Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Figure8]

So, basically, I don't really drink anymore. I'm not a complete abstainer, but I am pretty much a glass of wine with someone close kind of guy, and that's about it at this point. Drinking until I feel anything more than a light buzz is just not exciting to me, and also messes me up physically. If my boss expects me to get hammered with him, it's not going to happen. I'll have a glass or two, but, regardless of the consequences for me, there will be nothing more than that. It's a choice on my part born out of the genetics of my family which do not allow for graceful alcohol consumption. I've read enough to see that this could possibly pose a problem once I am employed under a Korean boss who might see it as being anti-social to not do so on company or school trips, outings, etc. Or, maybe my coworkers would feel this way. So you know, I am most likely going to work at a public school.

Is there a polite way out of this particular expectation? I assume it would depend on my boss's and coworkers' awareness and maturity level.

Any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks.

[faderama]

I hear so many people bark and gripe about this pressure, but I never feel it.

Sure, people drink here more than most countries and you will be invited to go drinking too many times to count. It's up to you if you want to go or politely decline.

But in terms of being expected to drink hard all night. Forget about it, if you have a backbone nobody will pressure you like that, and you shouldn't let yourself get pressured like that.

As for me, my drinking has went WAY DOWN in my 1.5 years here. At work I'm the guy who punches in and punches out and ignores everything else.

[R. S. Refugee]

I am really, really, very, very happy to be able to answer this important question for you. And, my answer is not based on speculation. It is based on first-hand observation in the field of my Korean colleagues at Korean PS teacher social events.

Here goes. (By the way, full disclosure requires that I mention that I've just come back to my pleasant home after a pleasant week of teaching my pleasant middle school students and consumed a pleasant bottle of 13% white wine.)

Not all Koreans are heavy drinkers. Many will dispute this fact, but, quite frankly, that's their problem. Everything I'm saying is based on personal observation. I've been to these after-work eating, drinking, norae-banging events and I can tell you this: Appearances are important. You don't want to say, "Take a hike" to your colleagues or, even more importantly, your bosses. So, the teetolalling, or near-teetolalling Koreans that I've observed do one of two things. When the boss, or some eager colleague, comes around for the drinkiing ritual, they either fill up their shot glass (sogu glass) with cider (sweet soda water) or beer (how drunk can you get on an once of beer?) and do the ritual.

Unless you're very dense (or very drunk), no further explanation should be needed. You've fulfilled the obligatory tradition and consumed so little (or in the case of cider no) alcohol that no one could possibly get drunk, yet ritual and face are preserved.

If you can't figure out the solution from this explanation, I don't know what else to say.

Except, "Cheers!"

One last comment about this. These teetotaleers or near-teetoleers do not try to hide the fact that they are using cider or beer for the ritual from anyone. There's no subterfuge that I can see, and no offense taken either from what I've observed.

Cheers, again.

[ttompatz]

[ED209]

The problem I get is the 'snub'. I often turn down drinks handed to me or food shoved under my nose(as if for me to eat from their hand). This can cause sulking from the boss, principal or co-worker. Let them know you don't drink. When they invite you out remind the boss you can't drink. This will save them 'face' from pouring out a drink and you waving it away, which could be seen as offensive. You could also say you're on medication for gonorrhoea, that would be interesting.

[Figure8]

All good to know. Thanks.

[Atavistic]

I've been given beer, at work--BETWEEN CLASSES while students were WAITING in my room--by a superior more times than I care to remember.

Public elementary school, by the way.

[Edit: singular, not plural.]

[Figure8]

Wow. That's eight kinds of wrong.

[R. S. Refugee]

[Atavistic]

[Atavistic]

[R. S. Refugee]

[Hank the Iconoclast]

Aye, I have seen it during school hours but only during special events and the students went home early.

[Ukon]

I used to think the same as you due to my family history(some alcoholics)....and when I did start drinking it was addictive at all...

If you can drink a few glasses just fine, I don't think you got the pre-disposition to be alcoholic. A few glasses was never enough for them.....

[Figure8]

Thank you, Ukon. I appreciate the thoughtful suggestion. But I didn't mean to give the impression that I am new to drinking, if that's what you were thinking. Quite the opposite. I am thirty-five and have probably drank thousands of swimming pools worth of alcohol since before I could drive. It was fun most of the time, sure, and, like I said, I still have some once in a while, wine or a beer or whatever. But, believe me, overall imbibing does not do someone like me any favors over the long haul for whatever reasons there are for that, genetic or temperamental. So, to avoid any future trouble, I, for the most part, just quit.