Korean Job Discussion Forums

[sojourner1]

What do you do about a relative, partner, or room mate who just constantly talks about a bunch of stuff you have no interest in while you ar busy on your computer, trying to listen to music, and live your life? It is so obvious I have no interest in what my brother says, but this low IQ brother of mine seems to not recognize or respect this fact. He also talks about old news of what happened in our dysfunctional family when we were kids and is repetitive on what he says every day too. Yes, I said, he's repetitive. This is sort of a rant, but I also seek your advice on dealing with relatives when home.

I am staying temporarily with and helping my older brother now who is down with a broken leg who constantly talks about who got arrested, who screwed who, who made who, who gets drunk, who does drugs, how the country system is f*cked, and how the whole world is going down the drain. He is just a redneck factory worker does not do drugs and only drinks beer, but who just constantly gossips about a bunch of local small town people I don't know anything about or care about. When he walks, he never sits and just constantly paces the floor for hours while talking about it all; all that I lack any interest in what so ever. He talks about all the TV shows he is watching while watching them which I lack interest. If I tell him I'm not interested or don't want to talk, he just gets mad and threatens to have a fist fight. He doesn't want me on the phone or saying anything to anyone. Often, if I don't respond, he will yell, "eh?" I have helped him alot and feel so entrapped and burdened by him and the rest of my relatives so I'm never going to live around relatives again after what I went through in the past 3 months with them. Dam their irresponsibilities and ignorant ways pecking at my health, quality of life, and ruining my life. I have another brother who is trouble and trying to get everyone in trouble with the police, while I have a mom who was trying to kill herself with Vicoden and Xanex, but I got the mother straightened out now. Every time I came home over the years, I had to straighten out all these dysfunctions that were about to kill people and go through all this stupidity. It's called, going through alot of uncessary bullshit and I should never stay more than a few days to a week during a visit.

What can I do to be left alone and given some free quiet time in the apartment? I am just trying to get ready, stay out of trouble, take care, and stay healthy. I got to have a clear head and get ready to go on this big trip to the other side in 2 weeks. I'm really looking forward to being on my own again, having quiet privacy, and not having all this nonsense in my life. I would had rented a place at home, but hardly nothing is available without a year lease and no sleeping rooms like their was before the railroad was taken down. Next time I come to the USA, I am going somewhere else such as Florida or the Carolinas and just going to enjoy what my home country has to offer all by myself. This will be good as there is nothing for me in Missouri. Uh, gotta survive these last 2 weeks...

[uberscheisse]

i find that saying things like "you need to stop talking" works.

or, spending a lot of time out of the house with headphones on is also effective.

[OiGirl]

"I'm going to bed now."
"I'm going to take a nap now."

[spliff]

Sounds like Earl's brother...

[anyway]

I am sorry to hear about your family's impact on you. I can relate if only in a limited sort of way. I find myself very disinterested in much of what passes as conversation when I visit home. I guess you could feign interest and just pretend you're a character in the drama, but that doesn't seem healthy. If I were you, I would try to probe your brother's feelings on the issues that he is raising with others. Maybe you can get him to delve deeper into the topics he is bringing up. Granted, a lot of times this kind of constant gossip is akin to the Jerry Springer show mentality - making fun of/disparaging others for lack of any other kind of mental activity. It's obvious your brother has a fair bit of anger or resentment built up, so maybe you shouldn't even go there, but making your disinterest obvious is also not a really suitable option. From my experience it just highlights the huge disparity between myself and my family. When I visit home and the few obligatory questions about my life have past, I can either try to get into what they're saying (albeit from my perspective) or suffer and watch the clock until departure time. The choice is yours. In any case, props for helping take care of your brother...

[canuckistan]

Keep the family/people who generate way to much stress for you at an arm's length.

Non-stop talking-bots are a pox on one's serenity.

Next time, try and organize any other accomodations but those.
Drop in, visit, and when you feel your blood pressure rising--leave.

[lastat06513]

Shut the door.......

[TheUrbanMyth]

[darkcity]

sarcasm and passive aggression sometimes works for me.

i knew this guy, my friend's boyfriend, every time i saw him, he'd suggest to me to enter a short film in the TropFest (a film festival) because the standard was low and the cash prize was high, and it's worth a try, etcetcetc, blablabla. every fucking time i saw him he'd talk about this.

so finally i turned the tables on him. the moment i saw him, "hey, can you tell me more about the trop fest?! i want to enter my film in the trop fest! the cash prize is high right?! and the standard of entries is low?! what's it called, the 'TropFest' right?"

well, we didn't stay friends but he finally shut the *beep* up about it. i guess that's not very helpful if you want to maintain your family ties.

[poet13]

You have two weeks left. Make an excuse (school asked you to come back early for training seminar), get the hell out of there, and go find peace. You won't be doing your students any favors by coming back here ready to rip someones head off.

P.S. You talk too much.

[Unposter]

It may not be the advice you want to hear but it sounds like your brother is suffering and he would like to be more part of your life. He does not seem to like his situation and maybe he blames his family situation for his current situation. Maybe, he is jealous of you.

Think of some activities you can do together. Maybe, help him get his life together. Then, maybe, he won't feel the need to yap at you all the time.

Or, just cut him out completely...