Korean Job Discussion Forums

[BS.Dos.]

#1. If your CT,VP or Principal tells you that there is going to be a teachers dinner/hiking trip/barn dance, then you really, really, really ought to think about going, okay?

I know it's a bummer, but Koreans are very sensitive about this sort of thing and they have been known to get terribly arsey with FTs if they don't show up or offer lame last-minute excuses. If you do have to turn down one of their requests for any of the above, then don't be surprised if they start to over-react/shout/scream/make your life very difficult.

[Hobophobic]

...oh how I miss Wasted Wednesdays at my last school...kids leave for home after lunch, principal orders us to drink until a mystery bus abducts us to some unknown destination...where we eat, drink, go sing, drink, eat, drink, drink and drink until he releases us...

....when attending these functions wear distinctive shoes.

[bovinerebel]

[Stormy]

[Michelle]

[Draz]

[CentralCali]

The second anyone begins to raise their voice at me--and I'm a bit older than most of the staff at my school except for the principal--I immediately respond in kind but at full volume. I don't curse, but I certainly do let the sound flow: "Who do you think you are, yelling at me?"

The only reason adults here will yell at you is if they believe you are their inferior. If you remain stoical and let the venting go, all you've done is reinforce the idea that you are beneath the one yelling at you. Yelling at them louder lets them realize that you consider them to be beneath you. Silly, isn't it? But if there's even one witness to the event, keeping your peace will be detrimental for you.

My department head, vice principal, and principal have never raised their voices to me. My co-teacher did once (maybe twice, I don't recall a 2nd time now) in the last 2 years and she got the full decibels in response. And you know what? She settled down and discussed the original issue like an adult after I let the sound fly.

Don't give me this crud about Koreans respecting their elders in Korea. That only applies to the "in group." What you have to do, and I think this is something the OP should have mentioned, is to ensure you are considered part of the "in group" and thus don't have a bad outcome for when you must decline attending one of these events. Settle things in advance. Attend a couple of them at the outset, boring as they may be. Learn to check the schedule for when they'll be. Then simply have other plans for that day. Let the PTB know about a week in advance that you can't avoid the other event.

All that said, the end-of-term overnight events are fun, in my opinion. I really do have a conflicting event for those at the end of each term although I would like to go on another one.

[Easter Clark]

[ernie]

my method for dealing with superiors yelling at me is to simply stand up, announce "this discussion is over" and walk away... it surprises them, shows self-control and professionalism, and makes them look stupid...

[BS.Dos.]

I'm not understanding this being 'yelled' at business.

How does that happen then?

[crusher_of_heads]

No Korean coworkers have raised their voices except when I clink my glass of beer with their soju shot glasses.

I'm sure the yelling happens, just not yet-I've got a great staff for the most part.

[Figure8]

I'm not over there yet, but I see CentralCali's and others' points as something pretty important. While I don't know if I would actually yell in return, I have had more than a few bosses who are Indian, and while they haven't yelled at me exactly, it seems to be something of a cultural thing to basically roll right over anyone who is working under them. I've had to stop them time and time again and say something that forces them to see me as at least someone who has a brain of their own and won't just buy a position in hierarchy as a pass to do whatever, say whatever, demand whatever, of another human being. It always stops them cold and they readjust and find another way with me without any fallout that I have noticed. I'm male and a little older than the average teacher over there, so maybe that will help a little, I don't know. I know Western women might have a tougher time dealing with the culture there, possibly. But, I see little point in simply taking any sort of irrational yelling given that I am showing up to work daily, going on the outings and trying my best to do a decent job. From my experience working with bosses from more traditionally male-dominated, top-down societies, it does a lot for your image within that environment to not take it like a whipped pup, if you can do that without losing your proverbial S, making certain, of course, that you have actually DONE a good job and tried your best to be an honorable person. I don't know what others may have to say about that. I've seen everything from, tell'em to go F themselves, to, never argue with your Korean Boss! I don't see myself able to go either extreme route. But while it might be easier to just say nothing, I doubt it will do much for you later, McFly. It also, of course, would no good to become irate either. I suppose the real answer, as always, is hope you get someone who sees blood in your veins, regardless of your color.

[Figure8]

But that all being said, I have no idea what the norm is with Korean bosses or how they deal with polite refusal to simply be a doormat. Plus, as I can see on this post, we're talking about a varied group of men and women, and personality differences do factor in when it comes to their reactions and methods? Right? God, I hope.

[spliff]

[it's full of stars]

I've raised my voice in the staff room, doesn't seem to have hurt at all. They didn't like me then, they definitely don't like me now.