Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mindmetoo]

[Bearach]

[PRagic]

If you have to ask, then you've never been in love. And by this I mean consumed by it. Looks wear off, and love changes over the years, but by-the-by, it does it better.

And once you've been married for a few years, you realize that you learn more about yourself than even before by doing life with someone. Not a roomie, not a buddy, but someone who's benefit you put before your own.

You find value in the human condition. You realize that there is someone in the world who will support you even though there is a downside from where they stand.

But the decision to 'get married' happens on it's own. I would caution against it for anyone who doesn't know deep down in their gut that it's the right thing to do.

[crusher_of_heads]

fiveeagles is referencing somehwere in the last chapters of Matthew, if memory serves correct. It has been a source of controversy in the Church -it certainly goes against the gospel of John.


Oral Roberts is garbage-no controversy there.

[fiveeagles]

[mindmetoo]

[Unposter]

I do think having a legal contract helps maintain the relationship. There should be no fault divorce; people should not be imprisoned for the rest of their lives but having the contract does keep your eyes on the seriousness of the relationship.

Just my opinion. If you want to live with someone by all means do. But I don't see it as the same as marriage. Maybe, I should but I don't. It's just not the same level of committment.

[Nomadder]

[friendoken]

[quote="Nomadder"]I don't get it. Anything you want from a relationship can be attained without legally binding your existence to that of another human being.

Sex? If this is the case then either your own desperation, or your religion is driving you to this. I won't comment in either case.

Love? If you want to be with someone then be with them. Why write up a contract about it to punish each other if you have a fallling out further down the road?

Financial reasons? Hm... This seems to be the most valid reason. (not saying its a good one...) Whether its your stereotypical gold digger, or someone who wants a better visa or citzenship in another country.

Other "security" concerns? If this is the case then maybe you should endeavor to figure out how to overcome your fears/security reasons on your own rather than cast your fate with someone else. (Whether its "I need someone to take care of me" or "I'm afraid to be alone".)

Biology? The need to get and rear offspring? Again, do we need a contract for this? Perhaps some see this as a means of insuring against single parenting? Maybe the marriage contract is seen as making it more difficult for one partner to leave the other to raise the child(ren) by ones self? That may seem a little calculating, but perhaps it's not as deliberate as that...

Just to make it clear I'm not anti-relationship. I'm not even anti-long-term relationship.
(Also, hopefully it is immediately obvious that this post isn't directed specifically at either sex.)

I just don't understand why people have allowed themselves to become so conditioned, as to automatically equate love with what is essentially a legal document. It seems somewhat perverse to me.

I'm interested in reading posts from all sorts. Whether you've sworn off marriage (something I haven't done... who knows...), are married, or are planning on getting married...

Why?

What does marriage mean to you?[/quote]

Many posters have diverged from the OP's question. Fiveeagles and cornfed have certainly expressed some interesting opinions

Nonetheless, to answer the OP's actual question, to me marriage means comfort. I will get married someday, hopefully sooner rather than later, and I will take great comfort saying "this is my husband" and in hearing "this is my wife". Somehow, "this is my partner, mate, boyfriend/girlfriend" ad infinitum, just doesn't appeal to me, unless I am in high school or just beginning a relationship.

I may be going out on a limb here, but I feel marriage expresses a certain level of emotional maturity as well.

[Cheonmunka]

If you are going to do it marriage is something you should not do in your twenties and certainly not as compulsion, as in people telling you or nagging you. You have to wait until a voice inside yourself tells you.

I didn't know I was going to get married until a completely unsolicited small voice inside my head said, "You can marry now." Like a biological clock that struck on year 30.

[Atavistic]

[mountainous]

[Cheonmunka]