Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Rumple]

Dave's ESL Cafe Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real men of Genius)
Today we salute you. Mr. Self-Appointed Grammar Douche
(Mr. Self-Appointed Grammar Douche)
A proofreader on a mission, you call posters on their English mistakes
Because gramar errors equate to flawed arguments.
(There are two M's in grammar!)
Your superior knowledge of parts of speech and verb tense agreement translate to general intellectual superiority.
(You're so smart!)
Everybody knows that a 24-year-old dude who teaches EFL to 9-year-olds should know the difference between a gerund and a gerundive, and you're just the instrument of justice to bring him to task.
(Lay down the law!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Professor. 'Cause we all know, there are a whole lot of poster's out there that need their ability to teach English questioned...with maximum vitriol.
(Mr. Self-Appointed Grammar Douche!)

I've decided to start including one purposeful spelling or grammar error in most posts I write from here out. I'll be posting a link to this post for every grammar douche who calls me on my "error."

If that's how you got to this thread, then this Bud's for you!

[yawarakaijin]

English does not have gerundives. The correct term in the English language is verbal adjective. You should know this, and so should your kids. Come on man!

[agentX]

I have a better idea. Let me run with this ball.

Dave's ESL Cafe Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Slimy Hagwon Owner
(Mr. Slimy Hagwon Owner)
You are the king of an educational empire. An empire that encompasses 4 rooms on the fifth floor of a condemned building
(It's all mine!)
Your students come from far and wide, because all the other schools are full or they were kicked out of every single school in town.
(The Freedom Writers!)
Your school employs the best of the best; your mom, your wife, and some Canadians with Mohawks.
(The best of the best!)
Your school teaches English, a language you cannot speak and also misspelled on your pick-up bus.
(Oh no!)
Your teachers have no clue how to teach English. No worries. Just throw them into the classroom with something that says "English" on it; even if it's a bag of English Muffins.
(Pass the butter, Mr. Lee)
You have a winning financial strategy; fire the English teachers when they get to the 11th money so you can pocket their pensions and their severance which you can't afford anyway because you spent it all on hotels for you and your mistresses.
(Superman those hoes)
You've got it all; 4 active lawsuits against you by the Labor Board, the black car, crooked teeth, weak legal system, and desperate students willing to pony up whatever exorbitant fee you want them to pay so they can at least look like on paper that they are learning English.
(It's good to be the king)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Director. Because the smell of milking a poorly managed system is the same as the smell of victory.
(Mr. Slimy Hagwon Owner)

[Rumple]

[5600]

OMFG I forgot all about RMoG. This is destined to be one of the greatest threads of all time. However, it will get deleted at some point. Funny stuff.

[Rumple]

I've got a new one.

Dave's ESL Cafe Presents: Real (wo)Men of Genius
(Real Women of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mrs. Supermarket Ajjumma
(Mrs. Supermarket Ajjumma)
Armed with only a visor and shopping cart, you let nothing stand in your way.
(Literally!)
Glaring out over the aisles, you know you have a mandate from God to do anything you damn well please, and since everyone is younger than you, they'll just take it.
(Mianhamnida!)
If one of those smelly apes you call weigukin doesn't move fast enough at the checkstand, only you, Mrs. Supermarket Adjumma, know how hard to hit him with your shopping cart.
(I can't hit an old woman back!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Imo. 'Cause we all know you're a hard-drinking bitch, and that's the way you like it.
(Mrs. Supermarket Ajjumma)

[5600]

Today we salute you, Mr. Shiny Suit wearing guy.
We see you everywhere, subways, buses, churches and schools.
You stick out like a white guy on a basketball court.
Sporting� that ill-fitting, titanium colored suit with a smile.
(Watch it shine!)
There�s not a fashion magazine in print that displays the ensembles you create. With an orange shirt and pink tie you scream fashion plate.
Who says beige and violet checked shirts don�t go with a mustard yellow tie?
(Tell me who!)
How one man can get his pants hiked up so high and still breath will always attract a jaw-dropping stare.
(Can�t look away)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light ol� Versace of the subways. And maybe one day we�ll all be wearing our pants under our arm-pits.
(Mr. Shiny Suit wearing guy)

Bud Light Beer, St. Louis, Missouri

[Underwaterbob]

I'll shoot.

Dave's ESL cafe presents Real Men of Genius
(Genius!)
Today we salute you Mormon missionaries of Chungju.
(on your mission)
Bravely wandering the streets in search of converts.
(good luck)
Forever vigilant in your quest to converse with those who can't speak a word of your language.
(hangukeo hasayo?)
You never fail to cling to those few English speakers you encounter.
(despite their protestations)
Your ability to tolerate the desperation for comprehensible human contact is an inspiration to us all.
(*awestruck silence*)
We're proud to have you knock on our doors, day after day, unrelenting.
(knock knock)
Neither sleet, nor oppressive humidity, nor pushy adjumma, nor insane taxi driver shall stay you from your appointed rounds.
(hoonnnkkk, scrrrreeeeccchhhh)
So crack open an ice cold ummm, whatever it is your religion permits you to drink, and regale us with tales of Joseph Smith and the Golden Plates.

[Rumple]

Can someone do a salute to English Village Edutainers? I tried one, but it didn't come out funny. I know that's a good subject for RMoG though...

Wouldn't mind seeing one to specific, idiosyncratic posters as well. I smile thinking of what someone could come up with for kentucker4.