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Fishead soup
Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Location: Korea
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 Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:14 pm Post subject: |
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| KirbyMagnus wrote: |
| Fishead soup wrote: |
| KirbyMagnus wrote: |
| Fishead soup wrote: |
| KirbyMagnus wrote: |
On a slight tangent, I believe more people are marrying later in life because it takes people until their mid to late 30's to be mature enough to be in a marriage.
I think by the age of around 35 we have more realistic expectations of what we want and what another person could offer.
I think there is only one fundamental requirement for a life partner. Someone who does not wreck your head. I think as we get older what we really want is someone we can have the odd good conversation with and for the rest of the time they shut the hell up. Silence doesn't have to be a sign of awkwardness or "issues in the relationship", it can just be the sign of two people who are totally comfortable in each others company.
Sorry if I seem negative today. Korean woman are lovely but my god they are hard work. |
I'm really beginning to think that it is absurd to think that you could ever be right about anything. When you flamed me in my last post you confirmed that you are in fact an idiot.
People are looking for someone who looks good naked. If you don't believe that then I don't know what planet you inhabit. Centainly not this one |
I'm sure it would be better to not respond and let someone else speak for me but in this instance I must respond as this is 100% Grade A flame bait.
You have proven yourself once again to be completely ignorant and cynical when it come to women.
"People are looking for someone who looks good naked" - Wow! all that time spent by artists, poets and philosophers throughout the centuries to define human relationships and yet you nail it just like that. Wow!
Forget the fact that two people can connect emotionally and that we are all physically imperfect in one way or another. We are all after someone who looks good naked.
So even if a woman is a complete b*tch. Even if she is an alcoholic or even if she cheats on me. It doesn't matter because she looks good naked. Men are robots who will forgive a woman anything as long as she looks good naked. You have the emotional maturity and literacy of an adolescent.
I don't think you have ever been in love. I don't think you have ever even made love to a woman who wasn't drunk.
Don't dare call me an idiot again. Also, I never flamed you. In that instance you said something extremely ignorant about women and then started complaining about the PC police. At least some of the other posters have thought deeply on the subject. Your frat boy wisdom however is not needed. |
What next?? F@rt in a jar and call it art, Well then people might think you're a genius. All you have to do is quote someone like Roland Barthes or Marcel Duchamp. Then again you seem like the type who likes to babble on in Post modernist jargon. What ? Do you talk to Jacob or something. Such brilliance!!!!
I can imagine you spend your time gazing at the latest creation by Barbara Krugar. Very 80 's. You might be the most politically correct person on the planet. Maybe you can write the next passage on Pattaya for the Lonely Planet. I can imagine you'd at least do a good job of that.
Unfortunately you have the sexual maturity of someone who hasn't moved beyound beating off to the most recent copy of National Geographic. |
If anyone is flaming and acting like a troll it is you. Yes I may be a bit sincere and over earnest at times but when you are discussing love and marriage then obviously emotions are going to come into play.
But you singled me out and called me an idiot. Why? Because I disagree with you? Boo Hoo, people are going to disagree with you. Especially when we are discussing marriage and you say "people just want someone who looks good naked, and at the same time make an irrelevant and unwarranted attack on another poster.
I think saying that I would like a woman who doesn't wreck my head is hardly PC. I am not PC at all. But what I am is polite and considerate of the feelings of others. It is called empathy. When someone says something like "people only wan't people who look good naked" it suggests someone who needs to get outside of their own head and walk around in the shoes of a less beautiful person.
Don't give me any of the "sensitive" man rubbish either. Compassion, empathy, and respect for others are what makes a real man. I don't put women on a pedestal either.
I find it hilarious that you have painted me as some kind of hair shirt wearing Guardianista just because I don't subscribe to your cynical view on women. Post modern jargon? I try to keep my language as universal as possible.
I never set myself up as a genius or claimed to be. Fart in a jar and call it art? Please explain how that was relevant to anything I said. Do you talk to Jacob or something? What the hell are you on about?
Don't question my sexual maturity. You can't judge that on the basis of words. But you can judge someones emotional maturity by the things they say and write. |
I don't think you are aware of what's going on. You were the one who started throwing insults around first. You have never met me yet you claim I have never made love to a women based on your own ignorance.
Guess what you're assumptions of ignorance are irrelavent. If as you claim I am some ignorant borish virgin who is venting as an insult to women nothing could be further from the truth.
First don't come to idiotic conclusions. Some of the biggest assholes out there have no problems picking up women. I also don't subscribe to the nice guys finish last myth.
Don't claim to know anything about me and stop your judgmental prudish
posts you fool. |
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bogey666
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Location: Korea, the ass free zone
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:16 pm Post subject: Re: shame culture |
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| Ebes wrote: |
| bogey666 wrote: |
| How society defines "womanhood" and how having kids is a part of that definition is a fascinating discussion that I can't really be a part of (since I'm not a woman) |
This is a tack which I just cant get my head around. I know what youre saying, and most men who have had some exposure to feminism feel similarly, but this kind of perspective really puts a stop to productive interpersonal conversations with your female partners.
Ive talked with girlfriends about this before, and a topic which always prompts this response from me personally is about menstruation. men are blindly afraid of actual discussions about it, and most of the girls I've encountered assume that men can never understand it - the problem is that weve become so accustomed to talk of period blood being taboo that our culture (N. american culture at least, I've only just signed onto my first year in Korea, starting soon) forces to think of it as wholly alien. How many men are actually interested in sex while their partners are menstruating? How many women feel shame and men feel guilt as a result, for the most natural of events?
Don't respond, because we men could never possibly understand. : ) Seriously though, westerners are never supposed to talk about it, because its so deathly embarassing. This is the true shame. |
actually I didn't mean that as a lack of desire to understand... or lack of interest. I'm actually intensely curious and interested..
however..
the man is also in a no win situation in such a discussion - all you should really do is nod your head and digest what you are being told - because in the end.. you cannot REALLY understand what it feels like to be PMSing.. what it meanns/how it feels to be pregnant... AND what kind of societal pressures (if any) a woman feels to have children/family in order to fulfill the societal definition/expection of a woman.
that's all I was trying to say.
p.s. as to menstruation. it's not a big deal to me, but having/seeing blood on my *beep* produces a very negative visceral reaction, for a variety of reasons and I'm sure this is the case with most men, hence our discomfort with it, especially in sexual situations. |
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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| bogey666 wrote: |
| KirbyMagnus wrote: |
Sorry if I seem negative today. Korean woman are lovely but my god they are hard work. |
that brings to mind one of those "if I only knew then what I know NOW" moments.
and one of those things my mother was absolutely CORRECT on, (though I refused to believe her growing up)
your success with women or their interest in you is INVERSELY proportional to the amount of "work" you invest in/with them .. |
That your mother apparently thought this was a sign of a healthy relationship and taught you this explains so much. |
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bogey666
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Location: Korea, the ass free zone
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Atavistic wrote: |
| bogey666 wrote: |
| KirbyMagnus wrote: |
Sorry if I seem negative today. Korean woman are lovely but my god they are hard work. |
that brings to mind one of those "if I only knew then what I know NOW" moments.
and one of those things my mother was absolutely CORRECT on, (though I refused to believe her growing up)
your success with women or their interest in you is INVERSELY proportional to the amount of "work" you invest in/with them .. |
That your mother apparently thought this was a sign of a healthy relationship and taught you this explains so much. |
well in fairness she wasn't talking about a "relationship" (I don't believe I've ever heard her used that word... but she doens't believe in Oprah)
actually that's wrong, she watches Oprah (though her understanding of English is somewhat limited, and she actually eats up all that relationship advice bullshit, and columns, Dear Abby and all that garbage. Yet.. I have never ever heard her use the stupid psychobabble language used there. Ever.
doesn't make sense.. but... anyways..
she was talking about the girls I was chasing/infatuated with as a young man. As I grew older, experience taught me she was correct. The less interested I was in women, the more interested they were in me.
Now.... let's stop talking about my mother, since you know diddly squat about her and I'd prefer to leave her out of this (I only brought her up when someone suggested that I'd never say something like such and such in front of my mother, etc, - which was patently WRONG)
My mother is a fascinating and amazing woman. She likes to tell me that my father has never verbally told her that he loves her (using those exact words) but she's never complained about that or cared because she knows thru his actions that he does.
psst.. a secret.. my father's a big cuddler. I bet she LOVES that shit.. means more to her than a thousand stupid "I love you's" (and I grew up seeing a lot of that, I wonder if that influenced me, I kinda like to cuddle too haha! )
Doesn't mean I agree with everything my mother does. Au contraire.
But I'm extremely happy not to have been raised in a PC/American/Oprah/Dr Phil envionment) |
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KirbyMagnus
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 11:33 pm Post subject: |
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| bogey666 wrote: |
| KirbyMagnus wrote: |
Sorry if I seem negative today. Korean woman are lovely but my god they are hard work. |
that brings to mind one of those "if I only knew then what I know NOW" moments.
and one of those things my mother was absolutely CORRECT on, (though I refused to believe her growing up)
your success with women or their interest in you is INVERSELY proportional to the amount of "work" you invest in/with them .. |
I think in the initial stages of a relationship it is very bad to be too full on. Nonchalance is interpreted by women as confidence. Being too smothering and clingy can turn women off. You still have to let the girl know you like her though.
By "work" I meant having to swallow your pride whenever there is a flashpoint. Even if you did nothing wrong you still have to beg for forgiveness and accept all responsibility in order to keep the peace.
Men are generally forgetful but a woman will expect you to remember everything she tells you. She will make your life hell if you forget something she told you a month ago, or if you make plans to go out with your friends before consulting her even though SHE ALREADY HAS PLANS AND IS BUSY THIS WEEKEND AND I WAS GOING TO ASK HER TO SACK OFF HER PLANS AND COME WITH ME!!! "AH! THIS IS PERFECT SHE'LL LOVE THIS!!!" WRONG!!!!!
I don't mean sucking it in whenever she has a temper tantrum. Most western girls don't do that anyway. Just make your feelings clear and don't get angry.
Women. Can't live with them. Can't shoot them. |
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KirbyMagnus
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 11:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Fishead soup wrote: |
| KirbyMagnus wrote: |
| Fishead soup wrote: |
| KirbyMagnus wrote: |
| Fishead soup wrote: |
| KirbyMagnus wrote: |
On a slight tangent, I believe more people are marrying later in life because it takes people until their mid to late 30's to be mature enough to be in a marriage.
I think by the age of around 35 we have more realistic expectations of what we want and what another person could offer.
I think there is only one fundamental requirement for a life partner. Someone who does not wreck your head. I think as we get older what we really want is someone we can have the odd good conversation with and for the rest of the time they shut the hell up. Silence doesn't have to be a sign of awkwardness or "issues in the relationship", it can just be the sign of two people who are totally comfortable in each others company.
Sorry if I seem negative today. Korean woman are lovely but my god they are hard work. |
I'm really beginning to think that it is absurd to think that you could ever be right about anything. When you flamed me in my last post you confirmed that you are in fact an idiot.
People are looking for someone who looks good naked. If you don't believe that then I don't know what planet you inhabit. Centainly not this one |
I'm sure it would be better to not respond and let someone else speak for me but in this instance I must respond as this is 100% Grade A flame bait.
You have proven yourself once again to be completely ignorant and cynical when it come to women.
"People are looking for someone who looks good naked" - Wow! all that time spent by artists, poets and philosophers throughout the centuries to define human relationships and yet you nail it just like that. Wow!
Forget the fact that two people can connect emotionally and that we are all physically imperfect in one way or another. We are all after someone who looks good naked.
So even if a woman is a complete b*tch. Even if she is an alcoholic or even if she cheats on me. It doesn't matter because she looks good naked. Men are robots who will forgive a woman anything as long as she looks good naked. You have the emotional maturity and literacy of an adolescent.
I don't think you have ever been in love. I don't think you have ever even made love to a woman who wasn't drunk.
Don't dare call me an idiot again. Also, I never flamed you. In that instance you said something extremely ignorant about women and then started complaining about the PC police. At least some of the other posters have thought deeply on the subject. Your frat boy wisdom however is not needed. |
What next?? F@rt in a jar and call it art, Well then people might think you're a genius. All you have to do is quote someone like Roland Barthes or Marcel Duchamp. Then again you seem like the type who likes to babble on in Post modernist jargon. What ? Do you talk to Jacob or something. Such brilliance!!!!
I can imagine you spend your time gazing at the latest creation by Barbara Krugar. Very 80 's. You might be the most politically correct person on the planet. Maybe you can write the next passage on Pattaya for the Lonely Planet. I can imagine you'd at least do a good job of that.
Unfortunately you have the sexual maturity of someone who hasn't moved beyound beating off to the most recent copy of National Geographic. |
If anyone is flaming and acting like a troll it is you. Yes I may be a bit sincere and over earnest at times but when you are discussing love and marriage then obviously emotions are going to come into play.
But you singled me out and called me an idiot. Why? Because I disagree with you? Boo Hoo, people are going to disagree with you. Especially when we are discussing marriage and you say "people just want someone who looks good naked, and at the same time make an irrelevant and unwarranted attack on another poster.
I think saying that I would like a woman who doesn't wreck my head is hardly PC. I am not PC at all. But what I am is polite and considerate of the feelings of others. It is called empathy. When someone says something like "people only wan't people who look good naked" it suggests someone who needs to get outside of their own head and walk around in the shoes of a less beautiful person.
Don't give me any of the "sensitive" man rubbish either. Compassion, empathy, and respect for others are what makes a real man. I don't put women on a pedestal either.
I find it hilarious that you have painted me as some kind of hair shirt wearing Guardianista just because I don't subscribe to your cynical view on women. Post modern jargon? I try to keep my language as universal as possible.
I never set myself up as a genius or claimed to be. Fart in a jar and call it art? Please explain how that was relevant to anything I said. Do you talk to Jacob or something? What the hell are you on about?
Don't question my sexual maturity. You can't judge that on the basis of words. But you can judge someones emotional maturity by the things they say and write. |
I don't think you are aware of what's going on. You were the one who started throwing insults around first. You have never met me yet you claim I have never made love to a women based on your own ignorance.
Guess what you're assumptions of ignorance are irrelavent. If as you claim I am some ignorant borish virgin who is venting as an insult to women nothing could be further from the truth.
First don't come to idiotic conclusions. Some of the biggest assholes out there have no problems picking up women. I also don't subscribe to the nice guys finish last myth.
Don't claim to know anything about me and stop your judgmental prudish
posts you fool. |
If I offended you I apologise. I did not mean to be spiteful with the "virgin" comment. It was a bit condescending though and I am geniunally sorry as I think it is more rude to be condescending than outright insulting.
There was no reason to insult me and call me an idiot. I may not have the most polished intellect but I am not an idiot. We all have our buzzwords and I don't appreciate being called an idiot or a fool. For the record you called me an idiot first. I am not a prude. Get over your PC fixation. Whatever happened in the last thread is finished and the world moved on.
Anyway this has to stop as it is becoming a bit handbags at ten paces. Again, for my part I am sorry. Let us leave it at that. |
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Ebes
Joined: 01 Jun 2008
Location: NS
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| Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 11:20 pm Post subject: |
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kirby...
women: necessary evil? |
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KirbyMagnus
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Ebes wrote: |
kirby...
women: necessary evil? |
Indeed.
I am having trouble with a girl who was once delight, now turned into delirium. She is like all women, strange and evil. |
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chriswylson
Joined: 20 Feb 2007
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 1:23 am Post subject: |
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"your success with women or their interest in you is INVERSELY proportional to the amount of "work" you invest in/with them"
Hahaha!! Are you still dating high school girls?! A woman is interested in you or she isn't. If she is then it doesn't really matter what you do; if she doesn't, you can ignore her all you want, she'll just be happy to ignore you too. |
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bogey666
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Location: Korea, the ass free zone
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 4:25 am Post subject: |
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| chriswylson wrote: |
"your success with women or their interest in you is INVERSELY proportional to the amount of "work" you invest in/with them"
Hahaha!! Are you still dating high school girls?! A woman is interested in you or she isn't. If she is then it doesn't really matter what you do; if she doesn't, you can ignore her all you want, she'll just be happy to ignore you too. |
I'd say the truism holds true well into the twenties. By the late twenties and early thirties, when women enter their sexual peak and become more aggressive, I'd agree with you. |
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chriswylson
Joined: 20 Feb 2007
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 5:17 am Post subject: |
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| ??? A woman enters her sexual peak between 20 and 25, not in their early thirties!! And women are not 'aggressive', this is YOUR job! How many hot women have come to talk to you in bars after you've ignored them!? |
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bogey666
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Location: Korea, the ass free zone
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:16 am Post subject: |
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| chriswylson wrote: |
| ??? A woman enters her sexual peak between 20 and 25, not in their early thirties!! And women are not 'aggressive', this is YOUR job! How many hot women have come to talk to you in bars after you've ignored them!? |
no, actually it's supposedly in the early thirties, some say even the late thirties.
perhaps the ladies should chime in?
re "being aggressive" - you can make your interest know in many ways, with very varying degrees of aggression. I'm sure my mother's point was "don't chase after them", which was great advice though I was too stupid to accept it at the time. |
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raclos234
Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Location: korea
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:21 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| Women. Can't live with them. Can't shoot them. |
hahaha....i also like al bundy's line about that too: 'women. cant live with them. the end'
lol |
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theholyinnocent
Joined: 06 Apr 2008
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:33 am Post subject: |
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| bogey666 wrote: |
no, actually it's supposedly in the early thirties, some say even the late thirties.
perhaps the ladies should chime in? |
I think it's generally believed that the 'peak' women allegedly hit in their 30's is due more to increased comfort with their sexuality and increased knowledge of their own sexual desires, more than anything else. Hormonally, men and women flux at around the same ages. But women are often taught to repress their sexuality, which makes them hesitant to fully explore it. And adolescent/young adult sex is often heavily focused on male pleasure (by both participants -- not blaming either gender, but it's easier for less experienced girls to please guys than vice versa). So when women finally reach a point where they are comfortable with their sexuality -- in terms of how they are viewed culturally and how they in turn view themselves in relation to their culture -- and know what physically pleases them via experience, their libido often increases. It makes sense that this comes at an age at which most women have a couple longer-term relationships under their belt, and as such are more comfortable with (and consequently more interested in) sex -- their 30's. In other words, most people who study these things believe the peak has more to do with psychological, cultural, and experience-related factors than hormonal or physical. |
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lastat06513
Joined: 18 Mar 2003
Location: Sensus amo Caesar , etiamnunc victus amo uni plebian
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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I used to think that marriage was what dreams were made of and what would complete me emotionally, psychologically and spiritually........until I got married.
Now when people ask about my marital status, I'd tell them I am 'happily divorced'.........and that the short time I was 'tied in a knot', I proclaimed that period as the 'darkest years of my life'................so when I hear people talk about the 'loves of their lives', I'd gingerly warn them that it is better to enjoy the situation because dating is like a evolving door- you can easily go in and come out................marriage is when they shut down the door and leave you trapped inside............
Don't get me wrong, I would love to try it again, but I am enjoying my abundant solitude to the fullest.............
Three Cheers for Being Single!!!!!!!! |
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