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The final stretch and anxiety

 
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bundangbabo



Joined: 01 Jun 2008

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:43 am    Post subject: The final stretch and anxiety Reply with quote

I have been here for 5 solid years but 7 all up with a year teaching in China and Japan and I am finally heading home in 2 months. I would consider myself a person who can get anxious in certain situations but now that I can really feel the end of the tunnel, every day is a mission and by the end of each day I am consumed by an almost literally blinding anxiety. I am a fairly good teacher as far keeping the bosses and kids happy but part of me feels like a sell-out. The kids dont really learn as fast as I want, I have learnt two new languages and my aquisition was so fast compared to the ol hagwon system. Basically what I am asking is, can anyone relate to the anxiety that builds up each day or are you all just cruising through the days happy as? And if it is the forrmer, tips that arent obvious like exercise or alcohol would be appreciated.
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stevieg4ever



Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Location: London, England

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

travel china 6 weeks
travel mongolia 3 weeks
voluntary work in malaysia borneo 4 weeks
voluntary work in thailand 4 weeks
travel rest of asia 4 months

this is what i have to look forward to post korea. dude i can feel your anxiety and this is my first year, it must be 50 times worse for you. if you have any ideas then run them by me because i need them just as much. i guess everyone feels the same but i bet your last few days you will feel more sadness.

this isnt like office work: you connect and bond with people and that makes it all more the harder when you part. I hate my school and co teachers but the kids are awesome and I bare no grudge against them. It will be a sad day.
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bundangbabo



Joined: 01 Jun 2008

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is what gets me through, looking forward to what will come at the end of August, I am having a delayed honeymoon in Paris, I actually just found out my wife is pregnant which is fantastic, buying a new car when I get back to Australia, a whole new career that I have been preparing myself for 10 years. I suppose today was especially tuff bcoz I had open classes which is all the mums sitting in and filling in assessments on me, which I have never been comfortable with but now I work in an elite area, I have found the BS that comes with these Mum is tenfold anywhere else. It is not easy to do this shit we do and as I come to the end of it all, I am consumed by so many contradictory feelings that it is hard to know where my head is at.
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sistersarah



Joined: 03 Jan 2004
Location: hiding out

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a friend who is also very close to leaving after a few years in Korea. She feels the same as you. She's feeling anxiety and super burn-out. I don't think there's any excellent advice anyone can give you except sit tight and try not to take things like the Mums too seriously. It sounds like you have so many good things in store.
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bundangbabo



Joined: 01 Jun 2008

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks guys, I suppose I didnt really want any fixes really but just wanted to know I wasnt alone. It has been one crazy ride in the esl world and now that it is coming to an end, my mind is on overload-dealing with the goodbyes and the future expectations. Some days, I have absolutly hated here but I am surprised to find myself saying, "when I leave I really miss......" One thing I wont miss is walking out of my apartment and smelling all the officetels that house businesses smelling my hall up with smoke...but every one thing I wont miss, I can fill with 10 things that I will and yet one month ago it was the opposite. Can you see how crazy my thoughts have become Shocked Shocked Shocked Rolling Eyes
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Draz



Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:19 am    Post subject: Re: The final stretch and anxiety Reply with quote

bundangbabo wrote:
I have been here for 5 solid years but 7 all up with a year teaching in China and Japan and I am finally heading home in 2 months. I would consider myself a person who can get anxious in certain situations but now that I can really feel the end of the tunnel, every day is a mission and by the end of each day I am consumed by an almost literally blinding anxiety. I am a fairly good teacher as far keeping the bosses and kids happy but part of me feels like a sell-out. The kids dont really learn as fast as I want, I have learnt two new languages and my aquisition was so fast compared to the ol hagwon system. Basically what I am asking is, can anyone relate to the anxiety that builds up each day or are you all just cruising through the days happy as? And if it is the forrmer, tips that arent obvious like exercise or alcohol would be appreciated.


I have the same problem. (Except I have been here three months. And I'm leaving in three months.) By the end of the day, I'm shaking. I feel like I'm about to drop dead. I have no idea what to do. The only cure is not being at work. I am home now and fine. (As long as I don't think about how I have to go back to work tomorrow.)

I fantasize about drowning myself in soju when I'm at work but then I get home and I'M FINE. Arrrgh.
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ttompatz



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Location: Kwangju, South Korea

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

bundangbabo wrote:
That is what gets me through, looking forward to what will come at the end of August, I am having a delayed honeymoon in Paris, I actually just found out my wife is pregnant which is fantastic, buying a new car when I get back to Australia, a whole new career that I have been preparing myself for 10 years. I suppose today was especially tuff bcoz I had open classes which is all the mums sitting in and filling in assessments on me, which I have never been comfortable with but now I work in an elite area, I have found the BS that comes with these Mum is tenfold anywhere else. It is not easy to do this shit we do and as I come to the end of it all, I am consumed by so many contradictory feelings that it is hard to know where my head is at.


Slightly off-topic.... I don't know how far along your wife is (congrats) but you should check with the respective airlines about THEIR policies in regards to pregnant women flying.

There are restrictions with many airlines after the 1st trimester and ALL airlines after the 2nd trimester. Many won't let her fly after the 7th month or they require a medical from THEIR doctor just before the flight (2-3 days).

.
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bundangbabo



Joined: 01 Jun 2008

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

all good, found out last week, she will hardly be showing
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gajackson1



Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: Casa Chil, Sungai Besar, Sultanate of Brunei

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We are trying to put a good face over here, but it is major stress/anxiety.

We are leaving after 10+/6+ years. C's Uni work finishes up this week, basically - exams, grades, proctoring, etc.

For me, I'm a little luckier - just some projects to wrap up (although the news today that the Ministers may all mass-resign/be reshuffled has thrown a major kink in one of my projects).

Dealing with the apartment, pets, tickets, moving, vehicles, send-offs, paperwork, banking, pension, tax forms, blahblahBLAH. Some nights, there simply is no sleep to be found.

No, you aren't alone. We just cope day by day, & rely heavily on each other. Stay focused on the positives & opportunities. Celebrate the little victories/the the things crossed off the list.

Hang in there!

Glen & Christina
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articulate_ink



Joined: 23 Mar 2004
Location: Left Korea in 2008. Hong Kong now.

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 2:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're definitely not alone. I'm leaving in two weeks and I'm pretty anxious about it, enough so that I've been sick for most of the last month. I'm not so concerned about money so much as the physical logistics of emptying out my apartment, getting rid of all the crap I'm not shipping to Hong Kong (my next destination), and -- perhaps worst of all -- saying my goodbyes. Although I've had some rough times in Korea, I also am fortunate enough to work at a decent university (last semester didn't go so well but overall it's been all right) with some truly terrific students. I'm going to miss them. I've also got some terrific friends here, and I'll hate leaving them too. Even though I'll be relatively nearby, it's not the same thing.

There's a lot to be said for preparing in advance. I've sorted out most of what I need to take care of -- I'm in good shape on the packing, banking, and pension. Also, I've done most of my grading for the semester already: once each student finishes his or her final exam, I can plug in the number and have the grade for the semester right away. So the worst of it was really a month ago when I was busting my ass to give myself a head start. Now I'm just coasting on the residual wreckage of my immune system, a lot of antibiotics, caffeine, adrenalin, and the anticipation of boarding that plane. And in all fairness, as everybody who knows me is aware, as much as I'll miss them all, it's overshadowed by the need to move on.

(Note: on the weekend of the 21st and 22nd, anybody in the Suwon-Osan-Hwaseong-Line 1 area who wants to raid my apartment and help yourself to whatever's left for next to nothing, please PM me. Most of my furniture is now sold or spoken for but who knows?)
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gajackson1



Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: Casa Chil, Sungai Besar, Sultanate of Brunei

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, a_i? Why not come out/around/over to Songtan? Christina & I are packing up a bunch of stuff to give away at the DESL get-together in Songtan the 20th/21st.

I have a lot of respect for you as a poster - congrats on the new gig. Maybe we can catch up in Macau some time - flights from Brunei are cheap.

Regards,

Glen
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Matman



Joined: 02 Jun 2006

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

gajackson1 wrote:
Hey, a_i? Why not come out/around/over to Songtan? Christina & I are packing up a bunch of stuff to give away at the DESL get-together in Songtan the 20th/21st.

I have a lot of respect for you as a poster - congrats on the new gig. Maybe we can catch up in Macau some time - flights from Brunei are cheap.

Regards,

Glen


That would have made a great PM.
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gajackson1



Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: Casa Chil, Sungai Besar, Sultanate of Brunei

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mat -

Possibly/probably right - but we have planned several public sendoffs/get-togethers these last few weeks. Sometimes people see some threads, and miss others.

Cheers!

G.
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bliss



Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Location: Gyeonggi

PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 2:31 am    Post subject: Hey articulate_ink Reply with quote

I live in Suwon and I might be interested in taking some of your stuff.
What kind of stuff have you got?

[email protected]
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