]

I usually tell the girls who declare their undying love for me that my wife will be crazy jealous and terrible things will happen to me. I tell the boys who talk that silly talk something else altogether.

[Toju]